His Ex has been in contact and he did not reveal it?

[Guest]

After reading much of what is here my problems seems silly. It probably is, but I cannot help but to be bothered by it.

 

Quick facts: My husband (married for 5 years ) has an ex that he was in contact with rarely but on occassion while we were dating. I believe she has attempted to contact him again. Gut feeling and from a forwarded email among he and his friends. She has been rather forward in the past with mention of rekindling their relationship. I am quite sure she has contacted my husband. He has not said she has but I got this gut feeling along with indications from the email. That in itself does not bother me. What I am finding upsetting is that he would just not say anything to me.

 

Is that considered a lie? I did tell him I had a odd feeling that something was going on and asked if he had gotten any out of the ordinary emails, calls, or news. He said not that he could think of. Then this email turned up with conversation on it from her to the group, but it seems as though some of it was directed towards a previous conversation that they had in private. It is suspicious.

 

I did not ask him point blank if the ex contacted him. Wondering if I should or not? And if she did and he lied about it by simply not saying anything when I asked should I feel betrayed, or is this normal to hide things like this?

 

I do not feel threatened by this but I feel hurt and my trust is a little shaken I guess.

[whichwayisup]

You tell him that she can't be a part of his life, not even as a friend.

 

Because of this statement:

 

She has been rather forward in the past with mention of rekindling their relationship.

 

Why has she said 'relationship'? And, are YOU including in this 'relationship'? Should be 'friendship', if anything...But, seeing as she's an ex, NO good can come of them being friends, especially since it's upsetting you and he hasn't been upfront and honest with you about this.

 

Maybe that is why he hasn't said anything as he doesn't want to upset you, but him choosing not to talk to you about this is only making it worse. So, definately tell him how you feel.

[penkitten]

no ex contacts you after all this time just to say hi for nothing.

its passive aggressive.

 

heres her: i was just being nice and saying hi.

heres me: NO she wasnt.

 

if she contacted him, he really couldnt help it.

however if hes writing her back, you need to talk to him about it.

 

 

you could always add the keystroke logger to the computer and see what all he is writting her back .

[Rob In NC]

Who cares if his ex contacted him? Maybe she just wanted to say hi. He's married to you so I don't know why you should be threatened. I would be concerned if they talked a lot and hung out, but an occasional e-mail or something wouldn't concern me. Not every ex keeps in contact in hopes to restart a romance. They would simply like to know how they're doing, kind of like the "where are they now" vh1 specials.

[FolderWife]

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

 

When I get like this...I role reverse. If your ex contacted you, would you tell him? Honestly, why make him worry for no reason, right? why make him upset over nothing, right? Why possibly start a fight, because someone from the past wants to do you, right? Why make him want to kill the *bleep* for thinking he could get with his wife, RIGHT?!

 

I wouldn't tell my husband if an ex contacted me, because it would tick him off! I get hit on a lot, and I don't tell my husband! Why do that to him!? That's toture for no reason...and of course, he'll blame me, and say, "What were you doing to make that guy think he could get with you?"

 

Would you tell your husband if an ex contacted you? If an ex contacted you after so many years, would you write back? If you did, would you tell your husband?

 

There is a fine line between protecting and cheating. Cheating is when you WOULDN'T DARE tell your spouse or lover what you did. Protecting is when you would tell them, but it's just easier on both of you and the relationship if you don't.