Update Again..need Input

[fjk82]

you know what it is..

 

it really kills me that i can't be there for him during the most diffcult time in his life...i was his support system for 4yrs then 2months after i break up with him his mom dies and i couldn't help him..that tears me apart so so much..and it also kills me to know that i was being selfish w/ the calling and crying messages before begging for him back when hes tryin to deal with the loss of his mother..i hate myself for it..all i want him to know is im here for him..and i do want to talk to him about it i really really do..all i was being was totally selfish and i cant take that back. i havent called him in over a month now..i just want to be there for him and i have ruined all of that bc of the way i was acting months ago with the cryin voice mails and emails but i havent done that in over a month..but i cant take that back and im sure thats all he remembers. i dnt want him to look back and be like wow my mom died and this is how she acted? i know i cant take it back but how do i fix it..what can i do to let him know im there for him and how sorry i am this is happening..i sent flowers to the viewing when she passed away and like 3 weeks ago i had sent a beautiful card to him and his father..it had a beautiful message n it.li wrote nothing other then ALWAYS THINKING OF YOU BOTH-then my name..i just want him to know that im there for him..and how sorry i am..and im here for him..but ive ruined it..bc i was cryin to him hw much i missed n loved him etc..what the hell was i thinking...i hate myself for it and i can't take it back and now that is what he remembers...and that really isn't me...

[fjk82]

and also he makes it very clear like the emails he had sent me saying he wants me to move on..he doesnt want to get back together..he flat out says it but for some reason in my messed up mind i feel like we were different and i know so so so many people say that but for real u guys..we really were...i keep thinking he will change his mind..how cant he be with me...this is just the worse..he flat out has told me to move on before..

[Ukwizard]

..and it also kills me to know that i was being selfish w/ the calling and crying messages before begging for him back when hes tryin to deal with the loss of his mother..i hate myself for it..all i want him to know is im here for him..and i do want to talk to him about it i really really do..all i was being was totally selfish and i cant take that back.

Oh dear Fjk. You`re still beating yourself up about this. I know how you feel. You`re still looking for answers, and you want him back NOW! You talk exactly like I did back 11 months ago.

 

I hope you don`t talk like this to your friends, and family. In fact, and don`t get me wrong about this, and pardon me for mentioning this. Reading your last couple of posts there has been nothing, or any ideas what you are going to do to get him back.

 

and also he makes it very clear like the emails he had sent me saying he wants me to move on..he doesnt want to get back together.

I mean just read that quote. That is the exact same thing you told us weeks ago. Tell us something we don`t know!! You are still focusing on being back together. That`s not going to work is it!? You have to have a strategy, plan, pre-emptive strike to get him back.

 

In fact, I need to mention, I ve asked a couple of questions, and gave you some of my opinions, and I have had no response back. No feedback, and no civilised debate. Maybe you need to move on, because for now, you have nothing on your agenda, but getting your ex back!!

 

Well, okay thats fair enough, but stop talking around in circles. You`re just "chasing your tail".

 

What plan to you have next? (Thats a question for you to answer)

[fjk82]

i know and im sorry everyone...i really am...

i was talking this way to my family and friends and i have stopped..because it gets no where and its not fair to them..so for now i keep it inside..and talk on here..im sorry to always repeat myself..im normally always busy..i have a full schdule and i try to keep it that way as much as i can..i work 9am-6pm monday thru friday..after work i do dinner with friends..go riding on my sports bike..walk the beach..i need to start going to the gym..lol...weekends im out and about doing different things..but right now im trying to save money to pay off debt so not going out as much as id like to..i dont really have a plan on action UK..i mean u guys on here tell me not to contact him so im trying my best not to and so far so good..so how am i to think on a plan..? its not a secret i want this man back n my life more then anything but how do i do it..i dont know? i guess give it time..but how much time does one need? its been since april since we broke up and june since his mom passed..right now i take my life day by day..its very very scarey..and i dont know where its leading

[fjk82]

ISLAND..Make sure u get caught up on everything..Ive posted like 4 posts today/tonight...

