Guest Posted September 25, 2006 Share Posted September 25, 2006 Ok I have a question about my sister whom I love very much. Shes married and has no kids. Been married for about 5 years now. I hear her moan and complain about her husband all the time. He is a really good guy, and seems to love her and help her etc. She says she loves him and she is always taking credit for the good things that happen in their relationship, but is quick to point the finger at her husband when things are not going well. Basically she puts all the blame on him when things go wrong. Its kind of like she feels she has no hand in anything that might be wrong. She was complaining to me about the lack of sex she gets from him and he never wants to really do anything, but seems ok if she takes the lead to initate things. I have explained to her maybe he is depressed or maybe he is tired of the way she treats him etc. She tells me thats not the problem. She feels he is just being childish. Once again she doesn't want to hear anything others have to say that might be the least bit true. She tells me she is tried of the one always having to iniate sex between them even though she has talked to him about over and over again. So she is now sleeping with another man! She tells me of how happy she is with her sex life with this other guy. I tell her if you are so happy with him why not just divorce your husband then. It really ticks me off to see her doing this to her husband. And while it might not really be any of my business, she makes it my business when she comes and talks to me about all this. She also tels me shes not going to divorce her husband when shes getting the best of both worlds by having her husband hang around to do things she needs done and getting sex from another too!! I asked her how would she feel if this was being done to her, she laughed and said her husband was to stupid to cheat on her and wouldn't happen no way. Then she proceeds to tell me her husband knows and doesn't mind. I'm not saying shes lying but I will say thats hard to believe, just knowing how her husband comes across. I can't imagine him being ok with this. I asked if they were having an open marriage now and she says nope. Its just weird to me that she tells me shes cheating on him with another man about a week ago but now all of a sudden she is saying her husband knows but failed to mention that in the beginning. Maybe she figured if she told me he knew I wouldn't go blab to him about it. I have no intensions no way really, its on her anyway. Anyway she tells me her problems are bascially over. How can that be? It would seem to me more have been created. She says she got tired of worrying what was going on with her husband and was tired of beating her head against the wall over the matter. So she says her problems are over, because shes got him to do things for her or help her and shes banging another! What is she thinking? Does she really think things are better now because of this choice? Link to post Share on other sites
JadeStar Posted September 25, 2006 Share Posted September 25, 2006 Sounds like shes in denial about things. Shes probably convinced herself things are better, but deep down she probably knows they aren't. Its possible this other man is just a temporary fix for her for now. Once he is out of the picture her problems will more than likely still be there. Jade Link to post Share on other sites
catgirl1927 Posted September 25, 2006 Share Posted September 25, 2006 She sounds like a selfish child. She sounds like she doesn't care who she hurts as long as she gets what SHE wants and to hell with everyone else. She also sounds like she has ZERO respect for her husband. Her poor husband. I hope he finds out soon. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 25, 2006 Share Posted September 25, 2006 Obviously she hasn't given her husband a chance to even talk and work things out, it seems your sis has NO patience, tolerance or reason to compromise whatsoever! She sounds really selfish and immature, putting the blame on him for everything. I guess she's perfect in her own mind... I'm calling bullcrap here, there is NO way he knows she's cheating and it's okay with him. IF that is the case, then he should be allowed to cheat on her, with her knowing... IF she doesn't wake up and get her head out of the sand soon, she can kiss her husband goodbye. won't be long before he puts two and two together, and seeing as she's cheating on him, she won't have anybody to blame but herself. It's HER choice to cheat, and that's that. Be strong, but tell her not to involve you at all when it comes to her affair. Suggest to her to end the affair, and try marriage counselling with her husband, support her in that way, but not when it comes to her cheating. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 25, 2006 Share Posted September 25, 2006 To answer your question, why does she think things are better now? Well, for starters, she's got TWO men now in her life to fulfill all her needs. One for sex, fun and excitement, and her hubby for security, a home and fiancial reasons, a house to still live in and "pretend" that they're husband and wife. She's having her cake and eating it too, so that's why she's a happy camper now. Link to post Share on other sites
MarriedTard Posted September 25, 2006 Share Posted September 25, 2006 Buy your brother in law a baseball bat. When he asks you why you got it for him, just say .. "You'll see in a while " Link to post Share on other sites
Sup Posted September 25, 2006 Share Posted September 25, 2006 Why not tell her husband about this, so he can have a choice about his life, he needs to get checked for STDs. Link to post Share on other sites
luvstarved Posted September 26, 2006 Share Posted September 26, 2006 The only thing I hate worse than someone having an affair and feeling bad about it is someone having an affair and feeling good about it. Your sister has no clue about the concept of marriage. She is treating your BIL like a dog and feeling good about it. I would not want to be the one to tell him but I do hope he finds out soon one way or the other if he does not know already. The thing is, though, the best of both worlds is likely to turn into the worst of both worlds eventually...I hate to see that happen to anyone, but what can you do if one seems to ask for it? Link to post Share on other sites
Sassy Posted September 26, 2006 Share Posted September 26, 2006 Buy your brother in law a baseball bat. When he asks you why you got it for him, just say .. "You'll see in a while " roflmao!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted September 26, 2006 Share Posted September 26, 2006 I don't get why people are bashing this other person when there is people on here that are doing the exact same thing. I can think of one post in particular. Just as WWIU said they want their cake and eat it too! I think personally this person doesn't care for the husband or they wouldn't continue to do the cheating and think it is ok. JMO Link to post Share on other sites
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