What is Wrong with Me?

[NoChance]

So as I was leaving college and walking to the parkade this morning, I saw a very attractive girl walking towards me leaving the parkade. She went through the exit door and instead of continuing on, waited for me to approach (I was a good 5 steps away). While holding the door for me, she was looking right at me the whole time smiling, and all I could muster was a brief eye contact followed by a quick "thanks" and then walked past her. Her reaction as I walked past her was like surprise that I didnt stop. What the hell is wrong with me? This is not the first time its happened, there have been many times even my friends have pointed out to me, girls have made it obvious they want me to approach or talk to them, but I've shyed away. For today's situation, I dont know what I could have said even if I had the confidence to stop and try to talk to her, but there have been many occassions when girls have made it pretty obvious to me at a bar, party or someplace, and I always shy away.

 

I'm a pretty normal 22 year old college student. I dont get mistaken for a model or anything, but I'm well groomed, well dressed and I've been working out daily for 4 years now and in great shape. Although I still live at home, which doesnt usually impress girls, I have a newer sports car and a brand new racing bike which sometimes do. Yet recently when it comes to women, I have the confidence and luck of some highschool computer room monitor who still rides the school bus. I've had 4 girlfriends (2 long term) and a few brief encounters so I'm not a complete social reject, but everytime it only happened because the girl made the first move. Why dont I have the confidence to even look someone in the eyes, let alone stop and try to start a conversation with someone who has clearly indicated they want me to?

[loveinlife]

Im just like you NoChance. Sometimes I blame myself for not meeting another wonderful woman bc I don't take the initiative. My ex came to my door and I didn't have to look anywhere. Perhaps I am going with the flow and thinking if its meant to happen it would.

 

I talk to girls and would go and talk to them to start a conversation. However, there are times when I see these really beautiful women and I get stuck. i would just stare at them and they stare back at me like they are interested in me, but I don't do anything.

 

I hope you will get pass this stage like what I am going through. :lmao:

[Ross_K]

Sounds like you're loveshy, you may have social anxiety.

[ConfidentBoy]

The thing about a love life is that it's never planned. You get the best things when you're least looking for them. Therefore if you're the kind of person, which you may be, who likes to have things scheduled, this will be a disadvantage.

 

You just have to set your mind a certain way when you wake up every morning. Think the following thoughts (doesn't matter if they're true or not):

 

I am young and attractive

I get lots of sex and although I'm an opportunist who could always enjoy a bit more, I'm not desperate ... if something happens it happens

 

...and the other thing to bear in mind is that you're only young once. The time will come, in at least a couple of decades, when the kind of quantity and quality of opportunities will get a lot thinner and will remind you of the days when you could've had it all. You'll look back and think "it could have been so easy back then ... I even had stunning women holding gates open for me and expecting me to talk to them, wanting me to take them to bed ... doh!"

 

Wake up to opportunities. Good luck