I'm in good spirits once again

[Mollyanna]

First of all, I met 2 friends from this site on Sunday. They made me feel good and I realized that I can make friends and need to work on that now that I am back in town.

 

D has been really really nice, calling me everyday! All the "honeys, sweeties, and baby" comments are in full effect too.

 

And today I just had a good day -

See below:

 

1. Left the client facility today, said my thanks and goodbyes, went down the hall and realized I forgot something. Went back in and no one noticed - and I got to hear them teasing one of the guys about flirting with me. haha. They said I was "kinda cute". and then he saw me. boy was the guy red! I should exit rooms and re-enter suddenly all the time. Imagine all the things I could hear!

 

 

2. Saw Flavor Flav at the airport with a big yellow clock around his neck. He was boarding a plane for Fort Lauderdale. If I wouldn't have had chili cheese dog all over my face, maybe I could have approached him and became one of his Flavor of Love contestants for next season. Just what I need - another guy who can't commit to one woman!

[loveinlife]

Hi Mollyanna,

 

Nice to hear that you are doing so well.

 

I wish you the best!

[Teacher's Pet]

First of all, I met 2 friends from this site on Sunday. They made me feel good and I realized that I can make friends and need to work on that now that I am back in town.

 

That's the spirit!! :) :)

 

D has been really really nice, calling me everyday! All the "honeys, sweeties, and baby" comments are in full effect too.

 

Absence makes the heart grow fonder, my sweet little DS. I told you things would come around for you eventually.....

 

1. Left the client facility today, said my thanks and goodbyes, went down the hall and realized I forgot something. Went back in and no one noticed - and I got to hear them teasing one of the guys about flirting with me. haha. They said I was "kinda cute". and then he saw me. boy was the guy red! I should exit rooms and re-enter suddenly all the time. Imagine all the things I could hear!

 

*thinks back to Sunday night* Whew. *evil grin*

 

2. Saw Flavor Flav at the airport with a big yellow clock around his neck. He was boarding a plane for Fort Lauderdale. If I wouldn't have had chili cheese dog all over my face, maybe I could have approached him and became one of his Flavor of Love contestants for next season. Just what I need - another guy who can't commit to one woman!

 

That is too cool. Did ya wind his watch? ha ha ha ha ha ha

 

Ok, *I* found that funny.

 

I'm just glad to see you happy again, DS. It was really breaking my heart to see you so unhappy lately. You deserve so much, and maybe it's time you get it! That goes for all of us.....

 

Off to the gym to get my "Sexy Back",

-tp

[swirly27]

First of all, I met 2 friends from this site on Sunday. They made me feel good and I realized that I can make friends and need to work on that now that I am back in town.

 

D has been really really nice, calling me everyday! All the "honeys, sweeties, and baby" comments are in full effect too.

 

And today I just had a good day -

See below:

 

1. Left the client facility today, said my thanks and goodbyes, went down the hall and realized I forgot something. Went back in and no one noticed - and I got to hear them teasing one of the guys about flirting with me. haha. They said I was "kinda cute". and then he saw me. boy was the guy red! I should exit rooms and re-enter suddenly all the time. Imagine all the things I could hear!

 

 

2. Saw Flavor Flav at the airport with a big yellow clock around his neck. He was boarding a plane for Fort Lauderdale. If I wouldn't have had chili cheese dog all over my face, maybe I could have approached him and became one of his Flavor of Love contestants for next season. Just what I need - another guy who can't commit to one woman!

 

Molly - I read your other thread, the OMG one....so I am curious, what changed with D - how did it come about that you guys seem back together? Are you officially back together? I am very happy for you though!!

[superconductor]

Congrats, Molly! Go spread the gospel about healing and getting your mojo back!

[AriaIncognito]

I hope things go well for you two. You deserve someone who will treat you well, that's for sure. Either way, we all had fun on Sunday, and I can't wait for you to be back in the area again for night 2 haha. :-) Man i haven't talked to you since sunday and I'm going through withdrawal. We must both be busy lately ;-)

 

I have to show you the pics from that night.

 

Jennifer

"FW"

[Teacher's Pet]

I can't wait for you to be back in the area again for night 2 haha. :-)

 

*grins* I wonder what evil plans we can concoct for the next time!

