For Couples Getting Married: Why?

[superconductor]

Firstly, let's dispense with a few "straw men" so the issue doesn't get clouded:

1. Marriage is no guarantee of anything - not fidelity, not trust, not financial commitment, not happiness;
    
   
2. Couples who live together and don't marry are just as good - and just as bad - at raising children;
   
3. Couples who co-habitate may or may not have happier lives than their married counterparts. There's too much individual differences to define a trend;
    
   
4. A couple who starts out living together and then gets married actually has a higher risk of divorce;
   
5. Whether married or living together, the Centers for Disease Control report states, "It's better for your relationship to be educated, religious, living in a good neighborhood, from a two parent home, and never raped, and have no children." (The "have no children" thing really surprised me!)
   

 

So, with these as background, is there any upside to getting married?

[a4a]

Upside is that financially you have more to gain and that is about it.

 

Health insurance

combined income for mortgages/other financial matters ( more apt to Ok a married than a cohab couple)

Society/religious folk don't poo poo on you in general.

Some basic perks to marriage.

 

But if society would ok cohabs and not mold things to "marriage" I would not have bothered with it.... It was a basic business decision in my case, simply made things easier for us.

 

I would totally agree that a couple can indeed be happier without kids.

[LaughMachine]

Yes there are some upsides to marriage. Financially speaking though. I agree with you. With out the financial upsides Its more of a " symbol and for validation purposes". No offense to married cuples but what are the chances of any cuple staying together forever. People think that with a marriage the probaility for everlasting love is more likely than with out getting married.

 

 

I could be bitter though, I have reasons.

[alphamale]

So, with these as background, is there any upside to getting married?

probably not...the reason why I'm anti-marriage is because I know I could never stay with once chick for the rest of my life.

[KittenMoon]

Well, for any couple who really wants to be together forever (regardless of whether this lasts or not) marriage can be a tangible sign of commitment, which is neither a good or bad thing, really.

[hotgurl]

marriage is really a symbol of your commiment to one another.

 

Marriage is one of the few rite of passage we still go through. There used to be many.

 

Also there is something to saying in front of family, friends and god this person is the one for me.

 

that and the medical insurance.

[alphamale]

marriage is really a symbol of your commiment to one another.

its also far more advantageous for women than for men...

[quankanne]

why get married? because you're willing to make that leap of faith, you're willing to put your trust in your future with another person.

 

is there an upside? that's a highly personal question, with answers varying from couple to couple. For me, it's knowing that every day we choose to stay married, we're still making that leap of faith together. And that's priceless.

[alphamale]

For me, it's knowing that every day we choose to stay married, we're still making that leap of faith together. And that's priceless.

right QUANK...in 10 years it will be like:

 

Lawyer fees: $11,000.00

Settlement: $75,000.00

Court costs: $1,500.00

Getting rid of the bitch: Priceless

 

[Touche]

Why get married? Some of the reasons also stated but also because we both wanted a child and don't believe in having children out of wedlock.

[LaughMachine]

why get married? because you're willing to make that leap of faith, you're willing to put your trust in your future with another person.

 

is there an upside? that's a highly personal question, with answers varying from couple to couple. For me, it's knowing that every day we choose to stay married, we're still making that leap of faith together. And that's priceless.

 

 

Hes right. It's for the married cuples personal reasons( not negative reasons) to get married. It can be beneficial to some and maybe not for others.

 

 

Oh alpha..tsk tsk tsk

[alphamale]

Oh alpha..tsk tsk tsk

buzz off LM

[LaughMachine]

buzzez off::

[Guest]

I agree with the no children part, children put a great strain on a relationship a lot of the times, and even more so if one of them didn't want the kids

[BeFree]

You answered your own question....

 

People who are sound financially, educated, want the same things and know there are know gurantees to getting married.....should get married if they want to. And yes the upside is companionship, financial, medical, family and so on.

 

But I have to say it gets old having the same question asked by bitter men who marry women based on their looks without taking the time to get to know them and then wondering why the can't stand to be married 6 months later.

 

 

Marriage is only benifical if you take the time to know one another, have common goals and interest and learn to communicate with one another. If you don't do that, then your chances of being miserable are pretty high.

[superconductor]

But I have to say it gets old having the same question asked by bitter men who marry women based on their looks without taking the time to get to know them and then wondering why the can't stand to be married 6 months later.

This would be funny if it wasn't so sad.