 

 

I guess Its bothering me bc I really want to email him or give him a call and leave a nice message for him..I feel like maybe I ruined everything bc I was kinda drunk and could have handled the situation better when I saw him..I keep thinking I looked horrible since Ive gained some weight since I left him and it had been raining all night so my hair was wet..I dunno I know I shouldn't be beating myself up about this but its hard..I can't help it..I guess Im having a hard time understanding why it would be so horrible to email or call him one time but on the other hand I guess I need to stay away from him..But its just so damn hard..This can't be the end..It just can't..

Im going to go to bed now..Good night all.. <3

[Ukwizard]

im sorry to always repeat myself..im normally always busy..i have a full schdule and i try to keep it that way as much as i can..i work 9am-6pm monday thru friday..

 

Hey, Fjk. There`s no need to apologise. At least you know from the bottom of your heart that you still love this man. I think you still haven`t got over the grieving stage yet. When I lost my ex, I went mad too! I kept on thinking about her. Time does make things better.

 

im normally always busy..i have a full schdule and i try to keep it that way as much as i can..i work 9am-6pm monday thru friday..after work i do dinner with friends..go riding on my sports bike..walk the beach..i need to start going to the gym..lol...weekends im out and about doing different things..but right now im trying to save money to pay off debt so not going out as much as id like to.

 

You sound like, you have a plan to me! Lol:p Even saving money to pay off debt is a plan to make you a better person, and stricter in your finances.

 

i dont really have a plan on action UK..i mean u guys on here tell me not to contact him so im trying my best not to and so far so good..so how am i to think on a plan..? its not a secret i want this man back n my life more then anything but how do i do it..i dont know? i guess give it time..but how much time does one need? its been since april since we broke up and june since his mom passed..right now i take my life day by day..its very very scarey..and i dont know where its leading

 

No contact is part of a plan. I m not sure if you`ve taken in any of my posts, but I did mention after 4 months of RC. I texted my ex one day and she replied instantly! I m not sure where life will lead too. I m not sure if I will get her back. I m still on the look out for another girlfriend that superceeds my ex. I have to do this because part of me tells me my ex might not ever come back. Ever! If I get her back then that would be fantastic. If I find someone else better than her, then all the better. Thats my plan, so I hope it will be a win, win situation.

 

I dunno I know I shouldn't be beating myself up about this but its hard..I can't help it..I guess Im having a hard time understanding why it would be so horrible to email or call him one time but on the other hand I guess I need to stay away from him.

 

NC (No contact) or (reduced contact) thats up to you. Just don`t contact him too much, or it will drive him away to the opposite direction. I m not totally advocating NC here. I did say, send him light hearted things. Jokes, funny email attachments, or photographs. I know from my experience when I sent some "lets get back togther", or "what went wrong" emails to my ex. Sure enough my ex read them, but months down the line she deleted them! She`s only kept the jokes, and funny emails I send her. In fact when I do send her updates, of what I m up to. She keeps them too. Some ex`s just don`t want to be reminded of the past. If he`s hurting, and you send him an email that has the slightest hint of getting back. That will bring all the bad memories of you having left one day flooding back.

 

My plan is to be the man who is fun to be with, a bundle of laughs, and easy to talk to. If you read my threads way back from Oct 2005. I was nothing, but a complete wreck of a man who only wanted his ex back. I was very much like you. I chased after my ex. I emailed her, texted her, and phoned. I believe looking back now. I did everything wrong. I sounded desparate, and needy.

 

When I gained access to her emails. I found one boyfriend disappeared for 6 months, and also went to do some kind of course, and he emailed her. My ex emailed him immediately! Why? Its because he didn`t pester her. No one likes a nuisance. Contact him if you must but, don`t do it too persistantly. If he doesn`t reply to your email, then don`t write one back until he responds.

 

But its just so damn hard..This can't be the end..It just can't..

 

Yes! Be strong!! This is certainly NOT the end. You can`t give up hope, but don`t stop everything in your life for him. You do have an action plan. Stick to it. Life is not like a road. We don`t drive in straight lines. There are bends, kinks, and pot holes we have to avoid to reach our destination. Maybe your not driving right now, but with the correct attitude, and plan. You won`t be the passenger no more, but the driver. Thats the beauty of life. We just don`t know whats going to happen in the future.

