weekend plans fell through

[confused]

Ok, so when my ex left me I came here and posted a few messages and got some great assistance and support from regulars (yes, tony, etc.), that I still see post on here. Now I've got another problem, which is equally as difficult. I've been talking with this girl for about two weeks. I've gone out on one date with her and talked to her about every other night since then. Some nights she seems very into me, interested, talking non-stop, saying how much she can't wait to see me again, and others she seems very distant, very quiet, short responses to questions, etc. I'm not totally over the ex, but I've been trying to keep myself busy so as not to think about it too much. I was supposed to have a date with this girl tonight, but when I called she cancelled saying she all of a sudden "had plans" So I don't know what to think about this girl, and my buddies went out of town this weekend but of course I stayed behind so I could go on this planned date, so I have no backup plans. So now I sit at home alone and my ex is creeping back into my thoughts. It's hard enough to keep the thoughts of her at bay when I do have stuff to do, but now I'm at a loss. What do I about this new girl, do I keep trying to see her or do I call the whole thing off since she seems so wishy washy, and I can't think of any way to stop thinking about the ex (we were together an extremely long time and had talked about getting married) Any help would be appreciated, and thank you for reading my post.

[Angel]

Don't put all your eggs in one basket. Date several women until you find the right one. This one sounds like she may or may not be interested. Ask her out a couple more times and if she gives you the cold treatment--move on.

 

I totally understand about being bummed out about not having any plans for the weekend. Go do something alone--something you enjoy--but before you go, take a bubble bath and have a glass of wine and relax. Enjoy the quiet alone time.

Ok, so when my ex left me I came here and posted a few messages and got some great assistance and support from regulars (yes, tony, etc.), that I still see post on here. Now I've got another problem, which is equally as difficult. I've been talking with this girl for about two weeks. I've gone out on one date with her and talked to her about every other night since then. Some nights she seems very into me, interested, talking non-stop, saying how much she can't wait to see me again, and others she seems very distant, very quiet, short responses to questions, etc. I'm not totally over the ex, but I've been trying to keep myself busy so as not to think about it too much. I was supposed to have a date with this girl tonight, but when I called she cancelled saying she all of a sudden "had plans" So I don't know what to think about this girl, and my buddies went out of town this weekend but of course I stayed behind so I could go on this planned date, so I have no backup plans. So now I sit at home alone and my ex is creeping back into my thoughts. It's hard enough to keep the thoughts of her at bay when I do have stuff to do, but now I'm at a loss. What do I about this new girl, do I keep trying to see her or do I call the whole thing off since she seems so wishy washy, and I can't think of any way to stop thinking about the ex (we were together an extremely long time and had talked about getting married) Any help would be appreciated, and thank you for reading my post.

[Tony T]

YOU WRITE: "I was supposed to have a date with this girl tonight, but when I called she cancelled saying she all of a sudden "had plans"

 

Yes, the above words are EXACTLY yours...from your post...copied and pasted for you to read again. Please take some time out to read them again and think about them. I'll wait...................................................................................................

 

So you had a date with her and then she cancelled because she made other plans? This is the sign of a subhuman vermin who is not fit to inhabit the planet...a scuzbag, worthless worm who gives the entire universe a bad name.

 

You need to become a man and you need to do it NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

If you have a date with a lady and she calls you at the last minute to tell you she's made other plans, unless there is an illness or death in the family or some other valid reason other than...making plans with other people...don't you DARE ever talk to this lady again from now until the end of the world...and even beyond.

 

Forget this girl now. If for some reason she calls you, ask for her address, mail her a copy of this post, and be done with her. If you have anything else to do with her, don't come running here with your problems. She a cheap wench!!!

 

Where do you find cheap stuff like this?

[confused]

I love your post Tony, I really do. You helped me through a rough time before, I was going by a different name then, but nonetheless you were the one who hooked the chain up to the car and pulled me out of the mud so to speak. The lady in question cancelled because supposedly relatives came down unexpectedly to visit that she hasn't seen in a long time. Now of course, there is no way for me to validate this so I still wonder. My gut tells me to toss her aside, but the reason (if true) does sound valid. Oh well, such is life. Thanks.

