Don't know what to make of this

[thecount]

I have posted about my situation before. A little recap for those who don't know.

 

I've been dating my g/f for over a year now. We've hit a bump in the road 2 or 3 months ago. She left once without notice, but came back a day later saying she got nervous about our whole relationship. meaning I may have wanted her to move in, get married. She thought I may have wanted to take the relationship to the next level. Which I do, but I not going to force it if she doesn't want to... but like she says. I "may want to someday".

 

She is 15 years younger then me. so I do understand the whole commitment thing. It is a big step, but when we first started dating. She had asked me "if someday not now, will I want to move in, get married have kids with her". now she's panicking about it. At 25 she feels like she's getting old. doesn't care about my age, but her's...Holy Sh*t what a big go do.

 

My ordeal with her started when she began to speak with her exboyfriend. It started off with him calling her about his grandfather who has lung cancer. which she told me about that call. It was the other calls that she didnt' tell me about. The once that they would call eachother on a daily basis. Sometimes 2 to 3 times a day. This happend for a month. Then there was an e-mail to one of her friends that she accidentally sent me. In this e-mail there were more then one corresponding. the first read "forget about what I told you. I don't know what I was thinking". Then I contiuned to read ahead and it read. by the end of the summer she would be back with her ex, because they were getting along just fine now.

 

I was stunned. I confronted her with it and she said just what the last e-mail had said. " I didn't know what I was thinking". I love you and want to be with you and only you. I knew there was a problem because of the way she was acting. Very distant. I forgave her, but all that did something to me. tusting wise. I think I have good reason though.

 

Now she's back in school, she's doing student teaching, she can only work during the weekend, can't make the bills in the end of the month. She's feeling very depressed. and to add to this. Back in January she had a miscarriage, has been very miserble about it, and refuses to talk to anyone about it. Not even her family. Her sister just gave birth and those feelings came back full thottle.

she says "It should have been me who had the baby" . I don't know how to help her with this. She thinks that I don't care anymore after all this time, and that she's in this all on her own. (doesn't feel like a whole woman) Can she get over this? how can I help her with this.

 

She's been acting distant again, and I don't know what to make of it. If she wants out, which I asked her. she says no. If she's talking to someone else, She said no, Dose anyone think it's this misarrage thing that come back to haunt her? or am I just being an insesitive pr*ck? I do get on her case about being distant. but I would like to know what's going on with her? am I wrong about this? Is there another way that I can communicate with her about how she feels? I feel bad asking her if she's happy or sad. Feels like I'm interrogating her. I need some help with this, so that maybe I can be a little more understanding. Or maybe my intuition is right. There's someone else that she's talking to.

[gfto]

She's communicating frequently with an ex-boyfriend, and she's being distant with you. She has lost interest in you. Move on. I've been in this situation with a girl. The underlying problem was that she was no longer interested in me. I didn't realize it, because I was too interested in her. The more I tried to discuss it with her, the more distant she became. I guarantee that's what's happening with you. It is impossible to communicate with a woman who has simply lost interest in you, because she doesn't want to communicate with you. And, there's no point in asking her if she's seeing someone, or if she wants out, etc., because a woman will never say to you, "funny you should ask, but, yes, as a matter of fact, I am seeing someone," or, "yeah, I'm glad you asked. I really do want out of our relationship." It's over. Get out before she does, and don't look back or cling to hope that it's gonna get better.