Bluenose Posted September 26, 2006 Share Posted September 26, 2006 Hey there...I'm wondering if someone can help me out with this. My ex broke with me about 7 weeks ago, there was no real reason to end the relationship as far as i know apart from she had a lot on her plate with her family etc. At first I did the chasing after her etc and deep down I knew that wouldn't make the blindest piece of difference. I then found the thread on here about NC etc in order to win your ex back...well I avoided contact altogether and a couple of weeks ago she approached me and arranged to meet...well we met and had a great time and then instead of seeing each other again she started acting all weird and suddenly told me she was seeing someone else. Clearly this made me angry, i didn't give her a reaction...instead I emailed her to wish her well...I have got on with my life without her and i have even started dating other women and have met a girl I really like...although i still love my ex to pieces. These past few days my EX hasn't left me alone, and i'm not talking about asking me back...she's been really nasty to me online, said nasty SH*T to my friends about me...and I have a feeling that she may have found that i've moved on. I know this might sound daft but i have never experienced this before, can anyone answer my questions: Surely if someone doesn't want to be with you, they wouldn't feel the need to get nasty towards you? Why start seeing another guy when she'd arranged to see me? Is this girl playing games with my head or is there some logic to all this? Thanks for your thoughts Blue Link to post Share on other sites
Fun2BMe Posted September 26, 2006 Share Posted September 26, 2006 Surely if someone doesn't want to be with you, they wouldn't feel the need to get nasty towards you? That doesn't make sense. Why do you think that it's the people who do want to be with you would get nasty towards you? If she did want to be with you, I'd think she'd try to win you over with niceness rather than nastiness which would make a guy run in the other direction. Why start seeing another guy when she'd arranged to see me? Maybe she couldn't make up her mind if she wanted to be with the new guy or with you so she was seeing both of you at the same time. Is this girl playing games with my head or is there some logic to all this Maybe after she dumped you for the other guy, she realized that she'd rather be with you. But now that she wants to be with you, she's mad that you have moved on and weren't sitting around waiting for her. If she didn't love you enough to stay with you, then if you go back to her chances are as soon as another guy pays some attention to her, she'll leave you all over again. She thinks you're supposed to stay on the sidelines available for her at her whim, putting your life on hold. Seeing that you're not that desperate for her, she is mad at you and therefore getting nasty so that you will get hurt just like she's turned out to make herself hurt through her selfishness. Link to post Share on other sites
superconductor Posted September 26, 2006 Share Posted September 26, 2006 ...she's mad that you have moved on and weren't sitting around waiting for her... She thinks you're supposed to stay on the sidelines available for her at her whim, putting your life on hold... you're not that desperate for her... Exactly. That's one of the beauties of full-blown NC: There's now no doubt whatsoever that she KNOWS she made a bad decision, and you know that she's not rational. Link to post Share on other sites
bella_girl Posted September 26, 2006 Share Posted September 26, 2006 It sounds like jealously to me. She doesn't know how to handle the fact that you're moving on with your life and is jealous that she is not part of it. So she's hitting out by trying to make you look bad. Don't respond. Your friends should know who you are and not be influenced by crap that she is saying about you. It will pass. Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted September 26, 2006 Share Posted September 26, 2006 It sounds like jealously to me. She doesn't know how to handle the fact that you're moving on with your life and is jealous that she is not part of it. So she's hitting out by trying to make you look bad. Don't respond. Your friends should know who you are and not be influenced by crap that she is saying about you. It will pass. Ditto. She is only hurting you because you're letting her. Adopt an attitude of pity towards her. Link to post Share on other sites
Ukwizard Posted September 26, 2006 Share Posted September 26, 2006 Surely if someone doesn't want to be with you, they wouldn't feel the need to get nasty towards you? Makes perfect sense. She`s jealous. Either that its because your doing NC, and she`s misunderstood you for ignoring her. Some people get angry if you ignore them. It sounds like the tables have turned, and she`s wanting your attention again. Link to post Share on other sites
Dellie Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 Hey there...I'm wondering if someone can help me out with this. My ex broke with me about 7 weeks ago, there was no real reason to end the relationship as far as i know apart from she had a lot on her plate with her family etc. At first I did the chasing after her etc and deep down I knew that wouldn't make the blindest piece of difference. I then found the thread on here about NC etc in order to win your ex back...well I avoided contact altogether and a couple of weeks ago she approached me and arranged to meet...well we met and had a great time and then instead of seeing each other again she started acting all weird and suddenly told me she was seeing someone else. Clearly this made me angry, i didn't give her a reaction...instead I emailed her to wish her well...I have got on with my life without her and i have even started dating other women and have met a girl I really like...although i still love my ex to pieces. These past few days my EX hasn't left me alone, and i'm not talking about asking me back...she's been really nasty to me online, said nasty SH*T to my friends about me...and I have a feeling that she may have found that i've moved on. I know this might sound daft but i have never experienced this before, can anyone answer my questions: Surely if someone doesn't want to be with you, they wouldn't feel the need to get nasty towards you? Why start seeing another guy when she'd arranged to see me? Is this girl playing games with my head or is there some logic to all this? Thanks for your thoughts Blue Its the old classic - doesnt want you but doesnt want anyone else to have you either. Sounds to me youd be better off away from it Link to post Share on other sites
dr strangelove Posted October 3, 2006 Share Posted October 3, 2006 Not sure if any of this helps out. Cant really know what your ex is thinking unless you are inside her head, or if she actually tells you. However, alot of times you can guess why people do things by trying to decipher their actions. I had this ex.. well "the ex" I usually refer to. I tried to brake up with her at times or even after we had broke up she was nasty. I asked a counsellor I was seeing why was she nasty. He pointed out that she was hurt and instead of reverting to being nice to win me back, she went exorcist on me (just kidding sort of) So... Now heres something else to consider. Sometimes the other "guy" or "girl" is completely fictious. Basically they do not exist. This may or may not help, you have a few options 1) continue to ignore her till she calms down 2) listen to her ranting till she calms down Shes somewhat unstable and you have to keep that in mind when dealing with her. Link to post Share on other sites
gfto Posted October 5, 2006 Share Posted October 5, 2006 You should have completely disappeared as soon as she dumped you seven weeks ago. You don't arrange to meet up with her, hang out, or any of that nonsense. You simply leave. Her talking crap about you is most likely because she has somehow found out that you are getting along just fine without her. When a woman dumps you, and you just smile, take it in stride, and start lining up new dates, it really tweaks her ego. Therefore, she'll try to pull all sorts of crap with you, including setting up meetings here and there. But, don't confuse that for some sort of renewed interest on her part. She isn't interested in you; she just has a bruised ego. Just disappear on her. Link to post Share on other sites
ImInPain Posted October 6, 2006 Share Posted October 6, 2006 Just like everyone else said she is jealous. Just go no contact and move on with your life. She is starting to see what she lost and is angry with herself so she is displacing that anger on to you. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
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