parents & friends

[yes]

Hi!

 

I'm kind of sorry for posting here so much, but lots of things happen, and i love getting your opinions about it.

 

This guy picked me up from home last night - me, him, and two of his friends were going out to play pool, etc. Well, i was upstairs when he showed up, so my mom opened the door and talked to him a bit, while i came down n put on shoes, etc. He just asked him where we were going, who else was going, what time he'd bring me back. She wasn't nice to him, but not rude either.

 

Anyway - apparently it scared the ##### outta him! He later told me he never met the parents of any of his ex's and that it was scary how my mom "interrogated" him.

 

This is the guy who claims to be into S&M, so he said he was afraid I had told my parents about his "hobby", etc.

 

The whole thing stinks, doesn't it? WHy did he get scared of my mom... what's up with not meeting his gfs' parents... etc.

 

The only time this happened before was when my friend's sister came in & my mom aksed the same Qns: where/who/what time ... But that girl was from a very disfunctional family, and i figured she's simply not used to having human conversations with parents...

 

Any comments? Isn't it reasonable of my mom to ask, esp. if it's a guy picking me up?

 

PS the reason i'm still hanging out with this bunch of guys, Tony, is i think I might like one of them ... not sure yet. he's normal though - nothing like this s&m-ist

 

-yes

[Tony T]

I guess I'm old fashioned but I feel it's not only proper but it's absolutely necessary for parents nowdays to take enough interest to ask a few questions of the guys their daughters are going out with.

 

It says something major that your mother is the very first parent he's ever met. Our society has gone haywire. We live in an age of dangers that never lurked before in history. If your guy has dated ladies who never asked him to come to their home, either he has dated really weird girls...they haven't been very serious about them...or they have been ashamed of him.

 

If I were you, I would make it a point of introducing guys to your mother so they are on notice of what they'll have to deal with if they pull any funny business with you.

 

Don't make a big deal of this. Next time he comes over, have him discuss the S&M's with your mom. She may get a kick out of that. DON'T!!!

 

Good luck with the guy you're going after.

[yes]

Thanks for your reassurance! cool.

 

i think it's good to introduce people to my folks too ... - i think i can also judge a lot from the way the behave with my parents...

 

-yes

I guess I'm old fashioned but I feel it's not only proper but it's absolutely necessary for parents nowdays to take enough interest to ask a few questions of the guys their daughters are going out with. It says something major that your mother is the very first parent he's ever met. Our society has gone haywire. We live in an age of dangers that never lurked before in history. If your guy has dated ladies who never asked him to come to their home, either he has dated really weird girls...they haven't been very serious about them...or they have been ashamed of him. If I were you, I would make it a point of introducing guys to your mother so they are on notice of what they'll have to deal with if they pull any funny business with you. Don't make a big deal of this. Next time he comes over, have him discuss the S&M's with your mom. She may get a kick out of that. DON'T!!!

 

Good luck with the guy you're going after.

 

[BeenThere]

As a mother myself, I know exactly how yours feels!...haha

 

Fortunately, my daughter is grown now so any decisions she makes concerning the people she socializes with are her responsibility. As a mother, I will continue to be concerned about her life choices and her well-being, but at least since she is now nineteen, I won't be financially or legally responsible for any mistakes she might make.

 

Perhaps until you have children of your own it will be difficult to understand, but a "mom" has almost a sixth-sense about the people in their child's life. You know, almost immediately, when your daughter or son has brought home a *friend* who is potentially "bad news." Don't you find it curious that the only two people your mother chose to question were the two who were a bit "off"...to say the least?

 

Sometimes it's a 'look,' an attitude, an air about them that isn't quite right. And perhaps it can't even be attributed to maternal instinct, but rather the fact that we've been around a lot longer than you and are better experienced at sizing up people in general.

 

And any friend that my daughter brought home that was uncomfortable with the fact that I loved my daughter enough to actually *care* about what she was doing, to question her about where she was going and who she was going with, immediately sounded the inner alarm. Without exception they always turned out to be the offspring off dysfunctional families. They had no rules, had been taught no respect or morals and even resented me for being involved in my daughter's life. And inevitably these were the same few who ended up involving my daughter in situations she would have been better off avoiding and even put her safety and life at risk.

 

Don't be too hard on Mom. Her only fault is that she loves you...a hellava lot more than any of your friends ever will! And she'll still be around to watch your back even when the jerks and losers in your life have all faded into oblivion.

 

Hi! I'm kind of sorry for posting here so much, but lots of things happen, and i love getting your opinions about it. This guy picked me up from home last night - me, him, and two of his friends were going out to play pool, etc. Well, i was upstairs when he showed up, so my mom opened the door and talked to him a bit, while i came down n put on shoes, etc. He just asked him where we were going, who else was going, what time he'd bring me back. She wasn't nice to him, but not rude either. Anyway - apparently it scared the ##### outta him! He later told me he never met the parents of any of his ex's and that it was scary how my mom "interrogated" him. This is the guy who claims to be into S&M, so he said he was afraid I had told my parents about his "hobby", etc. The whole thing stinks, doesn't it? WHy did he get scared of my mom... what's up with not meeting his gfs' parents... etc. The only time this happened before was when my friend's sister came in & my mom aksed the same Qns: where/who/what time ... But that girl was from a very disfunctional family, and i figured she's simply not used to having human conversations with parents... Any comments? Isn't it reasonable of my mom to ask, esp. if it's a guy picking me up? PS the reason i'm still hanging out with this bunch of guys, Tony, is i think I might like one of them ... not sure yet. he's normal though - nothing like this s&m-ist -yes

[velvet]

I would keep a good r/s with Mom. Maybe you can invite these guys to hang out & get to know mom. Or if you think that would be an uncomfortable idea than just reasure her that she raised a smart ladie who has learned alot from her.

 

Mom's are one the best people to get close to. I personally would rather spend a weekend with mom than to go out with my friends.

[yes]

Of course I'm keeping a good r/s with Mom.

 

That wasn't the issue at all.

 

I just wnated to confirm it's reasonable of her to ask these questions, and that my judegements of this guy based on his reaction to her questions is correct. EVen if I asked her not to ask my friend questions in future or something like that, our r/s wouldn't suffer - but i'm not planning to - she can keep asking everyone whatever she likes

 

-yes

I would keep a good r/s with Mom. Maybe you can invite these guys to hang out & get to know mom. Or if you think that would be an uncomfortable idea than just reasure her that she raised a smart ladie who has learned alot from her. Mom's are one the best people to get close to. I personally would rather spend a weekend with mom than to go out with my friends.