 

We must both be busy lately ;-)

 

Yeah Yeah Yeah.....rub it in! :( :(

 

Did I mention it's been THREE MONTHS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

 

Bah, I can wait.....*climbs walls*

 

You think my posts are long NOW? Wait till the next time I actually get some! lol lol

 

LOVE you guys.

 

Always your SB,

 

-tp (when I start getting some, the "-tp" will be capitalized!)

[Mollyanna]

No, we aren't back together. I don't know what we are. Well yeah I guess I do, I just don't want to admit it. We are friends, good friends. I just can't let go of the relationship and I don't think he has the heart to hurt me and make me go away. I was at his house all evening and he was affectionate, but when I asked him what he was doing this weekend, he mentioned a couple of things and then asked me what I would be doing. I asked him if he would want to get a few people and go dancing. We got interrupted and never finished the conversation. So when I was leaving and he had kissed me goodnight, I said "Hey, so... what about Saturday" and he just threw his hand up in the air and said "possibly, I'll have to see". And I made a face and he said "Well I have a couple of other tentative plans." I said "Alright" in my dejected voice I do so well. Then we stood in silence and for lack of nothing else to say, I said "Alright" again. and I left. He made a point of yelling out at me and making a silly face to get me to smile. But I left upset because I knew that there are at least 2 other plans that have to fall through before he can spend the evening with me...

 

And what was a good evening, suddenly turned sour. Smiling all evening, and now.... THIS... sad, lonely, nothing to look forward to this weekend, and knowing he doesn't miss me, like I miss him...

 

Damn I thought I was doing well... and a setback already.

[Pink Amulet]

Mollyanna that is fantastic news!

 

It is so wonderul to watch positive healing over time on LS.

 

I am so happy for you.

 

Good on you girly! *kiss*

[Teacher's Pet]

*bangs head against wall*

 

Doesn't this knucklehead realize what he has in you??????

 

OMG, I actually feel SORRY for D, because I know better.

 

This is like watching a movie where one of the characters is about to open a door that leads to certain doom, and you just want to bang on your TV set and yell "NO!!! DON'T DO IT!!!!"

 

One day he's going to turn around, and you are going to be with someone else, someone who actually gives you the love and affection you deserve, and then HE'LL be the one who's upset because he let someone simply AMAZING get away.

 

I'd love TEN minutes with D to set him straight about women. I'd beat some sense into him! But, you know something? Even if I had that opportunity, I wouldn't. Your love is his to claim. You've done your part. You shown him you care, that you want to be with him. It's his job to figure it out for himself.

 

All I can do is bang on my TV and hope this horror has a fairytale ending.....

 

Then I can change the channel back to MTV, where my love life exists.

 

Why MTV? It used to be filled with music, now it's just.....crap.

 

I KNOW that just made you smile. Admit it.

 

Luv ya.

 

-tp

host of "no-banging' ball"

 

P.S. Since you don't have plans this weekend.....hop a flight to NJ so me and Jenn can shower you with love again!!! We'll go shopping! (did I say that?)

[Teacher's Pet]

I left upset because I knew that there are at least 2 other plans that have to fall through before he can spend the evening with me...

 

Somewhere I once read a great quote...

 

"Never make someone a priority, if they only make you an option."

 

You should never be just "an option". You are too good a person to be that low on someone's "totem pole".

 

Maybe it's time to make your priority, YOU. Go out with your girlfriends. Pick up a fun new hobby. Plan more trips to NYC *hint hint*. Focus (I seem to be using that word a lot lately) on the things that give you positive energy in return. It will only make you a stronger person.

 

Just remember, smiles look better than frowns. I've seen that smile. :) That's how I'll always remember you, since I never expect to see any frowns when you visit NY. Don't deny the rest of the world what you've already shared with me and Jenn.

 

*slaps DS on her cute tushy*

 

Now, go out, and have some FUN!!!

 

Always your friend,

 

-tp

mr. fun stuff

[Mollyanna]

D doesn't agree with you TP. I am now not even an option. After a text message fight that lasted for 3 hours, and one telephone conversation where he couldn't understand me because i was crying too hard and he eventually started crying and hung up on me, the last text message from him said this -

 

"Now do us both a favor and lose my f*ing number! I'm so over this sh*t! GOODBYE!"

