Tired of the "games"

[lefty smooches]

I'm about to give up on the whole dating scene. It used to be the fact that i'm in my mid twenties and i dated many young woman between the ages of 18-20, so all my friends would tell me that's why i'm having no luck, i'm dating too young a crowd.. So for some time now, i've dated woman close to my age or the same age as me and even a few years older, i'm just tired of all the "games". Because it seems, 18 or 30, they all play the same "games".

 

Hey i know i'm not brad pitt, but i'm a decent looking guy with a good job(career) and i treat the woman nice, i make them laugh but i don't go overboard on the first date, and i seem to get them interested enough that none of them ever says get lost or thanks but no thanks, and they all tell me to either call them again or they tell me to keep in touch.

 

What's discouraging is lately the young woman i've dated have seemed to have a great time on our first date, they seemed to be having fun, into me, into the conversation and into the time we spent together, but for some reason, they never return my call or email after that. I'm not the type of guy who will call and call and call again, i'll leave one phone message and then an email, if they don't get back to me, that's it, i move on.

 

I'm really just tired of the whole "Game". Lately i am really discouraged with the whole dating scene. I've dated woman i've met at local clubs/bars, grocery stores, bookstores, even online, so it's not that my selection is limited, maybe it's just the area i live in, i don't know,

 

it's really started to bother me.

 

At first it didn't matter, as long as i had fun and they had fun, but now i'm just at the point where honestly, If i acted like an a-hole or and idiot on the date, i'd get the same results.

 

I know a couple of the dates, after i went out with them, they got back together with old boyfriends, so i think i was just to get the old bf jealous or something, but honestly, the "games" are getting annoying.

 

I don't expect anything on a first date except to get to know one another a little better, but i also don't expect to seemed to be liked by the other person and then question what i did wrong because of never getting a return call or at least an email.

 

Long boring drawn out rant here, i'm just at the point where, if i paid for one of those dating escorts, i'd probably feel better about myself than to get "played" another time.

[Tony T]

When you get a good answer to your dilemma, please post it here. There are a lot of people who'd like to know what the hell the problem is these days.

[velvet]

Nope, not the 50's any more. How about you try sitting back and let the girls come to you for a while.

When you get a good answer to your dilemma, please post it here. There are a lot of people who'd like to know what the hell the problem is these days.

[no name]

maybe the women can't tell if you're really into them or not. It seems like you're waiting on them to make the first move. So maybe they think that you're calling once just to be polite but that's it. If there's ever a woman that you're super-interested in (more than the others) maybe you should consider breaking the "one call only" rule. Or maybe the true problem is that you just haven't met the right person yet, and it's just that right now, consciously or unconsciously, you're effectively screening out a lot of people who would be wrong for you anyway.

[lefty smooches]

Thanks for the advice, maybe i'm screening, maybe i'm not, i'm not showing that i'm not interested -- i'm just not being too swarming right off the bat you know.

 

I don't know what the problem is, cause a couple of the young woman i actually did like, definitely would have liked to go out on another date with, but like i said, it's not oh, only one call and done.. but from experience, if i call them and they don't answer and don't call back, i'll give it a few more days, and then i'll leave a nice email, but honestly, the majority of people have caller ID these days, and in fact most of the woman that i've dated have caller ID and i left them a message. So they have my number from before and my voice mail and then in a few days an email from me if they don't get back to me, so i'm not going to waste my time calling somebody that isn't worth the time.

 

If they wanted to talk to me they either would have answered the phone or called me back or at least left an email.. I'm just really tired of people pretending to be all into me and liking me, when in reality, all they wanted was to be taking out on a date and treated nice.

 

That's all fine and dandy for some, but i'm not into dating a new girl every night, i work too many hours to actually be able to do that for one, and for another, i usually hope that if there is some sort of chemistry, that getting to know somebody a little better on a second date would be good.

 

Wait for the females to come to me.. HOnestly everybody likes to believe this is the new age, equal this and equal that, but honestly again, i'm an above-average looking guy, and i am nice and have interesting things to say and make females laugh etc, but i'm not a rico suave/don juan smoothe talker and well,

 

Most of the time Girls come up to guys who Look Like Brad Pitt, not all the time, but there are certain guys that girls always come up to, they have that STUNNING LOOK, and we all know it, some of us get jealous of them, lol. A friend of mine was like that, never had to say much but the girls came up to him.

 

Girls do sometimes come up to me, but very seldom, maybe i come off as too "i don't care" or what not, but most of the time, most girls wait for the guy to come up to them. Unless you are Sterioid Built barely fit into your shirt guy or Brad Pitt or a STUNNING LOOKING MODEL Like guy, or your a bouncer or the bartender, you have to be the one who approaches the woman..

 

Thats just the way it is....

[yes]

Something perculiar is going on here......

 

You can try to fix this by acting differently. On your next date, try to seem more into her (like talk more about her, her life, her dreams), and see if she goes out w/ u again. On your next-next date, try to be more macho, see how that works - i dont know, just try slight variations and watch their reactions ... thats the only thing i can think of, aside from - u just havent met the right gal yet.

 

good luck

 

-yes

I'm about to give up on the whole dating scene. It used to be the fact that i'm in my mid twenties and i dated many young woman between the ages of 18-20, so all my friends would tell me that's why i'm having no luck, i'm dating too young a crowd.. So for some time now, i've dated woman close to my age or the same age as me and even a few years older, i'm just tired of all the "games". Because it seems, 18 or 30, they all play the same "games".

 

Hey i know i'm not brad pitt, but i'm a decent looking guy with a good job(career) and i treat the woman nice, i make them laugh but i don't go overboard on the first date, and i seem to get them interested enough that none of them ever says get lost or thanks but no thanks, and they all tell me to either call them again or they tell me to keep in touch. What's discouraging is lately the young woman i've dated have seemed to have a great time on our first date, they seemed to be having fun, into me, into the conversation and into the time we spent together, but for some reason, they never return my call or email after that. I'm not the type of guy who will call and call and call again, i'll leave one phone message and then an email, if they don't get back to me, that's it, i move on. I'm really just tired of the whole "Game". Lately i am really discouraged with the whole dating scene. I've dated woman i've met at local clubs/bars, grocery stores, bookstores, even online, so it's not that my selection is limited, maybe it's just the area i live in, i don't know, it's really started to bother me. At first it didn't matter, as long as i had fun and they had fun, but now i'm just at the point where honestly, If i acted like an a-hole or and idiot on the date, i'd get the same results.

 

I know a couple of the dates, after i went out with them, they got back together with old boyfriends, so i think i was just to get the old bf jealous or something, but honestly, the "games" are getting annoying. I don't expect anything on a first date except to get to know one another a little better, but i also don't expect to seemed to be liked by the other person and then question what i did wrong because of never getting a return call or at least an email. Long boring drawn out rant here, i'm just at the point where, if i paid for one of those dating escorts, i'd probably feel better about myself than to get "played" another time.