He hasnt called?

[velvet]

So I have been dating this man for almost a month. Hes goodlooking and had seemed nice as could be. Over the weekend I declined on a kiss that made him feel ackward.

 

Usually would call me about three times a day. I liked him very much. But Im under the impression that maybe all he wanted was my bod! After all he could have called by now to say something. But it may be all as well. Im not in any rush for a r/s he seemed to respect that in the begining.

 

That is until he attempted to dive on my body last Sat.

 

I dont want to call him and bother him any if hes looking to hook up asap. But I liked his company and have considered calling him. I dont want to lead him to believe that by calling him means that sex would be in the near future.

[Tony T]

So why did you reject a kiss after dating him an entire month?

 

First you say he just tried to kiss you, then you say he tried to dive on your body. Which was it?

 

Just because a guy tries to kiss you doesn't mean he's mad to get into your pants. It often means he's affectionate and would like to express that. I am assuming that he tried a lot more than to kiss you.

 

If he actually did dive at your passionately with the intention of having sex, you shouldn't see him anymore. He is NOT a gentleman and could possibly cause you trouble later on.

 

Now I don't have his side of the story here. Did you tease him? Did you encourage him in any way? If you did, shame on you.

[BeenThere]

You did not COMMUNICATE...at least not verbally. While you wanted to keep this guy around because he was good company, at the same time you were holding him at an arms length trying to keep a safe distance. Your body language was telling him one thing while your words WEREN'T telling him another. Its called "sending mixed signals". I suppose your freind, although not claravoyant, finally got the message...but perhaps not the one you wanted to send.

 

If you want to eliminate confusion, the best and ONLY thing to do sometimes is to open up and *talk*. Dinner the other night would have been a perfect time to lay your cards on the table. Perhaps in a few days he'll call again and you'll get another chance. Communicate, communicate, COMMUNICATE!

 

Nighty-nite, Velvet. And good luck! (off to catch my Zzzz...)

 

PS...sorry there was no time to run the spellcheck!

So I have been dating this man for almost a month. Hes goodlooking and had seemed nice as could be. Over the weekend I declined on a kiss that made him feel ackward. Usually would call me about three times a day. I liked him very much. But Im under the impression that maybe all he wanted was my bod! After all he could have called by now to say something. But it may be all as well. Im not in any rush for a r/s he seemed to respect that in the begining.

 

That is until he attempted to dive on my body last Sat. I dont want to call him and bother him any if hes looking to hook up asap. But I liked his company and have considered calling him. I dont want to lead him to believe that by calling him means that sex would be in the near future.

[yes]

It sounds to me like u'r confused about what u want from this guy. EXACTLY what do u want?

So I have been dating this man for almost a month. Hes goodlooking and had seemed nice as could be. Over the weekend I declined on a kiss that made him feel ackward. Usually would call me about three times a day. I liked him very much. But Im under the impression that maybe all he wanted was my bod! After all he could have called by now to say something. But it may be all as well. Im not in any rush for a r/s he seemed to respect that in the begining.

 

That is until he attempted to dive on my body last Sat. I dont want to call him and bother him any if hes looking to hook up asap. But I liked his company and have considered calling him. I dont want to lead him to believe that by calling him means that sex would be in the near future.

[velvet]

Why do you guys have to go after a kiss? Aafter I had made myslef clear during dinner, that my heart has been crushed.

 

Is there no inclination on your part?

 

After a kiss, that just gives you the "go ahead" to go even further. After a kiss than, heck! in a couple weeks your trying to stick your thing all over me. I'm thinking damn get it out of my face. I dont recall encouraging him.

 

Im just unsure about dating. I want to date, but the whole sex thing gets in the way. Slap me in the head with it why dont you!!

 

 

 

So why did you reject a kiss after dating him an entire month? First you say he just tried to kiss you, then you say he tried to dive on your body. Which was it? Just because a guy tries to kiss you doesn't mean he's mad to get into your pants. It often means he's affectionate and would like to express that. I am assuming that he tried a lot more than to kiss you. If he actually did dive at your passionately with the intention of having sex, you shouldn't see him anymore. He is NOT a gentleman and could possibly cause you trouble later on. Now I don't have his side of the story here. Did you tease him? Did you encourage him in any way? If you did, shame on you.

[Rachel]

Hi Velvet! What I'm going to write may sound a bit crass and sexual, but its true.

 

Most adults who date have physical attraction to eachother. You seem to have an "aversion" to even the poor guy kissing you ..... what is the problem? Even not wanting to be in a serious relationship is probably not the same as not wanting to enjoy a "kiss"... which is really a show of physical attraction combined with affection.

 

I think you don't have any comfort level with your own

 

"sexual" being.... I think you're a bit confused and need to address your thoughts on sex.

 

Are you a virgin? Is this man your first? Then if he is, maybe you need to address your fears and or thoughts on this matter.