 

Marriage changes people. Sometimes for the better, but more often it's not quite so positive. How many threads have we seen here that go along the lines of, "Her sex drive has disappeared after we got married," or, "He just doesn't treat me the same anymore since we walked down the aisle"?

[a4a]

Love ain't gonna unclog the toilet..... or take the trash out...... but husbands will.

 

I have no idea where the hell that came from.... must be my bleach demon blurting things out. I apologize.

[KittenMoon]

Love ain't gonna unclog the toilet..... or take the trash out...... but husbands will.

 

I have no idea where the hell that came from.... must be my bleach demon blurting things out. I apologize.

 

 

In fact, husbands will also clog up the toilet in the first place!

[Touche]

This would be funny if it wasn't so sad.

 

Marriage changes people. Sometimes for the better, but more often it's not quite so positive. How many threads have we seen here that go along the lines of, "Her sex drive has disappeared after we got married," or, "He just doesn't treat me the same anymore since we walked down the aisle"?

 

Well, you won't usually see threads started by people who are fine in their marriage. My H and I will be together 12 years next month and he treats me just as well, if not better, than he did when we first got married. And our sex life is fine too, thank you very much.

 

This is a place people come to discuss their PROBLEMS, so of course it's skewed towards the negative.

[a4a]

Well, you won't usually see threads started by people who are fine in their marriage. My H and I will be together 12 years next month and he treats me just as well, if not better, than he did when we first got married. And our sex life is fine too, thank you very much.

 

This is a place people come to discuss their PROBLEMS, so of course it's skewed towards the negative.

 

 

except when you try to do it in the shower......... :p

[magichands]

This is a place people come to discuss their PROBLEMS, so of course it's skewed towards the negative.

I like to think it's skewed towards constructive advice...and alleviating the symptoms so that one can deal with a PROBLEM and work towards clarity...but I'm not sure where you fit in to my vision.

 

Maybe you don't have to.

 

I agree with the whole "marriage is a commitment" thing. If you don't want to work for the spoils, then you're probably spoiling the works.

[quankanne]

right QUANK...in 10 years it will be like:

 

Lawyer fees: $11,000.00

Settlement: $75,000.00

Court costs: $1,500.00

Getting rid of the bitch: Priceless

 

nah, alpha, I'm a "good" little Mexican Catholic girl who doesn't believe in divorce. Though I've got two sisters who'd be happy to help me become a widow if the need ever arose :laugh:

 

Marriage changes people.

 

of course it does, because LIFE changes and people respond to those changes. Otherwise you're dead.

[Mirage222]

I agree with the no children part, children put a great strain on a relationship a lot of the times, and even more so if one of them didn't want the kids

 

 

I think children crush a marriage/co-hab relationship or ANY for that matter.. Children are a burden to anyones lifestyle. I can understand that a love between mom and child and dad is child is like no other and that is fine and just flippin dandy but it DOES take apart or more like tear apart a once healthy all about eachother at one time relationship... I do not have nor want kids.. I think in part because I seen them destroy so many relationships.

 

What are the benefits of marriage you ask??

 

Nothing really..

[RecordProducer]

For some people it's more convenient to be married, for some not.

 

I think people generally mix up two different terms

 

1. To be married

2. To NOT be married.

 

Yes, you read it correctly! To divorce means to UNDO the marriage - to go back to your previous marital status. Just because you're left with kids and a few years more and different financial state doesn't make you "married" if you're divorced. Divorced people are the same as the ones who are never married - they are single.

 

There are no guarantees in ANY relationship and people don't get married for the reasons you've stated (trust, fidelity, etc.) People get married for the reasons that DO make a difference.

 

When the society and law start viewing legal marriages and couples just living together from the same angle, maybe the necessity to get married will be diminished.

 

The marriage certificate is a legal document, just like your birth certificate. If you don't have a birth certificate, does it means you were never born? No, but you need it in order to get other documents.

 

I had to marry my husband in order to be bale to live with him. On the other hand if we were not married (if I were born American), I would tell him: "I don't have to attend your family gatherings - they are not my family!" Moreover, if we lived separately, I would tell him that they are not welcome in my house. But then they wouldn't hate me cuz I wouldn't be a threat for them... So as you see, marriage does make a huge difference - sometimes good, sometimes bad.

[Touche]

except when you try to do it in the shower......... :p

 

You just HAD to bring that up didn't you? Meanie!

 

And Magic...can I have hit of whatever the hell you're smoking? WTF, were you talking about?