Some Q's for the women on here about confidence.

[Green]

Look a butt ugly guy can score with hot ass chicks if he knows what he's doing. all you really have to do is become a manager at some resteraunt which isnt the hardest thing in life to acomplish and you'd probably get some hot waitress tail sooner or later even if you were abu from aladin. As for women your never going to get any with that attitude, I'm not the best looking guy in fact some of the people I've been compared to at times are down right the most unatractive people ever, but then again I've got some of the hottest chicks of all time I'm my own living legend. You just have to do things with style man and do them full force thats what being a man is about when it comes to turning on girls. So you stop with your excuses, you shut up about how you love playing video games and you go out there and get some girl so ****ed up that she rapes you... which brings me to another sugestion that I havent seen mentioned try drinking alot maybe drunk you has more of this thing you think girls like so much called confidence. Ok now I've waisted my time once again tring to help you out of your life time slump now make me proud

[Ross_K]

Look if you really want to get a girl to like you, buy one really nice outfit go to a great hang out in the city and tell the ladies your a writer, or a photographer, or some other glamerouse occupation such as doctor what ever you want.

 

That wont work, since for one I have SA, and for another even if I did go to some club or bar on my own no woman would approach me anyway.

 

If they did though, and I told them I was a doctor or whatever, what would I have to do after that? How would I go from that to having sex with her at her place?

 

Now if thats not working for you just pertend every girl likes you and hit on any one you like and dont mention how your bad with girls or ask them if they think your attractive, or complain about anything. Just hit on any girl you could see yourself with and before you know it you'll have one and if you get rejected just shrug it off it happens to the best of us.

 

I wont be able to do that because of social anxiety, and the fatc is, I don't know how to hit on girls anyway.

 

Oh and if you actualy get a girls number and dates and stuff dont be to much of a puss to try to get physical with them you know plant one of them snogs or what ever on the first date and try to touch them on the first meeting like a long hand shake or a hug or something. And try not to think about girls so much, who cares if they like confident men or not just think about yourself and what you want and about making some kind of life for yourself better than the one you seem to have now.

 

I think the physical stuff will just happen naturally. Like if I'm sat there with her and it feels wrong to just suddenly start kissing her, or to suddenly start feeling her breasts or whatever while I'm kissing her, that'll be because it probably is.

 

If the time is right for it and she's receptive then it should happen naturally, unless my judgement of whether the time and situation is right to make the first move is clouded because of feeling nervous (but maybe I wouldn't feel nervous, I dunno). But trust me, if she made the first move and made it obvious she wanted to have sex, there is absolutley no way I'd be too scared to be physical with her.

[Ross_K]

Look a butt ugly guy can score with hot ass chicks if he knows what he's doing. all you really have to do is become a manager at some resteraunt which isnt the hardest thing in life to acomplish and you'd probably get some hot waitress tail sooner or later even if you were abu from aladin.

 

I don't really think that'd be the right kind of job for me.

 

As for women your never going to get any with that attitude, I'm not the best looking guy in fact some of the people I've been compared to at times are down right the most unatractive people ever, but then again I've got some of the hottest chicks of all time I'm my own living legend. You just have to do things with style man and do them full force thats what being a man is about when it comes to turning on girls. So you stop with your excuses, you shut up about how you love playing video games

 

I never go around telling girls that I like video games.

 

and you go out there and get some girl so ****ed up that she rapes you... which brings me to another sugestion that I havent seen mentioned try drinking alot maybe drunk you has more of this thing you think girls like so much called confidence.

 

Being drunk actually makes me feel more awkward.

 

Ok now I've waisted my time once again tring to help you out of your life time slump now make me proud

 

The only thing I can do really is just hope that medication and CBT helps with my social anxiety and then try and meet girls through the Internet.

[whichwayisup]

Don't look so far into the future, deal with the now and take it slowly...

 

Until you're well into therapy, and you can feel/see the changes in yourself, there's no point of projecting life into the future, as it's only going to make you feel anxious.

 

You know I suffer from an anxiety disorder, and the one thing that REALLY can set me off if I think about it too much is the future...Things will fall into place as they will. Right now, things are as they're supposed to be. You're about to start therapy and so it's best right now to focus on that aspect of your life. Worry about the ladies when you're feeling more confident in yourself...

 

The CBT will help you so much, but I will say this - Don't hide and use the internet to meet women, it's best for you to slowly confront your fears and deal with them head on. You have social anxiety - Your therapist will slowly get you to open up, learn how to "be" in public, and talk to people...In a library, in a grocery store, wherever..

[Ross_K]

But why not use the Internet if it's going to be way way easier to meet women? And if I do meet someone it'll happen a lot sooner by using the internet than trying to get one offline.

[dgiirl]

its long been known that having the ability to fly turns girls on atleast most of them.