 

Or maybe you had a sexual relationship which you did Not enjoy previously, since you refered to this man as "sticking his thing in you".... most healthy young women actually ENJOY lovemaking you know. And most healthy young women actually LIKE those things that men happen to have.... its called opposites attract.

 

I may be way off here, because usually my posts are along the lines of other posts, but I feel like my view on your question is totally different.

 

Also, I think you need to see if you are looking for a "buddy" or a "date".... a "date" is sooner or later going to turn sexual in nature in varying degrees.

 

Most women would question why a guy had NOT KISSED THEM AFTER A MONTH.... personally I think its strange that you found that enough to raise your guard up.

 

Ask us more questions.... we need to help you figure this out if you are interested.

 

'Good Luck

 

It sounds to me like u'r confused about what u want from this guy. EXACTLY what do u want?

 

[Tony T]

Velvet:

 

I feel so sad for you. A kiss is a sign of respect, admiration and affection. If all you associate it with is a guy's desire to stick his thing in you, you have lived a very sad life and will continue to do so.

 

I am so sorry you have this attitude but I will respect it.

 

A kiss in no way gives the "go ahead" to go further. If you have no control of your body, if you can't get men to respect your boundaries, maybe you should talk to an adult woman who can give you some tactics for doing so. You should also date men who have some degree of respect.

 

I'm very happy most females don't think of a kiss the same as you do.

 

I feel so sad for you.

[velvet]

Of course a kiss says eventually this can be more than a kiss! Where have you been? If I were to have let him kiss me, than he would have wanted to kiss more on the next date and the next. Than it would turn into tounge twisting oohh let me grab your breast, and so on...

 

I want to meet someone nice and sexy but Im not as ready as I thought I was. The advice I get on dating from others seem to work in the exact opposite as what I was hoping for.

 

At the same time I really feel like I just dont want a man in my life. I just want to work on me. Be selfish for a change and improve my life, myself. That was working against me Saturday night.

 

I would like a male friend. Someone who likes enjoys me and doesnt expect anything sexual from me. Than eventually when the moment is right and Im ripe, than we could work with that. But what guy would want to hang around for a lady to make her mind up. None, that I know of.

 

 

 

Velvet: I feel so sad for you. A kiss is a sign of respect, admiration and affection. If all you associate it with is a guy's desire to stick his thing in you, you have lived a very sad life and will continue to do so. I am so sorry you have this attitude but I will respect it. A kiss in no way gives the "go ahead" to go further. If you have no control of your body, if you can't get men to respect your boundaries, maybe you should talk to an adult woman who can give you some tactics for doing so. You should also date men who have some degree of respect.

 

I'm very happy most females don't think of a kiss the same as you do. I feel so sad for you.

[roger]

Wow, I reakon this guy is quite confused.

 

The only thing I can add to this discussion is to be open to him, explain the situation in full and let nothing be mis-interpreted. He probably felt that a kiss after 1 month was taking it slowly, but doesn't mean that he'll jump on you up that same night.

 

At the moment he feels rejected and most probably doesn't know where he stands. You said that he's a nice guy, nice guys have feeling too. If you drop him like a "hot potatoe" you will lose his friendship and a possibility to be with a nice guy once you have made up your mind.....let him know.. you may be surprised!

 

Regards

[Tony T]

A car can eventually be a demolished mess from an accident, do you not drive?

 

Eating food can lead to food poisoning or indigestion, do you not eat?

 

If you have so little control of your life when it comes to kissing, you ought not to date for a while.

 

You ask where I've been. I've probably had more kisses than the average guy, I can assure you. And they only led to other things if myself and the other person mutually wanted them to. Maybe I'm just not typical...I don't know. But if every guy kisses you because he wants sex, I feel so sad for you.

 

Having male friends is difficult, only because many of them that start out platonic end up with one or the other falling. My platonic relationships with women are great and mutually rewarding. But even when I start having feelings, I reel them in and control them. It takes two very mature people to pull off such friendships.

 

Most men know that if they make a great female friendship, most of it will go out the window if not end when she flips over some guy. It's happened to me many, many times.

 

I do hope you find a nice male friend because you will enjoy it while it lasts.

[Anon]

Seems to me someone has some BAGGAGE...

 

What's up with your lack of libido? I'd say most people date those whom they find sexually attractive on some level. You yourself say you wanted to date someone attractive or "sexy"... Why bother if you are going to act like dried up old prune and not even want the guy to poke you with a ten foot pole (Or wuld that be too phallic for you)???

 

My God! Perhaps you should reconsider your sexual orientation... I don't know about anyonoe else on this board, but even if I don't want to jump in the sack with someone right away, I do enjoy a passionate kiss, a brush of the hand, etc.

 

You're total lack of desire scares me! Can we say "hormaone-replacement-therapy" or do we just say "man-hating-lesbian-prude"...

