Twisted Mess

[tgrace]

I've had an on-again, off-again with my boyfriend of three years. We've been through a lot, ex-girlfriend issues, long-distance relationship issues, him not acknowledging his feelings, etc. We finally turned a major corner in our relationship and things were finally starting down a comfortable path. Then, two weeks ago, we were blindsided by the unthinkable.

 

My 16 year old daughter has had a lot of problems in the past year. She started dabbling in drugs, started having sex, and started telling major lies all over the place. My opinion is that she's needing attention. I work two jobs and do the best I can and thought I had a good support system for her.

 

Anyway, the past few months she's began a new attitude that she wants to do what she wants, when she wants, doesn't want to go to school, etc. I figured it was the typical teenage BS. Meanwhile, my boyfriend lives 300 miles away while he attends college and he has always treated her like his own daughter....even better than her own dad treats her.

 

Two weeks ago, she wanted to stay at her girlfriends house because I had grounded her. So that she wouldn't have to come back to my house where the rules were, etc., she fabricated a story that my boyfriend has been molesting her over the past three years. Knowing how the 'system' would go, the police and CPS removed her from my house to keep her "safe" while the investigation is going on. They placed her temporarily into her dad's house where he lets her do what she wants, when she wants, and badmouths me in front of her because he doesn't like my boyfriend.

 

So, needless to say, this has put a wrench into the relationship with my boyfriend. It's already known that he didn't do this and he thinks he needs to walk away from our relationship even though he doesn't really want to. He doesn't want me to resent him later on if I decide to maintain a relationship with him at the risk of not having one with my daughter.

 

I'm really torn right now. I don't want to lose the man I love. My daughter is starting counseling and she's gone on anti-depressants. I'd love to know if anyone has gone through this kind of thing with their kids and they withstood their relationship with their partner. So far he and I have just heard that we can't survive this and it's better to walk away now. Help please.