[Bill]

I'd have to agree with Tony. Other plans.. more like other guys. Someone is more important that you are in her mind.

YOU WRITE: "I was supposed to have a date with this girl tonight, but when I called she cancelled saying she all of a sudden "had plans" Yes, the above words are EXACTLY yours...from your post...copied and pasted for you to read again. Please take some time out to read them again and think about them. I'll wait...................................................................................................

 

So you had a date with her and then she cancelled because she made other plans? This is the sign of a subhuman vermin who is not fit to inhabit the planet...a scuzbag, worthless worm who gives the entire universe a bad name. You need to become a man and you need to do it NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you have a date with a lady and she calls you at the last minute to tell you she's made other plans, unless there is an illness or death in the family or some other valid reason other than...making plans with other people...don't you DARE ever talk to this lady again from now until the end of the world...and even beyond.

 

Forget this girl now. If for some reason she calls you, ask for her address, mail her a copy of this post, and be done with her. If you have anything else to do with her, don't come running here with your problems. She a cheap wench!!!

 

Where do you find cheap stuff like this?

 

[Pear]

In the same situation, I will go out with you..lol..

 

[Tony T]

Relatives that you haven't seen in a long time don't just show up on your doorstep...unless we're talking the Adams family here. These kinds of visits are planned and advanced notice is given.

 

I can unconditionally guarantee something (or more like somebody) came up at the last minute that she preferred to spend her time doing or being with.

 

Write her off. You don't need the ups and downs of her interest anyway. She's a rotten user who wants you around when there's nothing better to do.

 

If you don't get rid of her, I'll do it for you.

[confused]

haha... oh well, time to cast out the line and see if I can catch another one, huh? i love life, even the challenges can be fun if you look at it the right way.

[BeenThere]

Hey Confused,

 

My boyfriend (who also posts to this forum) and I were discussing your recent 'incident' just a few moments ago. There's no question what I would do if someone stood me up...there would be no second chance! Then again, I'm one of those hard-a$$es who don't take sh*t from anyone! But since I am female, and unaccoustomed to how difficult it can be for men since they are usually the 'persuers'; I asked "J" what HE would do if he found himself in this situation. Without pause, he almost swallowed his cigarette and said "That would be it!...No more!...Done!!" He than left for the garage, because he said..."Now I'm p*ssed!"

 

haha...hearing your story must have caused him to have one of those "flashbacks" or something...

 

Anyway, before leaving he made a real good point and I have to agree. What was even worse than her standing you up was the fact that she didn't even call! She waited until the day of when YOU called to tell you she couldn't make it. No matter how valid her excuse was, this fact alone is enough to prove she isn't worth the time of day.

 

And please, don't start dwelling too much on the "ex." Why jump from the frying pan right back into the fire. Like we women always say..."You have to kiss a lot of toads before finding your prince."

 

Stick to your plan and throw the line back in. You'll probably have to throw several more "fish" back into that swamp before finding your 'keeper'... but eventually what doesn't kill you will make you stronger.

 

Good luck with the next one! You're a bachalor -- free to test the waters -- so ENJOY your freedom and have fun!

 

Ok, so when my ex left me I came here and posted a few messages and got some great assistance and support from regulars (yes, tony, etc.), that I still see post on here. Now I've got another problem, which is equally as difficult. I've been talking with this girl for about two weeks. I've gone out on one date with her and talked to her about every other night since then. Some nights she seems very into me, interested, talking non-stop, saying how much she can't wait to see me again, and others she seems very distant, very quiet, short responses to questions, etc. I'm not totally over the ex, but I've been trying to keep myself busy so as not to think about it too much. I was supposed to have a date with this girl tonight, but when I called she cancelled saying she all of a sudden "had plans" So I don't know what to think about this girl, and my buddies went out of town this weekend but of course I stayed behind so I could go on this planned date, so I have no backup plans. So now I sit at home alone and my ex is creeping back into my thoughts. It's hard enough to keep the thoughts of her at bay when I do have stuff to do, but now I'm at a loss. What do I about this new girl, do I keep trying to see her or do I call the whole thing off since she seems so wishy washy, and I can't think of any way to stop thinking about the ex (we were together an extremely long time and had talked about getting married) Any help would be appreciated, and thank you for reading my post.