 

Sadly, I have to admit this seems to be true. I went to a house party once, and there were two guys who were pilots. All the girls were totally flaunting themselves in front of them. But OMG these guys were such dumbasses! They were soooo drunk and rough housing each other in my friends appartment, and this was the first time they ever met my friend. On top of that, they invited this girl they met in the elevator to my friend's house party. Something I'd expect teens to do, they were doing at the age of 30. It was so sad, but all these girls were flauting themselves in front of them. Meh, to each his own.

[alphamale]

I went to a house party once, and there were two guys who were pilots. All the girls were totally flaunting themselves in front of them. But OMG these guys were such dumbasses!

Women love masculinity, whether it is "dumb" or "smart"...

[dgiirl]

I think whichway is right here. At the moment you are so caught up on meeting women. But that's such a BIG step from where you currently are. If you have SA, you need to take baby steps and confront the fears slowly. First, start with talking to strangers (young old, men women) at public places. Once you get a feel for that, then work your way up to asking women out on dates. But right now you are trying to run before you even know how to crawl.

[dgiirl]

Women love masculinity, whether it is "dumb" or "smart"...

 

yes but there's a difference between men and boys too

[Green]

Just get some ugly ass girl she can be your slump buster

[quietintrovertgirl]

KMT,

 

What advice is that stud muffin?Is this the same man who's afraid of being discipline from a virgin woman.Dude You can't even handle me.:laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:

[justmehere]

ross is what i have to say is this: when i met my dh he was SHORTER then me by about an inch! ithought, ok, just friends. that was 8 years ago! he is now even shorter then me! my point is. i was never ever attracted to him but he is a dynamo and full of power and confidence and i never would of seen that had i overlooked him for his height. great things come in small packages. so dont be discouraged. the right girl will find you for what is for inside you not what you lack inside but what you have inside!

[noclobber]

Ross,

 

I feel for you man! I mean, if you are not able to understand what the terms "believing in yourself" and "self-worth" means then you seriously got a problem. Are you sure SA is the only problem you are having? Sorry, I am not trying to offend you but honestly you are sounding way too naive for a 30 year old English man.

 

Okay its very apparent that you have trouble talking to women. I can't see you starting conversations with a female that you meet in the streets or at the grocery store.

 

I have a suggestion for you. Please don't think I am trying to be sarcastic but here is what you got to do. Go to a strip club. There will be lot of naked woman doing acrobatics around a pole (no pun intended ). See which one stimulates you.. Then go upto her and say "hey I want to get a lap-dance from you". In the USA a lap dance costs around $20, I am not sure how it is in the UK. Whatever, just go and ask her for a dance. She will not say "you are ugly" or any such stupid remarks. She will take you to a private room and give you a dance. Try talking with that girl and also enjoy the dance. You can fondle her, snog her, feel her body, and taste her milkshakes. If you are lucky you may also feel her honey-pot.

 

The reason I am suggesting you this is you can kill two birds in one stone. I remember you telling that you were planning to call an escort service in another thread. By going to a strip club you get to talk to beautiful sexy women and also get physical without crossing the boundaries (if you know what I mean). They are not going to tell "I won't talk to you... you are very ugly". Just try and have a conversation going. You also get to "enjoy" while talking .

 

You can take baby steps and slowly build your confidence. Slowly start going out and say sentences like "It's nice weather outside" to a pretty girl that is crossing the road with you. Begin with just plain one liners. Those do not necessarily evoke a response. Then you can start having dialogues and conversations. Eventually you will start flirting and complimenting women. Once you reach this stage you will start getting phone numbers from females and start going out with them. Don't go out as friends, make sure they are dates.

 

Once you do get a date come back here and ask for advice. The ladies and gentlemen of LS will then tell you what you got to do to get your girl's panties off and taste her sweet wet cha cha

 

-- NC

[quietintrovertgirl]

noclobber,

It's easy getting a casual sex woman panties off her butt.A man doesn't need a brain or advice for that one.what!!!!!!!!!!!Why go to a strip club and waste money.There are free H* at every club or bar.Ross can practice talking to them.

[noclobber]

It's easy getting a casual sex woman panties off her butt.A man doesn't need a brain or advice for that one.what!!!!!!!!!!!Why go to a strip club and waste money.There are free H* at every club or bar.Ross can practice talking to them.

 

If you read all of his posts you will understand that it is indeed difficult.

 

I know that its unwise to waste money by going to a strip club but he was planning to call an escort. Trust me it's way more costlier!

[Lights]

noclobber,

It's easy getting a casual sex woman panties off her butt.A man doesn't need a brain or advice for that one.what!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Actually, no, it's certainly not easy for everyone. For an example, I've found it quite difficult to find women who will even talk to me, let alone seduce them outright on the spot. And I do have the ability to talk to people.