 

 

PS. his saturday plans was that freaking girl coming to visit again...

[swirly27]

D doesn't agree with you TP. I am now not even an option. After a text message fight that lasted for 3 hours, and one telephone conversation where he couldn't understand me because i was crying too hard and he eventually started crying and hung up on me, the last text message from him said this -

 

"Now do us both a favor and lose my f*ing number! I'm so over this sh*t! GOODBYE!"

 

 

PS. his saturday plans was that freaking girl coming to visit again...

 

Oh Molly, I am so sorry to hear this. This reminds me of me and my highschool/college bf. Boy we used to have this horrible, dramatic, crazy fights, the most horrible things came out of his mouth sometimes and everyone else though wow, he's really going to realize what he lost when she's gone....and you know what, that happened just like that....but not until I had moved on. I was at college, on a new campus, dorm, parties, classes and mtg new people all the time and I was still depressed about him and what he was doing...calling him, paging him and he was soooo ignorant, took me for granted, said things just like your D's last text message. Funny thing is I didn't even 'try' to move on when it happened, it just happened. I wad down and sad and going on with my life and then he contacted me one night and I was like pffff, why did I miss this?? It was more my self esteem than anything I think, cause once he came back (for like the millionth time) it took THAT time for me to see what everyone else had been saying. Was I 'over' him, NO, but I didn't want back the way we had been either. I wanted more and I realized it wasn't with him....and do you know to just last year, he still has called me now and then telling me I am the one that got away. What sucks is you will be upset and miss D for a long time....until one day either you meet someone else, see something in D that turns you really off, or a mixture of things and then all of this will seem like a dream. I see this old highschool bf every now and then and I don't even think he is attractive anymore...and he looks the same. haha You sound like such a sweet girl, and even though time heals all wounds, time is what hurts going thru. But it sounds like you met great friends by being on this site....so your breakup was meant to happen for a reason right!! I think this D doesn't deserve you and I am sure he is not 'evil' but he doesn't have a clue what he wants....and thats ok for him...but for you, you want someone that has a clue. Just keep telling yourself that!!

[Teacher's Pet]

Please call me tonight if you can.

 

I just wish I could just hug you so tight right now....... but yer 1000+ miles away....

 

If you need to yell/scream/cry/ANYTHING, I'm here, and you know I'll listen.

 

I'll be up all night, if I have to.

 

Just let me know you are ok????

 

-tp

[Mollyanna]

Thanks Swirly, yes we do have these big dramatic fights. The only fights we have though are over this same damn subject - this open relationship he wants and I try to give him to hold onto him - but I am not capable of handling it.

 

He called and said he was sorry that he was angry and doesn't want to lose me from his life but we should be friends, best friends even. I make him hate himself when I cry like this and he doesn't know how to help me. But he is not ready for a relationship with anyone and why won't I listen to him?

 

he cancelled the girl's visit so I wouldn't be killing myself over this all weekend.

 

He told me when I act so weak and fragile, it is not attractive. And he said he guesses he wants a woman who would not even date a guy like him. He wants to have his life straight before he can share it with someone else and encourages me to do the same thing - that I am also not ready for a relationship and that the two of us would never work like this. He said for the time being, we need to be just friends.

 

For the time being... he had to say that to keep me on the hook, right? It is exactly what I wanted to hear and suddenly I can't remember much else post-remark. Except him telling me how much he cares about me and wants to help me get through this.

 

TP, sorry but I can't talk right now. It took all I had to write this post. I just want to crawl in bed and hide for the entire weekend.

 

Thanks to everyone for all your support. My emotions are so topsy turvy, up and down from one minute to the next. I feel crazy. Thanks for being here for me.

[Teacher's Pet]

It's ok, hon.....

 

Try and get some rest.....

 

Let your emotions cool off a little before you do anything else.

 

I'll be around most of the weekend if you want to talk.....I'll be thinking about ya.....

 

-tp

[alphamale]

Saw Flavor Flav at the airport with a big yellow clock around his neck.

what's the deal with his dumb clock anyways?

[Teacher's Pet]

He does have a very big clock. I'm sure when people see him on the street, they ask to rub it for good luck.

 

giggity.

 

-tp

[D-Lish]

Oh Mollyanna,

 

It sucks that you are hurting!

