sweet-tooth Posted March 3, 2002 Share Posted March 3, 2002 hi i have a girlfriend that gets "mad" at me when i want to do something by myself, we lve together and have been oing together for 10 months now and i drove to my father's with her and my father and i made plans verbally to go out on march 29th to a karaoke bar and spend the night together, it's my 20th birthday and we're going to have a few drinks, sing and have fun and my girlfriend got all mad at me because i want to spend my birthday with my dad..she says i only think about myself aand etc, she makes me feel guilty...what should be done? st Link to post Share on other sites
velvet Posted March 3, 2002 Share Posted March 3, 2002 Thats her problem. If she wanted to celebrate your Bday than she could come up with her on festivities of her own prior to your plans with your father. What would she rather do for your Bday? Ask her and see if you can fit it in with your schedual. But you already made arrangments with your father so dont even think about changing them for her. Have A Wonderful Birthday! hi i have a girlfriend that gets "mad" at me when i want to do something by myself, we lve together and have been oing together for 10 months now and i drove to my father's with her and my father and i made plans verbally to go out on march 29th to a karaoke bar and spend the night together, it's my 20th birthday and we're going to have a few drinks, sing and have fun and my girlfriend got all mad at me because i want to spend my birthday with my dad..she says i only think about myself aand etc, she makes me feel guilty...what should be done? st Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted March 3, 2002 Share Posted March 3, 2002 Well, in this particular case I'm with your girlfriend. She obviously cares a great deal about you and you're very lucky to have a lady who considers it important to be with you on your birthday. The least you could have done was include her in your birthday plans. I think she is right to be somewhat upset that you're going out to drink and party it up on your birthday...WITHOUT her. Some girls would dump your butt for doing that. Your father is old enough to handle you spending the day before or the day after your birthday with him and leave you to be with your lady on your birthday if that's what it takes. It's not too late to fix this. Either invite your girl along...or make plans with your dad for another day. Now you've only given this one example of your lady getting mad when you want to do something by yourself. If this is the only time, I am on her side. If she gets mad a lot because you want to go off by yourself a lot, give us more detail. If you're dating someone, you certainly have a right to a life of your own and to go out with friends or alone two or three nights a week...or even more...as long as you don't neglect the relationship. If your girl can't handle that, she's pretty immature or insecure. When you're in a relationship you have to strike a happy balance between doing things with your lady alone together, doing things with your friends alone, doing things with your friends and bringing your girl along, and just being by yourself. If you feel your lady is being unreasonable generally about this issue, then you may be incompatible. But I'll tell you straight out, if a lady I'd been dating made plans to be with her mama drinking and singing at a bar on her birthday...without me...I'd kick her butt right before I told her farewell!!! You have hurt your girl and you need to patch this up. And be very thankful she thinks enough of you to want to spend your birthday with you. There are some females out there who could care less one way or the other. If you don't understand why she is upset, go take a cold shower and ask your lady friends to explain it to you. That you had to come here to ask this question tells me you have a LOT to learn about women, consideration, thoughtfulness, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted March 3, 2002 Share Posted March 3, 2002 Did you read the post? This guy's birthday isn't for 26 more days. For Pete's sake, this poor girl had no idea her boyfriend was going to be so lacking in consideration and thoughtfulness that he would make plans with his daddy on his birthday almost a month in advance...and make the plans right in front of her...rub them in her face!!! She probably had something special planned for his birthday for a long time. She has a right to be hurt, depressed and pissed. But I agree with you that he ought to do whatever he wants on his birthday. And his kind, sensitive girlfriend ought to go out and find a guy who will be just a tad more thoughtful than this guy...DUH...who doesn't even understand why she's upset. And you, a girl, don't understand either. Wow, I guess maybe it's just late or maybe my elevator is inoperative tonight. However, I won't reconsider here. I'm with the lady 100 percent. The more I think about it, the more mad I get at this guy. Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted March 3, 2002 Share Posted March 3, 2002 Plan something with her - the day of, or the day after... I agree it'd be better to plan smth with your dad for the day after and spend the actual day with her but i dont think it's too bad the other way aroudn... just make sure she doesn't feel left out. Just in general, it's rude to make plans with somebody in presence of someone else who u rn't inviting... Gotta be more considerate! esp. w/ your gf! -yes hi i have a girlfriend that gets "mad" at me when i want to do something by myself, we lve together and have been oing together for 10 months now and i drove to my father's with her and my father and i made plans verbally to go out on march 29th to a karaoke bar and spend the night together, it's my 20th birthday and we're going to have a few drinks, sing and have fun and my girlfriend got all mad at me because i want to spend my birthday with my dad..she says i only think about myself aand etc, she makes me feel guilty...what should be done? st Link to post Share on other sites
Anon Posted March 3, 2002 Share Posted March 3, 2002 Well I can see why she'd be upset. Usually in a relationship, the partner of the one having the birthday plans something special for that occasion. Or at least if there are some kind of family celebrations planned for the birthday, the girlfriend (or boyfriend) is included. She likely feels like you're freezing her out....that you took away her opportunity to plan something special for your birthday and that you made plans but didn't even ask her to join you. That's how I see it. hi i have a girlfriend that gets "mad" at me when i want to do something by myself, we lve together and have been oing together for 10 months now and i drove to my father's with her and my father and i made plans verbally to go out on march 29th to a karaoke bar and spend the night together, it's my 20th birthday and we're going to have a few drinks, sing and have fun and my girlfriend got all mad at me because i want to spend my birthday with my dad..she says i only think about myself aand etc, she makes me feel guilty...what should be done? st Link to post Share on other sites
velvet Posted March 3, 2002 Share Posted March 3, 2002 Well if this girl had planned something in advance she didnt include his daddy. His daddy & him made plans to go out and drink! Which means this girl has a full day to come up with something other than drinking. Further more she lives with this man, sees him everyday of their lives and didnt pre warn him "two months" in advance that she was going to make plans. Its not only his bday its his daddys too. I think his daddy should be involved. I think it should be a celebration for the both of him. Of course she should be included. But that day is a celebration for both father & son. Happy Birthday to the both of you! Did you read the post? This guy's birthday isn't for 26 more days. For Pete's sake, this poor girl had no idea her boyfriend was going to be so lacking in consideration and thoughtfulness that he would make plans with his daddy on his birthday almost a month in advance...and make the plans right in front of her...rub them in her face!!! She probably had something special planned for his birthday for a long time. She has a right to be hurt, depressed and pissed. But I agree with you that he ought to do whatever he wants on his birthday. And his kind, sensitive girlfriend ought to go out and find a guy who will be just a tad more thoughtful than this guy...DUH...who doesn't even understand why she's upset. And you, a girl, don't understand either. Wow, I guess maybe it's just late or maybe my elevator is inoperative tonight. However, I won't reconsider here. I'm with the lady 100 percent. The more I think about it, the more mad I get at this guy. Link to post Share on other sites
sweet-tooth Posted March 3, 2002 Share Posted March 3, 2002 she never plans anything...she didn't do anything on valentine's day and she never does anything to show ME that she loves me...I'm always doing evrything, taking her out, and doing usually what she wants, i never get to do anything i want to do and lately i've been re-thinking my relationship with this girl...i'm confused, frustrated and everything else... hi i have a girlfriend that gets "mad" at me when i want to do something by myself, we lve together and have been oing together for 10 months now and i drove to my father's with her and my father and i made plans verbally to go out on march 29th to a karaoke bar and spend the night together, it's my 20th birthday and we're going to have a few drinks, sing and have fun and my girlfriend got all mad at me because i want to spend my birthday with my dad..she says i only think about myself aand etc, she makes me feel guilty...what should be done? st Link to post Share on other sites
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