ehjmsmom Posted September 20, 2006 Share Posted September 20, 2006 My ex and I have been apart for 5yrs now, ever since I left him over his drug abuse. I found out several wks later that I was pregnant and didnt tell him. Guess that I thought that he would clean himself up and come back to me. That didnt happen, I had my little girl and just went on without him in our lives. I also had a older daughter from another deadbeat and an 5yr old with him that he never helped with at all. Things got really bad and I had to move out of town, so I called him to give him one more chance; he could have cared less, had nothing to give. So we survived, we are in a nice quiet country community, but my daughters need their father, they deserve to have him no matter how screwed up he is. Sad thing is that I still love him, no matter how screwed up he is! I sent off to Child Support Enforcement to start proceedings against him, to establish paternity of both girls and all that. My 12yr old made the comment, "but what if my dad is married to someone else?" Oh how I wish that it was possible for us to be a real family with him, but I really think that it is too late for that now. Now I am dreaming of the good old days and the good times; when I need to remember all of the crap that he put me through, the drugs, the cheating, the lies, the stealing, the fact that he did not love me enough to be honest (yeah alot of room to talk here!) and not enough to ever fight for us! I need to remember that this is for them not me, not him! But if he so much as looks at me, I will melt, I know that I still love him so much! God I am so screwed! My friends & family have to be sick of hearing about all of this, they can't understand how I can still love him. How could I hate him, when I see him everytime that I look at my children?? Help, tell me what you think! Joanne Link to post Share on other sites
Cheshire Cat Posted September 20, 2006 Share Posted September 20, 2006 So we survived, we are in a nice quiet country community, but my daughters need their father, they deserve to have him no matter how screwed up he is. Sad thing is that I still love him, no matter how screwed up he is! No offence meant, but if your ex is anything like you described him, your daughters do not really need him. You still have very strong feelings for him, and I'm sorry that the good memories of your relationship are causing you pain and confusion, but at least you have a clear picture of the real him - hopefully it's just a matter of time before you realize that you don't need him in your life either, and that you'll be actually way better without him. Good luck, stay strong and do not let a few happy memories guide your decisions. Link to post Share on other sites
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