Jeepwranglrchick Posted September 25, 2006 Share Posted September 25, 2006 I met this guy a few months ago. I have been spending a lot of time with him. He is perfect. Sweet, honest, loves my kid, makes a lot of money (can easily support me and my son), loves animals, my friends and family like him, and I can't find anything wrong with him. But at the same time, I find myself trying to find reasons not to like him. I want him just to disappear at times. When I am with him things are great, but when I leave I start thinking up things of why I shouldn't be with him or I think maybe I just won't answer his phone calls anymore. I don't know what is wrong with me. We never fight, we have alot in common...help!! Thank you, Tammy Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted September 26, 2006 Share Posted September 26, 2006 I met this guy a few months ago. I have been spending a lot of time with him. He is perfect. Sweet, honest, loves my kid, makes a lot of money (can easily support me and my son), loves animals, my friends and family like him, and I can't find anything wrong with him. But at the same time, I find myself trying to find reasons not to like him. I want him just to disappear at times. When I am with him things are great, but when I leave I start thinking up things of why I shouldn't be with him or I think maybe I just won't answer his phone calls anymore. I don't know what is wrong with me. We never fight, we have alot in common...help!! Thank you, Tammy I have no kids but I'm having the same problem too, i think we are scared of getting hurt.. or i guess we're kind of in a comfort zone thing? scared of things are going change and it's going to go wrong. Just want to say answer his phone calls don't hurt someone who loves you and let him know how you feel... xx Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jeepwranglrchick Posted September 26, 2006 Author Share Posted September 26, 2006 I have no kids but I'm having the same problem too, i think we are scared of getting hurt.. or i guess we're kind of in a comfort zone thing? scared of things are going change and it's going to go wrong. Just want to say answer his phone calls don't hurt someone who loves you and let him know how you feel... xx thank you for your help, and he is too nice not to talk to... Link to post Share on other sites
obsession Posted September 27, 2006 Share Posted September 27, 2006 are you really a commitment-phobic, or is it because you don't have that spark with him? I met this guy a few months ago. I have been spending a lot of time with him. He is perfect. Sweet, honest, loves my kid, makes a lot of money (can easily support me and my son), loves animals, my friends and family like him, and I can't find anything wrong with him. But at the same time, I find myself trying to find reasons not to like him. I want him just to disappear at times. When I am with him things are great, but when I leave I start thinking up things of why I shouldn't be with him or I think maybe I just won't answer his phone calls anymore. I don't know what is wrong with me. We never fight, we have alot in common...help!! Thank you, Tammy Link to post Share on other sites
luvtoto Posted September 27, 2006 Share Posted September 27, 2006 Hi Tammy. I can relate to your post. I actually just broke up with someone that would've been perfect for me. But, my head always gets in the way. There are many posts about this sort of issue here. Feel free to check my history from a couple weeks ago. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted September 27, 2006 Share Posted September 27, 2006 or is it because you don't have that spark with him? I just broke up with someone that was perfect in most ways too.. she wasn't the one though.. She made tons of money had a beautiful home and great kids, she also was smoking hot and was really good to me and showed me a great deal of respect...and she included me in her life without any strings Butttttttttt........ The spark wasn't there.... I tried to ignore it and then came back on LS and finally figured out that I needed to break it off instead of leading her on. I also realized that I would never fall in love with her... Link to post Share on other sites
luvtoto Posted September 27, 2006 Share Posted September 27, 2006 I just broke up with someone that was perfect in most ways too.. she wasn't the one though.. She made tons of money had a beautiful home and great kids and was really good to me and showed me a great deal of respect... She also included me in her life without any strings Butttttttttt........ The spark wasn't there.... Sorry, A_C. It is just soo difficult to find that spark isn't it. Link to post Share on other sites
PuppyDogEyes Posted September 27, 2006 Share Posted September 27, 2006 I met this guy a few months ago. I have been spending a lot of time with him. He is perfect. Sweet, honest, loves my kid, makes a lot of money (can easily support me and my son), loves animals, my friends and family like him, and I can't find anything wrong with him. But at the same time, I find myself trying to find reasons not to like him. I want him just to disappear at times. When I am with him things are great, but when I leave I start thinking up things of why I shouldn't be with him or I think maybe I just won't answer his phone calls anymore. I don't know what is wrong with me. We never fight, we have alot in common...help!! I believe that I am also a committment-phobe, so I can definitely relate to what you are saying. Recently, I broke up with one of the sweetest, most understanding men on the planet - a lot of it had to do with my difficulties in dealing with the past, but I would also keep saying things like, "It's not you, it's me"... I never felt secure enough in his love or understanding to really relax and feel as if I deserved him. I did a lot of what you're doing - avoiding his phone calls/IMs, picking fights with him, trying to find reasons for him to find someone else, etc. Then I'd feel horribly guilty and cling to him, wondering just what the hell was wrong with me that I would do such things... The closer he would get to making a committment, the faster and further I would run. Unfortunately, I don't have any solid advice as to what to tell you to do. From what I've been reading so far, the committment-phobe is "unfixable". I hope for my sake that that's not true, or I'll be alone for the rest of my life - not an appetizing prospect, I can assure you. Is there maybe just not an attraction? What is it about him that seems to annoy you? I would maybe sit down and make a pro/con list - I know, it's old advice, but it may help you out. Being committment-phobic is a pretty serious self-diagnosis. - pde. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted September 27, 2006 Share Posted September 27, 2006 Sorry, A_C. It is just soo difficult to find that spark isn't it. Thanks.. I've had it before.. and I'll find it again .. So will you... I think sometimes it just hits ya like a 2x4 while you aren't looking Link to post Share on other sites
luvtoto Posted September 27, 2006 Share Posted September 27, 2006 Thanks.. I've had it before.. and I'll find it again .. So will you... I think sometimes it just hits ya like a 2x4 while you aren't looking Once a person has experienced *the spark*...they'll never settle for less. No way, I could never do that. Hits like a 2x4, huh? Yea, I guess you are right, A_C. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted September 27, 2006 Share Posted September 27, 2006 Once a person has experienced *the spark* once...they'll never settle for less. No way, I could never do that. Hits like a 2x4, huh? Yea, I guess you are right, A_C. You are right ... I have only felt it twice.. a GF from a couple of years is the most recent sighting though I think you are right that once you have felt it you won't settle for no spark Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jeepwranglrchick Posted October 2, 2006 Author Share Posted October 2, 2006 Thanks for all the help....I appreciate, but I hope I am not lost in this being scard of commitment thing..... Link to post Share on other sites
DaZed&CoNfuSeD_L0vE Posted October 2, 2006 Share Posted October 2, 2006 i almost broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years because of a friend who claims he loves me....i cant think of ever losing my boyfriend but you know what I have done it beofre and I didnt like it and I think I might make the mistake of leaving him again...and the thing is he can give me whatever I want..there is a thread on this so please help.. And yes I do agree dont hurt the ones who love you <3 Link to post Share on other sites
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