How do I get closer to him?

[BlueEyedGirl]

I have known this guy for almost a year. We met through friends and hang out on regular basis with a group of people. Few times I have helped him study for university exams. He is a very talkative guy. BUT even though we talk a lot, our conversations are always superficial. We discuss university or debate on world events, politics etc. So I never get a feeling that we share anything really personal or intimate. When I hear him talking to others, he talks about same kind of stuff, so I wouldn't say he is any closer to me than he is to any random person he is in contact with.

 

I have noticed him checking me out a number of times and we did share some sex jokes. It is like physical attraction is there, we can talk about intellectual stuff but we are lacking emotional connection if that makes sense.

 

Maybe part of the problem is that I haven't opened up to him either. I hardly talk about myself which is because I work a lot and have no life and I don't want him to know how pathetic my life really is. Of course I could make up stuff, but I don't want to lie. Again, even if I did try to talk about myself more, I have no clue if he would in turn return the favour and open up. For all I know he wouldn't.

 

When we are alone, we are never lacking conversation, it's just that conversation is dry and generic.

 

Now for my question: I really like this guy and would like to somehow get closer to him emotionally but I don't know how to go about it. Also there is a big possibility that we just don't get along well enough to get closer and I have to accept things as they are.

 

Any ideas?

 

P.S. The guy is single.

[MsArtful]

I've found that after I have opened up to someone about a problem or something personal, that admission of them into my trust then led to them opening up to me and forming a much deeper and rich friendship than before. If you feel you know him well enough, and the time is right, you should open up to him. Sometimes it is something that happens gradually, until you get to the point where you feel you can talk freely to someone, because of the time you've spent together leading to a mutual trust. Try talking about things that you are passionate about and you mind strike up a common interest which in turn leads to topics that are of a more personal or perhaps natural substance. It depends on both him and you, don't rush things, or try and force something.

If you like him in that way, try flirting, or asking him out. Going on a date or outing is a much better way of getting to know some one than studying with them, because often people keep their work or school commitments very separate from other aspects of their lives.

[hopeto]

Go ahead and till the boy that you like him more than a friend. you will probley be suprised on the reaction you get. he is probly struggling with the same exzact thing you are:o what is the wost that can happen??? he tells you that he is not intrested in a relationship? OOOO...KKKKK then you still stay good friends and you can now search for the next bow in your life? you see that problem with the relationships now is there is no talking and it gets stale!!!! if you keep the conversations open then you can pretty much bank that you will have open talking in the relationship!!