[Ukwizard]

Oh, need to ask you this Fjk. Tell us more about your ex. Your relationship. I mean 4 years is a hell of a long time.

 

Did you have 4 years of romantical bliss?

 

Has he communicated to you WHY he doesn`t want you back?

 

Why did you leave in the first place? (Please don`t answer you didnt like the are because that`s not true)

 

Have you spoke to his parents?

 

Do you have any contact with his friends?

[Island Girl]

Most men prefer an extra 5 or 10 pounds than a girl who is 'perfect' or too skinny.

 

Wet is ALWAYS sexy.

 

And a lot of people get drunk -- anything that is said or done is taken a little lighter because of that. Most people have gotten drunk at some point and have had embarassing moments, said too much to someone about feelings, etc.

 

So was that the last straw? If it was - that wasn't the moment. So if you felt like you had a chance before that - you still do.

 

BUT NOT NOW.

 

NOT while you are still stuck. When you are 'up and moving around' we'll talk. It is going to be a little while. How long? Well, how long is it going to take to be you again? Because it'll be after that.

 

So relax. Just stop and take a deep breath.

 

Have you read the posts on the getting some1 back thread? If not, you need to. Read them over and over. You are doing great. Doing NOTHING is the right thing.

 

You don't want to be clingy and weak. You are strong. You've already gone a week. NC. That is great. Take it up a notch.

 

You were the dumper but the chain of events have flpiied you into the dumpee. At least you are in your reaction to things and your actions right now.

 

There will be no plan until you are 100%. If your weight is bothering you -- then hell yes go to the gym. Get the endorphin rush - You'll feel better.

Anything that helps you feel better about yourself needs to be worked into the agenda.

 

I understand you are venting here. That is great you have to have somewhere to pour these thoughts out of your head. But none of the self-depreciating stuff, okay? Don't beat yourself up here. -- Don't do that anywhere. Catch yourself before the fall. Work on making yourself better everyday.

[Island Girl]

it really kills me that i can't be there for him during the most diffcult time in his life...i was his support system for 4yrs then 2months after i break up with him his mom dies and i couldn't help him..that tears me apart so so much..and it also kills me to know that i was being selfish w/ the calling and crying messages before begging for him back when hes tryin to deal with the loss of his mother

 

Tough pone for sure. But don't hate yourself for it.

 

Just don't do it again.

 

And contacting him now would be doing it again.

 

 

im sure thats all he remembers. i dnt want him to look back and be like wow my mom died and this is how she acted?

 

He remembers more than that. Really, 4 years of history. This is not all he remembers. It is the freshest - but that is why you are letting it fade. At least it is fading for him. You are keeping it alive and well. So start letting it fade for you too.

 

how do i fix it..what can i do to let him know im there for him and how sorry i am this is happening.

 

How do you fix it?

 

You don't. You fix you. That is the problem solver right there.

 

Give him space and time to get some normalcy back in his life and give yourself time and space to rebuild and regroup.

[fjk82]

Okayy Im going to try to sum this up as short as possible UK..

 