[confused]

Well it seems everyone is absolutely right. I tried to talk to her one more time since this incident and well, she's totally crazy, or she thinks I'm crazy if I'm gonna sit and listen to the crap. The sad thing is, all my friends have been egging me on since my ex left me to be a "player" which, not to be overconfident, could actually be an option for me, however I'm not like that and I never have been. I was the nice guy, the one who opens doors, always picks up the tab, sends flowers for no special occasion, etc... you get the point. But because of the ex and now this stupid crap, I'm beginning to think it might be the right thing to do. I look with distrust to all women now (not to be offensive to the ladies here, but I can't help it, you're all evil , and I've never had that attitude before. Maybe nice guys do finish last, it's always ended up crappy for me anyway.

[BeenThere]

Confused, you might not even see this since its so far down the post...but I can understand why you might have a bitter taste in your mouth concerning the "opposite sex." But just read some of the women's stories (mine included) under Anon's post entitled "A Second Chance." I think you'll see that a$$ holes run rampant on BOTH sides of the gender. The trick is to weed through all the human waste to find that one human-being who has evolved beyond the sterotype and than hang on for dear life! It's difficult, but not impossible. The problem is, those who have been fortunate enough to find decent partners who don't cheat, lie and play games...partners who are honest, trustworthy and fully devoted...loose interest quickly, get bored, because they claim these kind of people aren't a "challenge."

 

You don't have to be a 'player.' You can see as many women as you like so long as you're honest about your intentions and don't mislead them. It may mean you won't get as much "sex" from your female companions, but at least you won't be lonely either!

 

To quote Ed..."Here's to discriminating tastes!"

Well it seems everyone is absolutely right. I tried to talk to her one more time since this incident and well, she's totally crazy, or she thinks I'm crazy if I'm gonna sit and listen to the crap. The sad thing is, all my friends have been egging me on since my ex left me to be a "player" which, not to be overconfident, could actually be an option for me, however I'm not like that and I never have been. I was the nice guy, the one who opens doors, always picks up the tab, sends flowers for no special occasion, etc... you get the point. But because of the ex and now this stupid crap, I'm beginning to think it might be the right thing to do. I look with distrust to all women now (not to be offensive to the ladies here, but I can't help it, you're all evil , and I've never had that attitude before. Maybe nice guys do finish last, it's always ended up crappy for me anyway.

[Ed]

You are right. With the classic definition of "nice guy" you describe, they do finish last.

 

You don't have to stop being nice to women, just stop expecting that your niceties are going to win you a girl. I don't care how nice you are, no woman will ever owe you her loyalty just because you are "nice" to her.

 

If you like openning doors, if you like picking up the tab, if you like sending gifts for no reason at all, DO IT! But don't expect to be paid back for it in any way. Do it because you like to or because you want to, not becasue you think it will get you somewhere. Doing otherwise is generally categorized as "sucking up" or manipulation. If you are doing this, quit it!

 

Keep trying. Be nice, but don't go overboard. Just because you lay your coat down for a lady to walk on doesn't mean you have to be wearing it at the same time. Know what I mean?????

Well it seems everyone is absolutely right. I tried to talk to her one more time since this incident and well, she's totally crazy, or she thinks I'm crazy if I'm gonna sit and listen to the crap. The sad thing is, all my friends have been egging me on since my ex left me to be a "player" which, not to be overconfident, could actually be an option for me, however I'm not like that and I never have been. I was the nice guy, the one who opens doors, always picks up the tab, sends flowers for no special occasion, etc... you get the point. But because of the ex and now this stupid crap, I'm beginning to think it might be the right thing to do. I look with distrust to all women now (not to be offensive to the ladies here, but I can't help it, you're all evil , and I've never had that attitude before. Maybe nice guys do finish last, it's always ended up crappy for me anyway.