[lindya]

When you honeys say you like confidence in men, what exactly do you mean by confidence, someone who is really extraverted?

 

Not necessarily. Some very sociable and outgoing men can nonetheless carry an air of insecurity about them which is offputting. That insecurity tends to show when people are constantly attempting to get validation from others or behaving in a sycophantic (arse-licking) manner. This is often an issue in the "nice guy" threads. It can be hard for others to respect someone who is on a constant mission to please, and tiring to deal with the neediness their behaviour stems from.

 

Conversely, someone who makes too much of an issue about not needing anyone's approval can seem insecure in the "protesting too much" sense. Getting the balance right probably isn't so much a learned art as the natural result of being in good emotional health.

[Green]

QuietIntrovert is right there will always be one easy ass chick at one of the bars you visit on a Saturday night. As for you Kross when are you going to give us an update on you actually going out this weekend and making a few moves. I'd be proud of you even if you failed miserably at this point go out there and make an effort for god sakes.

[Ross_K]

Just get some ugly ass girl she can be your slump buster

 

What's a slump buster?

 

Anyway, I can't get any girl, and I mean any girl, even someone who would be classed as a skank. Women just aren't interested in me offline.

[Ross_K]

noclobber,

It's easy getting a casual sex woman panties off her butt.A man doesn't need a brain or advice for that one.what!!!!!!!!!!!Why go to a strip club and waste money.There are free H* at every club or bar.Ross can practice talking to them.

 

R, you always say this.

 

For some of us it is really really not that easy, for example as far as offline is concerned, women, even really ugly ones with low social status's aren't interested in me.

 

No woman has ever acted interested in me.

[quietintrovertgirl]

KMT the stud muffin is right(say what!)There is alway one easy ass woman at a bar and club who will have sex with anybody. I can go to a bar or club and find a woman to have sex with me.

[Ross_K]

So what are you supposed to do then, just go up to every single woman in a club or a bar and ask them if they'll have sex with you?

 

I can't see that working.

[noclobber]

Anyway, I can't get any girl, and I mean any girl, even someone who would be classed as a skank. Women just aren't interested in me offline.

 

Dude you sound way too pessimistic!

 

Yes of course you didn't get any woman in the past.... But that is the past.

 

Don't let your past get in the way of your future.

[Green]

I wouldnt ask every women in the bar for sex unless you wanted to get your ass kicked a couple times but if you did ask every women for sex at around 2:00 am all weekend long at every bar you'd for sure get atleast one. You'd be better off saying lets go somewhere quiet so we can talk and then taking them back to yours or there place. and oh yeah hit on every single girl even if you think you have no chance. the only ones you should not hit on are the ones you have absolutely no atraction to and try not to be picky. Just say "HI" real loud, "Whats going on tonight" "Why should I get to know you better" say it all loud and as confident sounding as you can then wait and listen to every answer try to get them talking then either ask for the digits or do that wanna go back to your place, don say sex unless you have to and do it tonight bioch

[lindya]

So what are you supposed to do then, just go up to every single woman in a club or a bar and ask them if they'll have sex with you?

 

I can't see that working.

 

No. You'd probably just end up a bloodied mess on the floor of the bouncers' restroom.

 

The matter of your anxiety can be addressed in counselling, but I doubt it'll be assisted by you going into clubs and pubs and nervously propositioning girls for sex. Without wishing to sound offensive, your whole mindset about this is like that of a 12 year old boy who regards girls as some alien species. If you find it hard to even talk to women in real life, it's hard to see how any attempt to have a sexual encounter with one of us would work out.

 

On that basis, what about visiting a prostitute (obviously taking all the necessary precautions to safeguard your health) and doing whatever it is people do in order to ensure the prostitute isn't going to collude with some pimp in thieving your wallet - or otherwise ripping you off.

 

I know I'll get flamed for this, because of this rosy view some of the posters here have that virginity is something everyone must lose in a special, love-filled, candle-lit situation. Of course it's better to have sex with someone you love in an idyllic location - but let's be realistic here. You're a 30 year old virgin with an anxiety disorder and you need to start somewhere.

 

Gaining some first hand knowledge of the basic mechanics of sex with an experienced prostitute will leave you with one less life event to feel anxious and uncertain about, and the chances are that as long as you treat her with a bit of respect and are upfront about the situation (ie your lack of experience) she'll probably handle the matter in a reasonably sensitive and straightforward manner.

 

It doesn't help you in the matter of learning to talk to girls - but as this thread quickly turned into a discussion of how you can get laid, going to a prostitute seems the most reliable and straightforward method. You get something out of it (experience) and you avoid inflicting the trauma of a fumbled, clueless grope on some unsuspecting girl you met in a club. Not to mention the trauma on yourself if she reacts badly to your inexperience. You get laid, and the prostitute gets paid for helping you out with a matter you've been spending God knows how much time stressing over.