Guest Posted September 21, 2006 Share Posted September 21, 2006 I was going to put this in sexual health but since I'm not a registard memeber it wont let me. So here is my problem. My husband and I have been married, for 10 years. We have a son who is 9. Everything in our sex life seems to be ok, BUT he never goes down on me anymore. I have asked him before why, and he says he doesn't know. Personally I think he does but doesn't want to say why. He used to go down on me all the time years ago. He loved it and I did to it was one of my favorite things. I have even asked him, do I smell? Does it offend you? He says no that I don't smell. I said is it becasue I gave birth to our son? I know sometimes that can be a turn off for a man. he tells me no thats not it. He gets kind of defensive and says its not a big deal and he doesn't know why. I simply don't get that. No one knows why but him. I mean someone doesn't all of a sudden stop doing something they used to do and seem to enjoy for no reason. If he says its not a smell or me giving birth what else could it be? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted September 21, 2006 Share Posted September 21, 2006 I was going to put this in sexual health but since I'm not a registard memeber it wont let me. So here is my problem. My husband and I have been married, for 10 years. We have a son who is 9. Everything in our sex life seems to be ok, BUT he never goes down on me anymore. I have asked him before why, and he says he doesn't know. Personally I think he does but doesn't want to say why. He used to go down on me all the time years ago. He loved it and I did to it was one of my favorite things. I have even asked him, do I smell? Does it offend you? He says no that I don't smell. I said is it becasue I gave birth to our son? I know sometimes that can be a turn off for a man. he tells me no thats not it. He gets kind of defensive and says its not a big deal and he doesn't know why. I simply don't get that. No one knows why but him. I mean someone doesn't all of a sudden stop doing something they used to do and seem to enjoy for no reason. If he says its not a smell or me giving birth what else could it be? You know what,it's a wierd thing I've noticed with men. I've been in a couple of LT relationships and this happened both times! In the beginning, the guys did it ALL the time and proclaimed that they loved it, it was just their favorite thing to do, etc etc. Then after a year or so of being together, it completely stopped. All I can think of, people get lazy in relationships. They stop doing things 'for' their sig. other because it's too much trouble, takes too much effort and time. Same with back massages. You get lots of those in the beginning and then....nothing. I don't have any good answers for you other than maybe don't give him any blow jobs for a while and let him see how that feels. Link to post Share on other sites
britchick Posted September 21, 2006 Share Posted September 21, 2006 Hang on, same here as well. Been together 10 years and for the first few years he couldn't do it enough! It's maybe twice a year now, yet he gets BJs all the time. I'm going to have to bring this up with him. Link to post Share on other sites
CynicalP Posted September 21, 2006 Share Posted September 21, 2006 Two possibilites One, Maybe he doesnt wish to offend or hurt you by not revealing the true reasons. It's kind of like the ol "do these jeans make me look fat" dilemma men face. Tell her the truth and hurt her feelings or try to down play the situation to avoid a confrontation or sobbing wreck. The second possibility is he is too damn lazy as sad as it may sound. Someone else brought that up and I would totally agree with that. I used to give my wife lots of foot and calf massages. Dont know why now but I just have the desire to give spontaneous, unsolicted massages anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
nancyleeh Posted September 21, 2006 Share Posted September 21, 2006 All I can think of, people get lazy in relationships. They stop doing things 'for' their sig. other because it's too much trouble, takes too much effort and time....quote] I agree and think that all to often a partner doesn't want to put in as much energy to please their mate after they have been together for awhile. I've experienced that. My partner was so attentive in the beginning of our relationship and over the years he started talking about sex like it was work not pleasure. Our relationship in general was the same so I can't blame it on that and trying to talk about it was hopeless. nancyleeh Link to post Share on other sites
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