abusive relationship--worried

[lynnie]

I would like to hear someone else's opinion on this. I have a friend who is married. They have not been together long, under a year. I am worried about her. He does not like for her to go out without him, for example with her friends. It is okay though if he is with her. He has said he doesn't want her to becuz he is afraid she will cheat on him. Though it is Okay for him to go out with his friends. He is rude to her in that he insults her (for example saying she is overweight when she isn't but even if she was I don't think that's right).

 

He has said he doesn't like her friends or at least most of them and they mostly hang out with his friends. He drinks a lot, every day in fact, passes out, drives drunk, all of that. If he doesn't get his waywith something for example she wants to go somewhere without him and he doesn't want her to, he tries to make her feel guilty and he has a tantrum, and she will give in and do what he wants. It's almost like he is trying to seperate her from family & friends or something, I don't know. She always will do what he says it seems like just to keep the peace. I don't think she likes to argue. They got married not long after they started dating. I have to say even though I don't know him too well I can't stand the way he treats her. She says they talked and everything is resolved. But I don't believe it cause they all seem like signs of worse things to come.

 

The thing that really worries me is that she will not stand up for herself. I know she will not leave this marriage because some people told her not to marry him or to wait a while and she is stubborn so she will not want for people to be able to say I told you so. It's almost like he treats her as a possession, where she has to keep the house looking nice and entertain, and she is not allowed to go out without him. He left the night they got married (said he was going to the store) and went out drinking and didn't come home until late.

 

When I told her she maybe should wait a while before they married she got mad and so now I don't want to say anything. She won't listen and I don't want to rain on her parade or for her to get mad. I feel like I tried and it didn't work. I am hoping maybe I'm just overreacting or worrying needlessly. Any opinions? Thank you.