Am I just mean?

[Raleuse]

I keep hurting my friend. I should know better but I can't seem to help it, when I hurt inside I hurt him too and it's damn selfish. He does the same mind you but he doesn't realise and it's not an excuse anyway.

 

Yesterday he was a bit off-colour. Had a terrible headache. There was a gang of youngsters up the road and he had already told me before he didn't want them to see us together as they talk and spread rumours and yesterday he just left without saying properly good-bye leaving me hurt and humiliated that he would actually be ashamed of me. I texed him later to say that but he answered he was just tired and not thinking straight.

 

Still it kept me up at night. We had a thing together last month then decided to stay friends with benefits (he pretty much friendzoned me) but if he can't even face up to being my friend, I don't know... Doesn't feel good.

 

This morning (I drive him to college on my way to work) I tried not to say anything unless he brought it up. He was still not feeling well - actually felt sick - but asked me why I looked so angry so I just let it all out. He was gobsmacked, muttered something about my getting it all wrong then just did not say a word anymore. I could see he was pretty hurt.

 

Why, oh why do I keep hurting the people I love just because of my own insecurities? I hate myself. Needed to rant.

[hopeto]

ARE YOU SILLY OR SOMETHING???? look at your post. you said that you had something going on and it is friends with benifits. you said he made this call? not you right?? you said he said he did not want to pretty much be seen with you because rummors?? you said that you were taking him to school? humm what else do you do for him? give him money, wash his car, o sorry mistake on that one cause he uses you for the ride... do you pay his bills etc.... look I am not by no means being mean just look at the relationship and if you are ok about the being used then dont complain and if you now relize that this is pretty much what it is then do something about it. if a headache or not feeling good is an excuse to use people then I am doing it all wrong.

[Buttaflyy]

Yes Sweetie, it does sound like you're being taken for a ride. I think you need to re-evaluate your "friendship" with this guy. Sounds like he's the one doing the hurting to me and you can't even see it. Please open your eyes and don't let him take advantage of you anymore. Why would he not want to be seen with you? I bet he "friendzoned" you AFTER you guys already had sex huh?

 

BTW, I'd also take a bet that he's not hurt by any of this at all.

[Guest]

I bet he "friendzoned" you AFTER you guys already had sex huh?

 

Thank you both. The answer to the above is yes. He IS using me, isn't he? I must be silly... He's not a bad person tho. Would a good person take advantage of someone like that just because that person is a giver (I am, in friendship or in love)?