JamesM Posted October 20, 2006 Share Posted October 20, 2006 PS sidenote - Haven't seen our lovely LadyJane in a quite a while... I hope she's doing okay. I agree...Ladyjane hasn't posted in almost a month...very unusual. Link to post Share on other sites
Mz. Pixie Posted October 20, 2006 Share Posted October 20, 2006 I'm taking a guess here, but the supportive posts got less and less and (to me) it seemed there were folks just bashing for the sake of bashing him, not really productive, seeing as the guy was working his butt off to gain back trust with his wife...Or maybe he just needs to move on...Either way, I hope he knows he can come back and post, or PM people for advice too. PS sidenote - Haven't seen our lovely LadyJane in a quite a while... I hope she's doing okay. Yes, I hope she is okay too. Link to post Share on other sites
Ladyjane14 Posted October 22, 2006 Share Posted October 22, 2006 Ladyjane is doing okay. I've been so busy I haven't had much time to check in though. Sorry. I've only just skimmed H2T's thread, but I'm wondering if separation is REALLY something he's willing to risk??? I think it's likely that a separation at this time would become permanent. It's true that "absence makes the heart grow fonder", but "out of sight, out of mind" is equally true. I'm not sure if you're still around, H2T... but if you are, you need to think this over VERY carefully. I think the odds are decidedly against reconciliation if you leave the home. And in the grande scheme of things, it's still early days post-infidelity. It takes two or three YEARS to repair a marriage after adultery. That sounds like a really long time when you aren't having your ENs met. But when you measure it against a LIFETIME spent together and the chance to be a COUPLE as you face the joys and tribulations of this life.... it's just a drop in the bucket. Lord willing, you'll someday be grandparents together. My advice to you is to STOP worrying so much about solving the problems in an immediate way. Try to find a little peace in your daily life. You can't eat a bear but one bite at a time, right? Also, you might give some thought to giving your wife some genuine Forgiveness. It only stands to reason that if you want her to forgive you for your transgressions... that you'd be the first to throw these past resentments away. It's EASY to forgive the one you love. You just do it. Wad up every resentment and past transgression, and then THROW IT AWAY. These things aren't worth keeping anyhow. Clean the slate completly. The only trick to it is to keep reminding yourself EVERY DAY that you've put these resentments behind you. Then... just give it some time. You have no control over anyone else's time table. But you have absolute control over your own. Be patient. You have nothing to lose, and everything to gain in terms of keeping your family WHOLE by adopting a more patient strategy. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 22, 2006 Share Posted October 22, 2006 LJ, if possible, can you enable your PM? Glad you're doing alright and that you're back! Link to post Share on other sites
magichands Posted October 22, 2006 Share Posted October 22, 2006 LJ, if possible, can you enable your PM? Glad you're doing alright and that you're back! You're lucky I didn't press the Alert button. Link to post Share on other sites
Ladyjane14 Posted October 22, 2006 Share Posted October 22, 2006 LJ, if possible, can you enable your PM? Glad you're doing alright and that you're back! Thanks WWIU... will do. Link to post Share on other sites
magichands Posted October 22, 2006 Share Posted October 22, 2006 Thanks WWIU... will do. Damn...that would have been quite a scalp. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 22, 2006 Share Posted October 22, 2006 what are you talking about MH? Or do you mean scoop? Link to post Share on other sites
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