! I'm so sad

[strong4them]

Hi, I am a 29 year old married woman who has been with my husband for 12 years (married 7) My husband has been physically abusive our entire relationship and emotionally abusive as well. I have been in my current job for about 3 years and he has been extremely jealous and has accused me of having an affair since I've been here. I had never had an affair. He would call every 30 minutes and sometimes show up unannounced, I even found a GPS system in my car. He has never worked.

 

I started talking to a man I work with out of another office in January, We became extremely close friends and eventually fell in love with one another. We shared everything with each other and we had this huge emotional connection before we had even met for the first time. When we did meet it was so natural and so wonderful. Yes, he's married (22 years) and 22 years older than I am...but for some strange reason none of that mattered. We had a very special bond, but we both knew that we couldn't continue an intimate relationship because neither one of us wanted to "cheat". We constantly struggled to keep our relationship a simple friendship, but the passion for one another was too strong. His relationship with his wife had improved and even my husband was telling me that he was finally "in love" with me. Yes, he claimed to never have been in love before. My confidence and self-esteem was higher than it had ever been and he was just excited about how much closer he had become to his wife. We loved each other more than you can imagine.

 

My husband in the meantime was becoming psychotic, I suppose he sensed he was loosing control over me. He stopped taking medication for seizures (which was also a bipolar medication) and he had been using drugs and quit them cold turkey. He had a "crazy" episode, and hit me in front of my children and a week later I filed for a temporary protective order and took off with the kids. I lost in court because my lawyer didn't show up which gave him the right to move back in with me. We agreed to work on things and get counseling and in the meantime my OMG got scared and told his wife. I then had to tell my husband. You can imagine how this made things worse for me. I now am forced to have sex with him at least 2 times daily and I have to hear his constant criticism about what a whore I am. Yes, granted...I suppose I am. I had filed for divorce and custody was not going my way so I dismissed but he still has a counterclaim pending (another control)

 

To try and make a long story short, my OMG won't speak to me anymore, he says his wife forbids him to and he doesn't want to get a divorce...I know he still loves me because the last time I spoke to him he mentioned how much he is struggling emotionally and even contemplated suicide. I miss him and need him so much and don't know how I could make him understand that we would keep things as a friendship and nothing else, even if it meant we never actually saw each other again. I feel like such a loser when I do make my futile attempts to contact him and I don't want him to think I'm crazy, but I really don't think the friendship part of our relationship should end. It hurts so bad! Should I just give up? How could I convince him that we can still talk occasionally and not let things get out of control. He's the best friend I've ever had and I'm his, he just struggles more with controlling his manly parts and I know he's scared he can't control himself.

[Guest]

Hi, I am a 29 year old married woman who has been with my husband for 12 years (married 7) My husband has been physically abusive our entire relationship and emotionally abusive as well. I have been in my current job for about 3 years and he has been extremely jealous and has accused me of having an affair since I've been here. I had never had an affair. He would call every 30 minutes and sometimes show up unannounced, I even found a GPS system in my car. He has never worked.

 

I started talking to a man I work with out of another office in January, We became extremely close friends and eventually fell in love with one another. We shared everything with each other and we had this huge emotional connection before we had even met for the first time. When we did meet it was so natural and so wonderful. Yes, he's married (22 years) and 22 years older than I am...but for some strange reason none of that mattered. We had a very special bond, but we both knew that we couldn't continue an intimate relationship because neither one of us wanted to "cheat". We constantly struggled to keep our relationship a simple friendship, but the passion for one another was too strong. His relationship with his wife had improved and even my husband was telling me that he was finally "in love" with me. Yes, he claimed to never have been in love before. My confidence and self-esteem was higher than it had ever been and he was just excited about how much closer he had become to his wife. We loved each other more than you can imagine.

 

My husband in the meantime was becoming psychotic, I suppose he sensed he was loosing control over me. He stopped taking medication for seizures (which was also a bipolar medication) and he had been using drugs and quit them cold turkey. He had a "crazy" episode, and hit me in front of my children and a week later I filed for a temporary protective order and took off with the kids. I lost in court because my lawyer didn't show up which gave him the right to move back in with me. We agreed to work on things and get counseling and in the meantime my OMG got scared and told his wife. I then had to tell my husband. You can imagine how this made things worse for me. I now am forced to have sex with him at least 2 times daily and I have to hear his constant criticism about what a whore I am. Yes, granted...I suppose I am. I had filed for divorce and custody was not going my way so I dismissed but he still has a counterclaim pending (another control)

 

To try and make a long story short, my OMG won't speak to me anymore, he says his wife forbids him to and he doesn't want to get a divorce...I know he still loves me because the last time I spoke to him he mentioned how much he is struggling emotionally and even contemplated suicide. I miss him and need him so much and don't know how I could make him understand that we would keep things as a friendship and nothing else, even if it meant we never actually saw each other again. I feel like such a loser when I do make my futile attempts to contact him and I don't want him to think I'm crazy, but I really don't think the friendship part of our relationship should end. It hurts so bad! Should I just give up? How could I convince him that we can still talk occasionally and not let things get out of control. He's the best friend I've ever had and I'm his, he just struggles more with controlling his manly parts and I know he's scared he can't control himself.

 

You have to leave this marriade as soon as possible andnever look back. You are strong enough jus leave don't stay ,nobady should be treated like that. GO!