We were together for 4yrs..We met when I was lyin out at the pool one day and he was there with friends BBQ'g..It was so cute how we met..Long story short we were talking and he asked when he could see me again and I asked when he wanted to and he said tomorrow..So we hung out the next day and from then on we were UNSEPERABLE!! It was like we knew one another for years..It was beautiful..Well he had been in a 4yr r-ship before me with a women named Kirsty. This girl had no family no nothing and her family was basically Adams family..So when they broke up she was ALWAYS trying to talk to him and he wasnt having it especially after he met me but she was ALWAYS talking with his parents and his parents ALWAYS WANTED HIM BACK WITH HER..Alyways..They loved his X like a daughter and it caused major problems with me and his family bc his mom always made it VERY clear she didn't like me and always wanted Kristy back..I mean the women would leave photos of him and his x around the house and say things to me it was horrible..something i never experienced before n my life and it really really hurt adam bad..it also made me very insecure about us bc i was afraid but he would always tell me if i wanted her back id go..that it wasn't a adult r-ship that hes grown up now and im his adult life and the loveof his life, etc..and i believed him bc he never gave me any reason not to..ever..and his parents were so bad at one point they told him he had to choose between me or them and he was n tears and choose me and 5months went by that he didn't talk to his family..his famiy wasnt normal.im a very likeable person and never experienced that before but he told me how diffcult his mom had been his entire life..anyways..our rship was wonderful we basically moved in together right away and it was great..we got a cat and all that fun stuff we made out own lil family..i was always tryin to be a part of his parents lives but the mom made it clear she hated me..he would fight for me all the time and tell them they never gave me a chance but it was hopeless..then after 2yrs of being together in PA he had the chance to open up a restaurant down in FL with his best friend and we took it! !we were so excited..i mean we didd EVERYTHING together..the only time we were apart was when we were in class(college) or work..came home and did dinner together every night..we were home bodies..very very close..always took trips we had everything in common..it was beautiful...so we move to FL together and we were so so excited..we always talked about marriage and stuff but once we got to FL and we were here for a lil while i kinda started to change..i was afraid of "marriage" i was scared that i was to young, etc and i never really experienced dating, etc..he was only my 2nd real long term r-ship..our sex life had always been healthy but during this time i started to feel NON sexual and it hurt him a lot..this man did everything for me..he loved me more then himself..so toward the end our restaurant wasnt doing good and was about to close. down..his father asked him to take over the family business and we would have to live with his parents for awhile until we saved money for a house up in PA..this made me freak bc of the way the mom always was with me..they would come down to FL alll the time to visit and we always got along but u could tell there was always tenstion there always..and they still always had talked to his X even years later..so he begged me for so long to go to pa...finally i told him to go without me to make sure its what he wanted to do..he only agreed to it if he bought me a plane ticket to come to PA for a week visit 1 week after he would go. so we did that..we never broke up during this time..well i flew up the following week and i felt uncomfortable as always with his family and it would have been horrible if i had to live with them especially with adam always being at work and they live in the totally woods with nothing to do or go to..adam begged me every second of every day to come up there and i told him there was many things in fl we had to take care of and i couldn't just up and leave..plus we were still n our lease..so finally he couldnt take it anymore and i went to PA on march 1st..his parents were rude to me as always..acted as though i wasn't even there..his mom never spoke to me and when i tried she would answer and that was that..it was horrible..but itwasn't my fault or adams..that was the way they were and i knew that for 4yrs..well i couldn't take it anymore..and thats when i left..adam would talk to my family about marrying me and his friends i remember one night before i went to PA we were sitting with his best friend bobby and out of no where he goes bobby i love this women more then anything in this world id die with out her..and bobby goes i know..it was beautiful bc i knew he ment every word..

he did everything to keep us together and i choose to break us apart..ever since i got my stuff its like he turned emotionless and black inside..then his mother died so in a period of 2months he lost the 2 most important women in his life..i only found out his mom died bc his best friends wife called and told me..adam wouldnt take my calls but all of his friends who were there iwth him talked to me and i wanted to fly up there right away to be there for him and to go to the viewing...well finally adam told his best friend to tell me even though he appeciates it its best that i dont come..so i didnt'......but later i find out that his X kristy came to the viewing...i got so afraid and jealous and insecure that she was there that he wanted her there instead of me but then i had to remember the relationship she had with his mother and how close they were..and i really believe that he didn't love her the way he loved me..i really do....anyways thats that in a nut shell..if u have any questions just ask and ill tell..its hard to explain how close we were and how much he loved me..its impossible to explain to anyone..

[fjk82]

i mean we even had our own lil language we made up together lol we were always laughing and smiling and just being plan silly together all of the time..we knew eachother better then anyone in the entire world..we were beyond comfortable with one another and it was like that from day 1..we always had our little language and our faces just so so much..

[fjk82]

but also..the pain i put him thru during those few months where i stayed in fl and he was in pa waiting and begging for me to get my butt up there..i hurt him more then words can describe..and i know he had a lot of anger toward me for that because he was paying all of my bills during that time and then he moved alllll of our stuff from fl to pa and then i FINALLY get up there and only stay for a month then i leave him..he has so much anger toward me for that and i understand why he would..but i wasnt in my right mind at all..i really wasnt..i see it now but its to late..i hurt him so damn much by doing that..and not being there for him..he doesnt give me a reason as to why he doesnt want me back all he says is everything happens for a reason..and he thinks that what happend just happend..but i dont see or believe how ones feelings can change just like that..but hes also very strong minded..if he puts his mind to blocking me out and not wanting to be with me again he will do it..i broke his heart..so so bad..no wonder he doesnt want to give me another chance...he did everything and i do mean everything in his power to keep us together and i broke it..i destroyed him....then his mom died..could this be any worse...im really not that horrible person i was being during that time he was in pa and i refuse to go..im really not..im a great women i just made the worst mistake and i was making those mistakes with every day that passed by that i choose to stay n fl i think a part of me was hoping he would break down and decide to leave pa but he did the right thing ..god this is horrible...no wonder he doesnt want me back..

[daphne]

You exploited your power over him and were willing to hurt him out of selfishness. THe only thing you can do is learn from this and realize that someone can walk away, even if you think they worship you. That you need to be good to those who are good to you. Taking someone for granted is waht most often ends relationships.

 

I know it hurts, but everyone makes a mistake like this at some point in their lives. It's better to do it early when the stakes aren't that high. To ensure you don't do it when it really counts.

[Ukwizard]

Hmmm! I can`t help, but think there is a third party involved in all of this. Its all bad timing too!

 

Please don`t quote me on this, but maybe Adam`s ex is influencing him! She`s also trying to get him back too. Maybe she`s winning, because your persistancy drove them together. She`s got the advantage of being over there, and winning over his friends, and family. All the previous persistancy has made you look like the mad ex that doesn`t go away. So what you are doing with NC in the meantime is good. Keep up the good work Fjk!

 

My own personal opinion is due to his mother`s death thats possibily whats causing the pair of you to not get back together. Maybe there is an underlying cause which caused his mother to disliked you. People don`t dislike someone without a reason. Did you ever argue? Did you respect his mother?

 

The fact is that his mother disliked you. Maybe behind your back, or in the side lines, she told Adam that she disapproved of you. When you left, that just backed up what his mother had said all along. Maybe she told him never to take you back, then passed away, and he`s kept her dying wish.

 

Did you show you how uneasy you were around his mother. Tge fact that you send him a card for his mother may not have been a good idea, if the two of you didn`t get a long. The fact that he asked you to stay away for the viewing is another indication how strong an influence his mother had on him, or others.

 

I m glad you wrote most of your story out. It sounds like he`s very vulnerable just now.

 

Be strong Fjk. I m surprised you can communicate why you left PA in the first place to us, and not your ex. . It doesn`t sound like its anything to do with your ex. It was his parents. Have you communicated that to him?

 

P.s Please write in paragraphs. It makes it easier to read

[fjk82]

UK--

 

Please dont scare me with the thought of his XX girlfriend....i really believe n my heart that he could have went back to her and it would have made his live a lot easier to deal with with us parents if he did but he chose me and always defended me..i was always very good to his family and he knew that trust me and he knew it wasnt me it was them..they were not normal and that was something he had delt with his entire life..trust me hes not proud of it..but i really believe hes not in the right state of mind to be dating anyone and i would pray to god he wouldnt be back with kirsty or listen to her at all..i really choose to believe ever word he said to me about not loving her like he did me etc bc he never gave me any reason not to...now this is all im goin to think about...im freaking..i need him back dammit...god..it hurts..but im being strong..i dont know what to think anymore..

[dr strangelove]

Where to begin

 

First see, unless you are willing to pay for a private jet plane on standby 24hrs a day to fly him to whatever state you are in and back, what you have to think about is.......

 

"suspenseful pause"

 

Moving back to where he is. If you are not..well, im sure you can figure it out.

 

You move back you can show up where he is..wearing what ever sexy clothing to make him drool etc..

 

And thats its really.. try and look at the big picture.. not the small one.

[Island Girl]

fjk82

 

He isn't dating anyone. I am familiar with that -- I was usually dating someone else after my break-ups. Always had 1 or 2 waiting in the wings.

 

He doesn't give me that vibe.

 

He seems really level headed. Down to Earth. Hard working. -- He doesn't seem flighty or needy.

 

He just has a lot going on.

 

You were going over board with the emotion. He is just taking a step back from anything else he has to "deal with".

 

You'll be fine. You're doing really well. Really.

 

I don't know how this is going to translate - but why was I so good at getting guys back after I wrecked them? I really didn't care. I didn't have that panic -- the "OMG I have to set my life right" feeling.

 

That is the secret. That flipped out insecure crying all the time feeling that causes people to chase chase chase which translates to push push push.

 

It was easy for me to go NC - I'd dump them they'd panic. The more they pushed the meaner I got.

 

Most girls don't last -- maybe most guys too - but they end up making all of the most horrible mistakes because they don't control themselves.

 

You are doing GREAT at the NC. Don't slip. Just work on getting you right. That is all he is doing. Both of you are taking a much needed time out.

 

The family would have been difficult for you to live with and stay with. I'm glad he knows that was the most influencial reason.

 

You can't change the past - but you can change the future. Not by hope but by plan so develope your plan for yourself now. How to get back on track - mind body and soul. All of them need nourishment.

[fjk82]

ISLAND--

Im at work so this is going to be short until I can type tonight @ home..But I was curious..Did you read ALLL the posts from last night? The long long long one I wrote and a few short after that? Im not sure if you did because I figured u would have had a lot to say about it ..lol..

 

Hope you guys are all having a great day today!

 

And Ill write more later when Im home

[fjk82]

I was going thru my email account today and I came across an email that Adam had sent to me in April..1 day before i got my stuff and left him..it made me so sad..how does someones feelings change so much..when hes talkin about the part where ive missed u for months is when i stayed in FL and he went to PA to make sure he wanted that job and he was begging me day n and day out to get my butt up there and i kept pushing it back until i finally went in march...thought id share his email with you all..to maybe understand that he really did love me so much and how i ruined all chance for a future with him..

 

 

[FONT=Courier New]I am sitting here crying fallon. I can't believe that you think I have no emotion. This is the deepest hurt i have ever felt. I am trying to imagine what it will be like to not talk to you every day and call you baby. It hurts so bad. You don't know what I've been through and how much I cry thinking about you. I don't know what to do. I tried so hard fallon to stop this relationship from ending even after you choose to separate us. I did a very noble and understandable thing by taking this job and it has not been easy and I truly hope that you appriciate everything that I 've done. You tell me one thing but your actions show something different. I've begged you to do this for me for months with the false hope that we will be together again and you just keep letting me down. I know that once we get through the hardships know that we will be happy . We could get a house and a dog and be happy to be with eachother, but I guess we will never know.I know that you don't want to be here fallon, but it is really not fair for you to ask me to give something like this up. A woman is suppose to support their man and make him feel good about himself. And I have been willing to make an unbelieveable effort to make you happy. What you have been doing is so disrespectful and irreasponsible. Why fallon why can't you be their for me. You let me bring everything up here, you let me pay all your bills, you told me you would do this for me. It sounds like I have no emotion because I have no hope left. I am just a sad broken man. Just because I wanted to do something to help our future and better myself, I lose my girlfriend. I've missed you so bad it hurts for months. Why do you want to make me give up this opportunity. Why can't you be happy for me after all I've been through. I'm going to be 27 years old fallon I need to be an adult and think about the future. I know I can make you happy. Can I give you any more fallon? I don't think you relize what you are doing and I know you will feel nothing but regret. Can it even possibly be repaired or do we have no choice but to end this. I want you to be the woman that I know that you can be, but I can't do it for you. We have fallen apart and I am so sad fallon. If I have any hope at this point I would only be causing myself more pain. I miss you so much fallon and I miss oreo. All i've done is miss you and you are gone [/FONT]

[fjk82]

island make sure u read the past 3 threads...

