Destroyed

[ely]

I met a wonderful person whom I have dated for 3 years. I truly trusted him and I thought that our relationship was perfect, we did have our ups and downs but we worked through it. I have two children and I never let him into my home because I didn't like to bring different men into my childrens life. Finally, after almost two years into the relationship I got to the point where I felt comfortable with letting him in to my childrens life and I also told him that I will allow him in our lives if he would never do anything to hurt me or my childrens feelings. Now three years go by and I was feeling that something was wrong because we were not so intimate so I decided to dig and see what the problem was and I find out that all this time he was calling escorts I also found out in detail of what he did with these two escorts he was with in one hour. He swore that this just happened once. He said to look at the good things in our lives and that it was a mistake. He cried for forgiveness and I have cried ever since. I feel broken because his mom has been trying to introduce him to someone for the longest and now that she knows this is over I am sure this is her opportunity. I don't know what to do this is tearing me apart. I hardly sleep, eat and I went back into smoking. I am now drinking to try and relax. Two weeks now passed and I still feel the same. How do you forgive? How do you trust again? This is the man I wanted a future with and still love with all of my heart and soul. I text him twice letting him know that I hate him and his reply was I still love you and understand your anger we can work through this. I text him again and said I knew everything and his reply was do you know forgiveness & redemtion? I need advice...

[outofdarkness]

I met a wonderful person whom I have dated for 3 years. I truly trusted him and I thought that our relationship was perfect, we did have our ups and downs but we worked through it. I have two children and I never let him into my home because I didn't like to bring different men into my childrens life. Finally, after almost two years into the relationship I got to the point where I felt comfortable with letting him in to my childrens life and I also told him that I will allow him in our lives if he would never do anything to hurt me or my childrens feelings. Now three years go by and I was feeling that something was wrong because we were not so intimate so I decided to dig and see what the problem was and I find out that all this time he was calling escorts I also found out in detail of what he did with these two escorts he was with in one hour. He swore that this just happened once. He said to look at the good things in our lives and that it was a mistake. He cried for forgiveness and I have cried ever since. I feel broken because his mom has been trying to introduce him to someone for the longest and now that she knows this is over I am sure this is her opportunity. I don't know what to do this is tearing me apart. I hardly sleep, eat and I went back into smoking. I am now drinking to try and relax. Two weeks now passed and I still feel the same. How do you forgive? How do you trust again? This is the man I wanted a future with and still love with all of my heart and soul. I text him twice letting him know that I him and his reply was I still love you and understand your anger we can work through this. I text him again and said I knew everything and his reply was do you know forgiveness & redemtion? I need advice...

you need some professional advice on this one...I'd be very leery of him right now...Sounds like maybe he has a problem other then cheating...Protect yourself and your kids and do a background check on him if you have not already done so and if possible. Public records tell alot and don't cost much if anything. It might give you some short term peace of mind...Take care...am praying for you.

[Island Girl]

That just sucks. Of course you are reeling going from emotion to emotion. I can't even imagine, although I am trying.

 

You really do need to sort through this to do what is best for YOU. I don't believe there is a right answer.

 

How terrible to spend so much time and do all of the right things for your children and then this happens.

 

People do heal after things like this. Affairs, etc. It can be done but you really do need to talk with an unbiased party who can help get your feelings and what you really do want sorted out. It will take a while. But you'll be better. He may or may not be a part of the end result.

 

I hope you get it all out and start feeling better. I really do.

[mental_traveller]

Chances are it didn't just happen once. I know two guys who use escorts and neither of them gave up for any length of time. One is honest enough to stay single or in open relationships, the other has actually got married but still screws around with whores. When the consequences are minimal, and the risk of being caught is low, it's too tempting for them to break the habit of regular sex with attractive young women. My advice is immediately break all contact, and remove him permanently from your life. Cheaters rarely change, they always say they will, but they hardly ever do.

 

Remember that sleeping with escorts carries substantial risk of STDs, not to mention the chance he will fall for one of them, or get arrested and end up in the local paper. It's a field with plenty of unsavoury characters, gold-diggers, pimps, manipulators, blackmailers etc. It would be easy for him to get dragged down if he met the wrong person. For the sake of your sanity and future life happiness, the best thing you can do is harden your heart and try to destroy any romantic feelings you ever had for this guy. Boot him out, don't listen to his pleas, implement full No Contact and move on in life. You made an unfortunate mistake, not your fault at all, so why should you suffer the consequences. Get rid of this scumbag (yes, that's what he is) and eventually you can start looking for a real man.

[ely]

I did, I checked everything on him and his family. I think that he is a six addict. I want to mention that he is a dentist and ofcourse he has this kind of money to blow. During these three years he was with me he was also cheap.