Angel Posted February 25, 2002 Share Posted February 25, 2002 I have not been sexually stimulated by ONE of them! In fact, I rarely dance--only when I really like the song. I do chat with men, but I have not been attracted to any of them. Don't try to fool yourself. If you are out clubbing and dancing with other men while in a committed relationship you are testing the waters. If you loved this guy you would not want to go clubbing. If you loved this guy you would want to get closer to his three children. If you don't love this guy, then leave him. BTW, I do think it is admirable that you have not given out your phone number to any of these men. But let me ask you something, have you danced with any of them in a way that left you sexually stimulated? If so, you know you should not be going clubbing while with this guy who's home with his kids. Link to post Share on other sites
ok Posted February 25, 2002 Share Posted February 25, 2002 Angel, That is good that you are not tempted, but it could be more of a thing where the right guy hasn't danced with you. I see it this way. If I were a poacher who fished without a license, but didn't get any nibbles, should I feel justified in trying when I didn't catch any fish? I've got the fishing pole, I'm hungry for fish, but I didn't catch a fish even though I tried, maybe all I did was fling the line into the water a little bit.... See what I mean? Link to post Share on other sites
Angel Posted February 26, 2002 Share Posted February 26, 2002 I see what you mean, but I am scarred to stay with this man,for fear of financial disaster. I need to stay solvent for my children and my retirement. I am 48 years young (look 38) and have worked hard all my life. Angel, That is good that you are not tempted, but it could be more of a thing where the right guy hasn't danced with you. I see it this way. If I were a poacher who fished without a license, but didn't get any nibbles, should I feel justified in trying when I didn't catch any fish? I've got the fishing pole, I'm hungry for fish, but I didn't catch a fish even though I tried, maybe all I did was fling the line into the water a little bit.... See what I mean? Link to post Share on other sites
Laurynn Posted February 26, 2002 Share Posted February 26, 2002 Believe me, I can TOTALLY relate to your concerns. The past few men I've dated have been ones who were divorced, had kids, paid up the wazoo in child support and alimony...particularly the last guy I dated...and this last guy, he paid $1400 a month in child support/alimony...plus he had to remortgage his house to be able to pay out his ex wife..meaning, he had a 30 yr old house with a HUGe mortgage payment. He drove a company truck so didn't even have his own vehicle. He had a great job but after all this 'stuff' he had to pay monthly, he couldn't have had much left over. This was a concern of mine. Our dates were usually to 'free things'....if things had worked out with us, I would have had to accept the fact (if we ever married) that a sh*tload of his pay check would be gone each month. I know that would have bothered me. If you have concerns about this guy's financial situation, then by all means end things with him...it's only fair to him and only fair to you. You know right now that his financial situation isn't going to improve ('cept if he wins the lottery, which won't likely happen)...... I don't think it's fair to him for you to spend your weekends (when he has his kids) out on the town. If you feel the need to do this, it just shows again that you are both on a different page and that you have different needs. Don't lead him on, with him thinking that you're 'into him' when in your heart, you're not. L Link to post Share on other sites
Karlee Posted March 1, 2002 Share Posted March 1, 2002 No it is not wrong at all, as it seems as you are not totally committed to him and this relationship. As for a man who is "strapped" and has three kids, seems as though you are his crutch, just don't start being his money bags or you may have a problem getting rid of him later. Years ago I was with a man that had three girls, ages 5, 8, and nine and I thought that I was fulfilled as I wanted kids but not the actual giving birth and raising them, but there were too many unresolved issues with his ex, everytime he took the kids to visit her they would have a quick roll in the sheets, thanks to the five year old who asked why does daddy sleep with you and mommy, that was it, I was out of there as though the house was on fire. I don't think that it is fair to stay with him until the right one does come along, but this is your decision. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
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