Guest Posted September 21, 2006 Share Posted September 21, 2006 A bit of an oddball question but for the married women who have had or are currently in the midst of an affair, do you use condoms? Was there any discussion about birth control, STD's etc. And if he said he wanted to use a condom would you feel weird. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted September 21, 2006 Share Posted September 21, 2006 Jesus, what a question. I don't think you should HAVE to ask, you should just USE THEM. My exH gave me chalmydia at the end of our marriage. I was like, my God, I have no control over whether you cheat but have the decency to use an effing condom. Just the idea ofnot using a condom with multiple partners is utterly disgusting. Link to post Share on other sites
outofdarkness Posted September 21, 2006 Share Posted September 21, 2006 I don't meet your criteria, but I think in this day and age, one should ask any potential partner; unless one is a long term monogamous relationship or marriage, to use a condom as well as discuss stds...It doesn't seem so weird now days due to AIDS, etc..It could mean your life! Link to post Share on other sites
Pink Amulet Posted September 22, 2006 Share Posted September 22, 2006 ALL THE TIME! Without question. Never sleep with someone without one before an comprehensive STD and AIDS test (especially if they are sleeping with someone else). Link to post Share on other sites
CrushedOrgans Posted September 22, 2006 Share Posted September 22, 2006 people in affairs are typically sleeping with more than one person, so yes, they should use condoms, at the very least. or, they could just stick with one person and it alleviates a lot (though not all) of their issues and fears. i say not all because you can never totally know what someone else is going to do. obviously. and if you don't feel weird about sleeping with someone else's husband, there's really no need to feel weird about being asked to use a condom when doing so.............and of course it makes sense to bring up condoms. married guys typically want as trouble-free a relationship as possible. they don't want to get caught, and they don't want your children...which would almost definitely get them caught. in any case, be freakin' safe as possible, sleep with unattached people, and one at a time, preferably. Link to post Share on other sites
Cheshire Cat Posted September 22, 2006 Share Posted September 22, 2006 You should always be using condoms (unless you both got tested for STDs, you can trust the other person and neither of you is sleeping with someone else). Link to post Share on other sites
lighthouse Posted September 22, 2006 Share Posted September 22, 2006 Guest - Yes! Condoms are necessary. I just turned 30 and had an abnormal pap smear which means that I was probably/possibly exposed to HPV which could possibly lead to cervical cancer. Everytime I go to the gyno (or get a blood test which is pretty often because I have seizures) I get tested for HIV/AIDS. As I am not sexually active (for over a year - poor me - lol). I am pretty positive that I am not going to turn up HIV+ but that little piece of paper makes me feel better. If I get involved with a person sexually then I would make sure to get re-tested and have them do the same before anything happened. Also, I have just found out, due to the abnormal pap, that men can not be tested for HPV but they can spread it and it is scary and painful. So whether you are a man or a woman you must wear or use a condom. And, to answer your question, if he wanted to use a condom I would trust him more but I wouldn't want to get involved with a MM - I have too much stress already. It is only your life! Just my two cents. LH Link to post Share on other sites
kjl933 Posted September 22, 2006 Share Posted September 22, 2006 First of all, a condom will not prevent the spread of HPV. It is a proximity virus and can pass from person to person even with condom usage. Also HPV can be naturally (?) contracted. It is not necessarily a STD, so it is possible for a woman to develop the virus naturally. And on the condom issue, I won't hijack, but will start a thread, I would venture to say that most people do not. I think it is an age factor....look for my post in the sex section. Link to post Share on other sites
InaPanic Posted September 22, 2006 Share Posted September 22, 2006 I was in a short term affair (I am the married one- he wasn't) & we did use a condom. It wasn't even questioned, it was presumed. at the time we thought the affair would last our plan was to go & have blood tests & for me to go on birth control pills. I'm so glad it never went that far because i had believed he wasn't a player & hadn't slept around. I was wrong. So thank God we did used condoms. Link to post Share on other sites
reservoirdog1 Posted September 23, 2006 Share Posted September 23, 2006 WXW rarely if ever used condoms when she was cheating on me. She always hated them, since the beginning of our relationship. The fact that she willingly took massive risks with my life demonstrates, to me, what little regard she had for me, and it's one of the things that most made me want to cut her out of my life after we split up. I don't need people in my life who don't give a rat's ass about me. Link to post Share on other sites
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