Guest Posted September 18, 2006 Share Posted September 18, 2006 I found out that my mother is cheating on my dad. I haven't caught her with the other guy, but I read her text messages. she is always hiding her phone, and makes sure no one gets to see it. I sometimes get to sneak up and read it when she is in the bathroom or something, Anyways, I dont know what to do, I need to follow her and see her with the guy, so I could confront her!!? should I do that??? I got the guys number, she puts it as a girls name, but its so easy to figure out that its not a guy!! I called that guy once pretending that its a wrong number, but I cant say anything. I can't figure out a way to find out who he is, or catch her with him. She knows my car obviously and my friends', so I dont know how I would get a chance to get actual and physical evidence. I dont know if I do get, what I should do? should I tell my dad? that means I will ruin my family more than it is now!!! Does anyone have any advice for me, I really NEED IT. Its affecting my life, its making me sad, and starting to resent my mom. Help anyone!!! Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted September 18, 2006 Share Posted September 18, 2006 Talk to your mother directly. Don't let her draw you into an argument about whether or not you have proof. Just tell her that you know, that it's hurting you, and that you want her to tell your father, or you will tell him for her. You have a right to feel comfortable in your own home. You have a right to be happy and her behavior is affecting you. If this were a friend, or someone unrelated, I might say you should stay out of this -- but she is your mother. She needs to act like it, and help you deal with her unacceptable behavior. Link to post Share on other sites
Sup Posted September 18, 2006 Share Posted September 18, 2006 Talk to your mother directly. Don't let her draw you into an argument about whether or not you have proof. Just tell her that you know, that it's hurting you, and that you want her to tell your father, or you will tell him for her. You have a right to feel comfortable in your own home. You have a right to be happy and her behavior is affecting you. If this were a friend, or someone unrelated, I might say you should stay out of this -- but she is your mother. She needs to act like it, and help you deal with her unacceptable behavior. Not bad advice, however I might tell your father, if I were you. But, I dunno. Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted September 18, 2006 Share Posted September 18, 2006 The only way to shut this down now is to tell your father. Don't you think your father has a right to know? If your father cannot count on you to tell him the truth then who will? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted September 28, 2006 Share Posted September 28, 2006 I found out that my mother is cheating on my dad. I haven't caught her with the other guy, but I read her text messages. she is always hiding her phone, and makes sure no one gets to see it. I sometimes get to sneak up and read it when she is in the bathroom or something, Anyways, I dont know what to do, I need to follow her and see her with the guy, so I could confront her!!? should I do that??? I got the guys number, she puts it as a girls name, but its so easy to figure out that its not a guy!! I called that guy once pretending that its a wrong number, but I cant say anything. I can't figure out a way to find out who he is, or catch her with him. She knows my car obviously and my friends', so I dont know how I would get a chance to get actual and physical evidence. I dont know if I do get, what I should do? should I tell my dad? that means I will ruin my family more than it is now!!! Does anyone have any advice for me, I really NEED IT. Its affecting my life, its making me sad, and starting to resent my mom. Help anyone!!! Same thing happened to me tonight, looked at her phone and saw the dudes name Kevin it was, and the thing is I know him, he works with her. So i came to the conclusion that i am going to have a little talk with the boss and have both there asses fired, If u have his number, give him a call and let him know what a sorry peice of **** he is and that he is causing alot of harm. He tells ur mother u know mom gets scared and boom problem solved she leaves him. Dad doesn't get hurt in it all either. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 28, 2006 Share Posted September 28, 2006 Nah, don't mess with your mom that way, getting her fired. Confront her and let her know what you've discovered. Can I ask, how old are you? How is your folks marriage in general? Is it possible that they're having problems? Still, no excuse for your mom to choose to go outside of the marriage and have an affair...That is awful. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted September 28, 2006 Share Posted September 28, 2006 No, I still think you should tell your mom first. Give her the chance to do the right thing. If she doesn't, even with your encouragement, that tells you that she puts herself before her children or family, and then make your own choices accordingly. Link to post Share on other sites
Tennman0204 Posted September 28, 2006 Share Posted September 28, 2006 Initially I would confront your mother and let her know about her affair and if she doesn't put a stop to it then you will tell your father about it. One way or another it either needs to stop or people are going to find out about it. I would also confront the lover and tell him to hit the road. Link to post Share on other sites
silentcharon Posted September 28, 2006 Share Posted September 28, 2006 Wow. I would talk to your mom, but I wouldn't say anything to anyone. I mean, what your mom does is her own personal business, and she should be able to choose what she wants to do. Let her know that it hurts you that she is having an affair, and see what she does. But IMHO, I think you should stay out of it. What is happening here is very private, and I don't know if your dad would like having to find out about it from you. Maybe your dad already knows and isn't doing anything? Or he knows, and is in the process of trying to work things out with her? They may even be keeping it quiet from you. If you know, there is a good chance your dad knows. You have to consider this. Go ahead and tell your mom, but don't do anything. Leave it up to her. Whatever you do, don't contact the OM, you don't have to make this any uglier than it has to get. Link to post Share on other sites
narcist_ave Posted September 28, 2006 Share Posted September 28, 2006 Talk to your mother directly. Don't let her draw you into an argument about whether or not you have proof. Just tell her that you know, that it's hurting you, and that you want her to tell your father, or you will tell him for her. You have a right to feel comfortable in your own home. You have a right to be happy and her behavior is affecting you. If this were a friend, or someone unrelated, I might say you should stay out of this -- but she is your mother. She needs to act like it, and help you deal with her unacceptable behavior. Perfectly said Link to post Share on other sites
catgirl1927 Posted September 28, 2006 Share Posted September 28, 2006 I would definitely confront your mom first. Getting your mother fired seems silly, immature and very overdramatic. This is real life, not a soap opera. Calling the guy, getting them fired, all that is going to be ineffective AND will really only humilate your dad and make you look like a huge troublemaker looking for drama and attention. I advise talking to your mom and giving her a deadline to deal with it before you go to your father. This is an issue which involves your whole family, it IS your business. But I would at least give her a chance to be an adult. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts