How can I let it go?

[yourshawty_69]

I want to thank you all for taking the time in reading this...

 

When I was younger, my father use to abuse my Mother.. Not only physically...But mentally. Around the age of seven, he had started abusing not only me, but my brother and two sister's as well. As we got older, it had gotten worse.

 

He was heavily into drugs and alcohol, stealing from us and we would constantly move within a matter of months from one place to the next. There would be times where he would not come home for weeks at a time and it was us children who watched her cry.

 

At the age of thirteen, we began to fight back and after years of retaliation, he finally began to back off on the violence. Yet, my brother seems to be following in his footsteps.

 

It's not just him, but my sister's and I are all short tempered and I hold a hatred for him like no other.

 

How could I forgive someone like that? What am I to do? I still cry at night, I still have nightmares and they just dont seem to want to go away.

[alphamale]

How could I forgive someone like that? What am I to do? I still cry at night, I still have nightmares and they just dont seem to want to go away.

that is such a sad story...i am weeping on my laptop's keyboard. You really cannot forgive his actions but you can try to make yourself the best person you can and not follow in his footsteps.

[Pyro]

I want to thank you all for taking the time in reading this...

 

When I was younger, my father use to abuse my Mother.. Not only physically...But mentally. Around the age of seven, he had started abusing not only me, but my brother and two sister's as well. As we got older, it had gotten worse.

 

He was heavily into drugs and alcohol, stealing from us and we would constantly move within a matter of months from one place to the next. There would be times where he would not come home for weeks at a time and it was us children who watched her cry.

 

At the age of thirteen, we began to fight back and after years of retaliation, he finally began to back off on the violence. Yet, my brother seems to be following in his footsteps.

 

It's not just him, but my sister's and I are all short tempered and I hold a hatred for him like no other.

 

How could I forgive someone like that? What am I to do? I still cry at night, I still have nightmares and they just dont seem to want to go away.

 

Wow, that is a sad story. I am so sorry for what you had to witness and what you had to go through and still are going through. It sucks because alot of the behavior that you saw your parents do as a child, those behavior patterns were implanted in your head and that is why you have a temper now. Have you considered therapy? There are a selection of books that you can read as well. I can imagine it being very difficult to ever forgive someone like that. I would look at your father in a way to remind you and to motivate you to improve yourself for the better and to never sink to his level.

[yourshawty_69]

I do try, it seems hard at times. As of now, he acts like it never happened as if he had been the perfect father and now... He is beginning to return to his old ways.

 

There are days when he will come home so drunk that I have to drag him in the house... It is a constant reminder of when I was younger, crying as I struggled to keep him standing. My brother is now facing charges and he throws random fits. I'm afraid that he is emotionally scarred and that he knows no other way to show it then violence.

[Pyro]

I do try, it seems hard at times. As of now, he acts like it never happened as if he had been the perfect father and now... He is beginning to return to his old ways.

 

There are days when he will come home so drunk that I have to drag him in the house... It is a constant reminder of when I was younger, crying as I struggled to keep him standing. My brother is now facing charges and he throws random fits. I'm afraid that he is emotionally scarred and that he knows no other way to show it then violence.

 

 

If he is still continuing to act in those ways, then I can't see him improving. Its probably better to get yourself and the rest of the family away from him. Its obvious that your father needs some help.

[yourshawty_69]

That in itself is hard. My mother is disabled and my sister's and brother are under the age of eighteen. I have a job and I am currently attending classes for my G.E.D... There could be no way that I can support them, no matter how much I wish too.

 

There was a time we left and spent three months in a safe home and when we did get a place to live... The courts gave my Father the address to where we lived, claiming that he had rights to see his children... Even though we wanted nothing to do with him.

 

We are broke.. He makes 1,100.00 a week and he travels, seeing as he is a boiler maker and yet, he has sent us no money. My mother believes he is getting into his drugs again.. Or cheating. She knows that he has been to the bars while he is out of state.

 

Therapy is expensive, more then what we can afford.

[Pyro]

That in itself is hard. My mother is disabled and my sister's and brother are under the age of eighteen. I have a job and I am currently attending classes for my G.E.D... There could be no way that I can support them, no matter how much I wish too.

 

There was a time we left and spent three months in a safe home and when we did get a place to live... The courts gave my Father the address to where we lived, claiming that he had rights to see his children... Even though we wanted nothing to do with him.

 

We are broke.. He makes 1,100.00 a week and he travels, seeing as he is a boiler maker and yet, he has sent us no money. My mother believes he is getting into his drugs again.. Or cheating. She knows that he has been to the bars while he is out of state.

 

Therapy is expensive, more then what we can afford.

 

They do have therapy for low-income individuals. You just need to find them. I understand that his check is what all of you survive on, but if his behavior keeps up, there may not be much of your family left. Couldn't all of you stay with some relatives? You have got to do something. Your father is dangerous.

[yourshawty_69]

Family? No, my Father's side of the family disowned him when he was nineteen and as for my Mother's side... They want nothing more to do with her or us after what he put them through when we left him once before.

 

They washed their hands clean of her and refused it when she asked the last time.

[Pyro]

Family? No, my Father's side of the family disowned him when he was nineteen and as for my Mother's side... They want nothing more to do with her or us after what he put them through when we left him once before.

 

They washed their hands clean of her and refused it when she asked the last time.

 

As being the oldest and the "man" of the house, it is your job to protect your family. He needs help and your family should not be exposed anymore to him. You need to call child protective services on him and if you can't go to family, then a foster home seems like your only option. At least there no abuse will go on and you all get a second chance.

[yourshawty_69]

I am a woman... I'm hoping that once I get my G.E.D and attend college I can get a job that pays well enough to support them... The only problem with that is... It takes time. If I were to call protective services.. Do you think they would give the three back to me once I finished school and got everything straightened?

[yourshawty_69]

Alright, I am exhausted... Lack of sleep and talking about this is well, I'm crying... It takes alot out of a person and I have to be up by 10... Thank you for your advice, I will call tomarrow and attempt to work out something. I do not want my family seperated... I do not include my father as Family.. But I love my brother, Sister's, and mother very much and i dont know what I would do without them.

[mental_traveller]

I can't offer more than general advice, not having been in that situation. All I will say is that toxic situations like that, you are probably best off extricating yourself as fast and as far as possible. Would you consider just moving far away to another place and starting a new life by yourself? They are your family but at some point you have to look out for #1.

[yourshawty_69]

I could never leave my family behind. I almost feel like their protector in a sort of way. If I was to just run, who would be there to watch over them? No worries though, my Mother has gotten her hands on Antibuse. If he was to drink now, he would become very ill. I thought you all would like to know that.. If anything changes, you will likely see about it on here. Thank you for your advice and concerns. I appreciate them both.