 

What the f#%k is an open relationship???? What? It's only possible to have an open relationship when both people are okay with it. Sounds like your guy has a ton of growing up to do.

 

Hearing your story makes me mad on your behalf.

 

I went through a tough break up with my long term guy and we were so entwined that we leaned on each other during our own break up. That never worked- because we couldn't get over one another.

 

Betcha if you started dating other guys in this "open relationship" he'd freak out! Maybe you should do just that!

 

Open relationship.... you deserve way better!

D

[Mollyanna]

I have went on a couple of dates recently but he encourages it. He acts a little jealous, but when I mention meeting someone, he always tells me he wants me to date and find someone better than him. I know there are better guys out there, but the affection he shows me and the emotional connection I feel, is unlike any I have ever experienced. And now that I have been treated that way, I don't know how to live without it.

 

I don't understand how I could go from being so happy a few days ago to this intense depression so quickly.

[D-Lish]

....I know there are better guys out there....And now that I have been treated that way, I don't know how to live without it....

 

You said it yourself... you know there are better guys available. The problem is that it seems he only treats you well SOME OF THE TIME. When you meet someone who is a little more stable and emotionally available, they will treat you well too- and they won't encourage you to date other people.

 

 

I don't understand how I could go from being so happy a few days ago to this intense depression so quickly.

...

 

There will be up and down days until you finally cut off the contact and start to move on. Glad you are going out on dates. The fact that he gets a little jealous is whacked! I know you know you can't have him in your life in order for you to move forward.

 

D

[garnet]

You were able to go from feeling so happy to being so depressed because all of your "happiness" a few days ago was derived completely from external sources. It sounds to me like you are dependent on the opinions and feelings of others, especially D, for your happiness.

 

He has been calling you and (I assume) being intimate with you, and then he goes and makes plans with this other woman again. I don't understand how you could possibly think that it's a good idea to continue to be in contact with this guy.

 

Until you have the guts to stand up for yourself and walk away from him, your cycle of ups and downs is unfortunately going to continue...and I fear that the downs could become even worse. It doesn't matter that you think he is a nice guy, it doesn't mean that he isn't capable of treating you poorly... and that is most definitely what he is doing.

 

Until you walk away, NOTHING is going to truly change about this situation. I hate to sound harsh, but please get some self respect! It's painful to watch someone doing this to themselves.

[Mollyanna]

The problem is, he is the only real friend I have here. I have a very difficult time meeting people and an even worse time trusting them. I don't know what to do without him. My depression gets so severe and he is the only thing that can bring a smile to my face. I feel he is all I have. He is definitely all I want. Anything else, I would rather just stay in bed. But when he calls, I will do anything just to see him for 10 minutes. I know it is like an addiction at this point. And I would have been better served to have him as a friend only. Except I am hurt that I wasn't woman enough to make him settle down.

 

For the last two days, all my thoughts are consumed with why I haven't heard from him yet and when will he call. He said he would call. And when he does, I don't even know what to talk about anymore. We have exhausted the subject. I just want to hear his voice. I want to hear him call me sweetie.

[D-Lish]

I'll call ya "Sweetie" if it helps!

 

My ex used to call me "buttercup..."

 

My ex had said he would call...and it took 10 days! Those were awful 10 days. Now, I know he won't call, and I am settling into the NC rather nicely. It gets easier every day.

 

You have to stop basing your happiness on this other person. Make your own happiness. Join a social club, volunteer, go to the bookstore and hang out. That is a good way to meet people. Just get out there! You'll truly start to feel better if you can muster the courage to cut him off for a while.

 

No contact.... you'll start to move on and feel better. If you're always waiting for a call, you will not be able to recover.

[Ariadne]

Hi,

 

For the last two days, all my thoughts are consumed with why I haven't heard from him yet and when will he call. He said he would call.

 

I know the feeling. But in the case of this guy you are going to have to totally let him go.

 

And that is, if he wants to date the fwb you have to let him.

 

If you accept to have sex with him, and when you hear the fwb is coming to town you cry and spaz, he is going to run for the hills.

 

Like he said, you'd have to have the maturity to handle it. (Or you are being a pain).

 

Is ok to be sad though, (and I imagine the frustration) but not blame him for it (as crap as the situation is anyway).

 

Hope you are not upset at me anymore,

 

Ariadne