 

Ugh. Sucks to be you. With that attitude, I'm surprised he dated you as long as he did. I wouldn't, because I'm sure your obvious hatred of the man-species is communicated in your posture, conversation, and general attitude on your outings with this and other gentlemen.

 

Conselling might be a good thing. Perhaps you've gone through some traumatic past experience regarding males? There must be some basis for your revulsion?

[Rachel]

Hi Velvet!

 

I read all responses to your post below, and of course posted one of my own as well....

 

I was just wondering what your thoughts were on the answers to your question.

[Karlee]

I am pretty sure that when this guy needs a romp in the sack that he will call you, seems as though it is only on his terms. Or who knows maybe this guy is only into one nights stands who knows

 

You deserve better than that

[velvet]

You where an abused child werent you?

 

So I take kissing to be something special & personal!

 

I blow you a kiss now, for your rude attitude!

 

SMOOCH!!!!!!

 

 

 

Seems to me someone has some BAGGAGE... What's up with your lack of libido? I'd say most people date those whom they find sexually attractive on some level. You yourself say you wanted to date someone attractive or "sexy"... Why bother if you are going to act like dried up old prune and not even want the guy to poke you with a ten foot pole (Or wuld that be too phallic for you)??? My God! Perhaps you should reconsider your sexual orientation... I don't know about anyonoe else on this board, but even if I don't want to jump in the sack with someone right away, I do enjoy a passionate kiss, a brush of the hand, etc. You're total lack of desire scares me! Can we say "hormaone-replacement-therapy" or do we just say "man-hating-lesbian-prude"...

 

Ugh. Sucks to be you. With that attitude, I'm surprised he dated you as long as he did. I wouldn't, because I'm sure your obvious hatred of the man-species is communicated in your posture, conversation, and general attitude on your outings with this and other gentlemen. Conselling might be a good thing. Perhaps you've gone through some traumatic past experience regarding males? There must be some basis for your revulsion?

[velvet]

Sorry but I didnt find any post. Maybe because we have different thread! Sorry I cant reply

 

 

 

Hi Velvet! I read all responses to your post below, and of course posted one of my own as well....

 

I was just wondering what your thoughts were on the answers to your question.

[Laurynn]

...and in your case, there must be some basis for the fact that you're a rude, judgmental, catty, sarcastic, presumptuous, narrowminded, out-of-line, unhelpful putz.

 

L

[velvet]

You asked who am I!

 

Im a family minded person. Usually shy around new faces.

 

Im honest,caring and happy.

 

I lost my mother to a drunk driver a couple years ago and at the same time lost my fiance after he turned violent towards me. Afterwards leaving Florida to return to my home state to be among family. I turned towards a male friend of mine of ten years who crushed my heart after two. Now Im trying to become comfortable in the dating seen. Not something I have experience with!

 

I realize somewhere along the line that I have probably offended you or others. But yes, I enjoy coming to the Loveshack to read the posts. I have noticed a few of the people who post here have listened to what I say and I also found some level of comfort here after my recent breakup.

 

I have a sense of humor! In the midst of stress or if I feel like someone is lashing out at me I tend laugh uncontrolably. Or say something as equally stupid to make it even more humorous.

 

I see that you dont care for my posts!

 

If there is anything further you wish to discuss than you may contact me at <e-mail address removed>

[Laurynn]

Velvet!

 

Goodness, I couldn't understand what the heck you were talking about. I greatly enjoy your posts and responses and have never EVER had a problem with you :-)

 

So I wondered if someone was maybe impersonating me. Nope. I see where you're getting this idea that I don't like you. It's in that thread down the board...the one where I rattled off a bunch of insults.......with the subject of "WHo are you?"......hun, that wasn't to YOU...that was to the mouthy butthead "Anon" who was trashing YOU......see, click on this link and you'll see where they were responding to you:

 

"Anon's" response to You (Velvet)

 

And in response to their nasty response to you, that's where *I* piped up and asked them who THEY were, to talk to you that way...and to be so insulting and rude.

 

Go have a look...and you'll see. Hope that clears it up!!

 

Laurynn

[velvet]

The nerve of some people. You think if they would shut their months long enough they could show some compassion for a change.

Velvet! Goodness, I couldn't understand what the heck you were talking about. I greatly enjoy your posts and responses and have never EVER had a problem with you :-) So I wondered if someone was maybe impersonating me. Nope. I see where you're getting this idea that I don't like you. It's in that thread down the board...the one where I rattled off a bunch of insults.......with the subject of "WHo are you?"......hun, that wasn't to YOU...that was to the mouthy butthead "Anon" who was trashing YOU......see, click on this link and you'll see where they were responding to you:

 

"Anon's" response to You (Velvet)

 

And in response to their nasty response to you, that's where *I* piped up and asked them who THEY were, to talk to you that way...and to be so insulting and rude. Go have a look...and you'll see. Hope that clears it up!! Laurynn