I must be so gay

[pleasetellmewhy]

k I'm turning 20 in less than 5 months, and looking back at my teenage days, what I realized is that I never had a gf. I had a crush on one girl in grade 8 so I gave her a small present on Valentine's day and she seemed to like it but I didn't make any further progess because I was too immature back then so I didn't even know what love meant (later she moved and done).

I had another crush in grade 12 but I just let it go, and in my university year

about 3 months ago I really liked this girl so I asked her out, but she rejected.

Well I didn't know her much so at least I appreciated her honesty, but what was really gay was about 3 days after I asked her out, she started going out with this other guy! and now I'm on Co-op and working at workplace quietly.

 

 

I don't think I'm not a bad looking and not noticeably tall, but at least more than average. I act somewhat psychotic from time to time but I do keep a good relationship with people and friends and girls as well.

 

Perhaps the problem is that I'm a quiet person. I do talk crazy a lot and act outgoing when I'm with close friends but don't talk at all when I'm with people unfamilar with. Also even I admit that people get sad, scary impression on me when they see me.

 

 

I'm just so miserable and stuff and now I'm just scared to go for a gf

becuz ye people said trying it is better than thinking it all by yourself and regret forever by doing nothing, so I did try it but it rather returned scar on me. me and my friends once teased each other for becoming 40yr old virgin . we had good laughs but come to think of it I do might become like that who can't fight a right match even until then...

 

This whole thing is messed. I just wanted to say something about myself so ye.

 

well have a great day guys.

[Heavenseventeen]

I'm just like you in the shy department. I'd rather wait until I'm twenty and have a partner for a long time, than be twelve and have ten different people before my twentieth birthday. As a girl/woman, you don't sound gay, you great! You don't give yourself to just anybody, you're saving yourself, and that shows that you have great respect for yourself.

 

The same thing happened to me, I asked a boy out and he said no, but now I realise that that month, he got a girlfriend and they've been together ever since. I don't feel sad about it (which surprised me), it just means that one day I'll find someone right for me- it wasn't him. For you, it wasn't her.

 

My dad is quiet too, and he's married to my mum (loud one...). It doesn't mean we won't meet someone, it just means we're the type of people not to let just ANYBODY in- which is good.

 

Just continue being you! I'm in the middle of trying to better my outside appearance and inside thoughts of myself so I feel good about myself. You should do the same. Once you are happy with yourself, you'll look more confident, you'll probably stop looking, and then POW she'll fall into your lap.

[Yoohoo]

The saying is not "try once then quit." its "Try, Try again"

Dating, like many things in life, Is simply a numbers game. If you think every girl will say yes, that's just not realistic...you must think of all the rejections as simply "practices" for the times the girls say yes.

 

If you recognize that you have a bad first impression on people, that's good. That means you can see yourself as others do, which is tough for a lot of people to visualize. Now you just have to change that first impression, so its great.

[KnowHowLoveFeels]

I'm just so miserable and stuff and now I'm just scared to go for a gf

becuz ye people said trying it is better than thinking it all by yourself and regret forever by doing nothing, so I did try it but it rather returned scar on me. me and my friends once teased each other for becoming 40yr old virgin . we had good laughs but come to think of it I do might become like that who can't fight a right match even until then...

 

This whole thing is messed. I just wanted to say something about myself so ye.

 

well have a great day guys.

 

I don't know you, BUT, I can tell you that DESPERATION is a complete TURN-OFF for many women! The above quote tells me just how desperate you are!! Geez... get a grip, dude! You are not even 20 - yet, you are already worried about being a virgin at ... 40????!!

 

If you just want to lose your virginity - don't get a GF, get a prostitute!

[fishtaco]

Yes desperation is bad. First thing you need to do... don't give a crap... at least pretend not to. First it masks the desperation, second it could be mistaken for confidence, which women like, third, it could be interpreted as playing hard to get, which turns on certain women.

 

Now, you're in college, that's where people party, and party hard. You do well with close friends, and you have friends (female ones). That's great! Here's my theory... again... people on LS are probably tired of reading it.

 

Self improvement. You need to look good and be interesting. How do you do that? Ask your female friends. They can tell you how to dress and how to look. Go work out at the gym. As for interesting, take up hobbies that women like, and/or have the cool factor - example: Dancing - women like. Bartending - cool factor. Guitar - both. Um... ok, you're only 20 so officially I say don't drink alcohol until you're 21. But we all know what goes on in colleges.

 

Social circle. You have to meet people and get invited to as many events as possible. That's REALLY easy to do in college. If you don't think so, wait till you graduate and get stuck in the unending work phase of your life. Ask your female friends to set you up. Go out with your female friends to the parties they're going to, sometimes they can break the ice and bring in women for you. Just having girls hanging over you will get you more attention from other women - don't be afraid to ask your female friends for help. Then at some frat party, when you least expect it, you will score with some drunk chick. But that's just to get rid of the virginity issue. Then your ever expanding social circle will help you meet a lot of women for potential girlfriend. Choose carefully. Psycho women can really ruin your life.

 

Number game. Every time you meet a girl, and she goes "oh you're so wonderful, you're like my best friend". That's not a loss. You be friends with her and try to meet women through her. You just might hook up with one of her friends. And never put all your eggs in one basket. Meaning you don't just hit up on one girl, and wait to go on a date with her. Until you become exclusive with someone (or getting close to), you hit up on as many women as you can. You should have multiple women in various stages at any given time. Say one that you have a first date with next week, one you are testing the waters to see if she's interested, one you've hung out a couple of times already and you're looking for an event to ask her out to... etc. This also helps with the don't care attitude. If you're only working on one girl, and she shuts you down, you feel like you've just crashed and burned, and some people go into the stalker mode -- bad. But if you have two other girls in the works... okay whatever, one down, two to go. You'll probably get another lead or two in the next few weeks anyway. Not to mention if you just make an 180 degree turn, and toss her into the friend bin and start working on other girls, she just might change her mind now that you're no longer interested in her. Oh and for your own peace of mind you might want to keep your projects separate, having them at the same event makes for a good TV show, but bad for your sanity. Unless they say no and become your friend, then they're there to help you, you bounce your how-to-score ideas off of them.

 

Anyway, be patient. This social circle thing won't work right away. Chance of success is very low for us guys. You beat the percentage by meeting A LOT of people. It's like the nuclear fission chain reaction. Once you've reached critical mass things will get a lot easier.