 

i was sittin here thinking..remember that email he sent to me before i flew up to pa a few weeks ago sayin he wants to talk to me as long as i promise not to talk about the r-ship..well i NEVER wrote him back to that..i know i need to keep NC but i was thinkin maybe send him an email seeing how hes doing and his dad..just to check in and tell him that i promise not to bring it up because island i really wont...

[Ssheena]

It's going to be hard but delete all the emails and any mention of him in any emails that you sent to anyone.

Don't re-read them and re-live the feelings. Right now, he doesn't feel that way anymore about you.

The only thing you can do to be true to yourself is tell him how you feel, tell him what you want, apologize if you are sorry for whatever it is (not moving, whatever), tell him you believe in him and let him know you are there for him.

No matter how much you try, you can not make someone love you. If you want a chance with him, just chill out and do the no contact thing.

I have deleted all my old emails sent and received, all my old chats, gotten rid of my myspace account and when I find myself starting to think about checking around to see what he is up to remind myself how much it's going to hurt when I see something like - he's single and looking for someone to date.

Take it one day at a time.

He's had a heck of a few months. Give him some time and space and no drama.

Write him emails but don't send them, write postings here but give him some room.

After you have told him how you feel etc..from above .. the ball will be in his court. He may chose to return it to you or he may not want to play anymore.

You can say to yourself, I did everything possible and I let him know what I wanted, how I feel about him etc. and if he isn't interested he isn't.

just my 02.cents

[fjk82]

ISLAND..

Where ya at girl? lol I was very anxious to read ur posts this morning from my stuff posted all day yesterday but I didn't have anything, lol..

 

Anyways Im kinda proud of myself right now..I was at work a lil bit ago and I just said screw it Im goin to email him something short n sweet sayin it was nice seein him etc..Well I was typin it..Then I stopped and lookied at it and rembered everyones words on here and I deleated it and never sent it..That is a big step for me...Hope everyone is well today!

[Ssheena]

That's the first step! Write if you want but DO NOT send the emails. Then delete them. Or what the heck, save them for a week or a month and then reread them (but still don't send them).

 

Your time, your thoughts, your emotions are way too valuable to be spent on him. Spend them on YOU!

 

Way to go! I know it's hard to stop yourself from doing stuff like that but you did it.

 

Have a great day! Be proud of yourself!

[Island Girl]

ISLAND..

Where ya at girl? lol I was very anxious to read ur posts this morning from my stuff posted all day yesterday but I didn't have anything, lol..

 

Anyways Im kinda proud of myself right now..I was at work a lil bit ago and I just said screw it Im goin to email him something short n sweet sayin it was nice seein him etc..Well I was typin it..Then I stopped and lookied at it and rembered everyones words on here and I deleated it and never sent it..That is a big step for me...Hope everyone is well today!

 

 

:bunny: :bunny: :bunny: :bunny: :bunny: <if LS had sound they'd be clapping!>

 

FANTASTIC! Stay on track! You are doing great and don't you feel great?!!

 

Soooo I work at 5am and I am normally a night owl so all week I exhausted myself staying up late. I fell asleep on the sofa for about 3 hrs and lost my routine.

 

I have cut the sections you wanted me to read so I could space them out and read it all better to be able to reply back in detail as you'd asked.

 

I'll do it when I get home from work!

[fjk82]

Thank you guys very much!

 

Island..Thanks for taking the time to detail it all out lol..You have lots to answer to haha..I was curious to see what you had to say about some of the backround I spoke of with my r-ship and then I was very interested to see what you felt after readin that email that I put on here that adam had sent to me the day before i left him..u can feel the pain and hurt in that email he wrote and i dont understand how someones feelings can go from that strong to nothing now over a period of almost 6months but then again his mom died in the mist of all of this..but even before she passed he was telling me no..anyways thanks everyone for taking ur time to follow my story..means the world to me..and island im very anxious to see your insight to all that..

and yes i do feel good..

still miss him but i feel ok lol