I lost the best thing that ever happened to me.

[Guest]

I was only together with my ex-girlfriend for about two months before we started talking about future plans together (i.e. a house, wedding rings etc.) Then for some stupid reason I became this overbearing, jealous, selfish guy that said things I didn't mean in the heat of an arguement. We had an absolutely great relationship until I started messing it up. I know without a doubt that I found the right one but I just don't understand why I couldn't get over these petty feelings of doubt and unworthiness.

 

I found myself wanting all her time and getting mad when she hung out with her friends and family and not me. I would get mad and call her names and tell her that she should just get back with her ex boyfriend. I burned some huge bridges and now she doesn't want anything to do with me. I tried to send her flowers, buy her things, write letters, send text messages, tell her I'm sorry and so on. Nothing seems to be working. I have lost my true love. I was engaged before her and that didnt' work out either but looking back that was a good thing that we didn't work out because it led me to finding my true love. But I didn't learn from my previous mistakes and now I've lost her too.

 

I don't know how to move on. I don't want to move on. But at the same time I don't want to be this guy that can't take a hint. She's made it very obvious that she doesn't want me anymore. We've been apart now for about 4 months. I don't know if she's seeing anyone else but I think she might be. What makes it worse is that she's my neighbor. She lives right above me in the same apartment complex. I'm about 3 weeks away from moving into my first house and I'm scared that I will never get her back. I have a great career job and now a house. My life is great except there is a huge void in my heart with her name on it.

 

I honestly don't know how I can live happily without her. I feel alittle crazy sometimes at how much I think about her but I honestly think it's just because I love her so much and I wish she would just give me one last chance cause I know I could do better for her. I have ran out of ideas of getting her back and I'm not ready to face the fact that I've lost her for good even though she says thats what she wants.

 

I want that story book ending. I want to beable to show her that she means the absolute world to me. I didn't realize the extent of my love for her until I found myself without her. I've never been so depressed in my life and I'm not a depressing person normally. I can't get over this pain that I have caused. If anyone has any advice I would greatly appreciate it. I would do anything to win her love back because I know I can be the person that she fell in love with. Help..........

[D-Lish]

I am in a similar situation. I loved my ex boyfriend to pieces, yet because of my trust and abandonment issues, I pushed him away from me with my behaviour.

 

I became jealous, irritable and standoffish near the end of our relationship and I couldn't stop myself... even though I loved him and wanted to be a different person.

 

The sad truth is that sometimes that kind of damage is irreversible. No amount of begging and pleading will change their minds once they make them up.

 

I am going crazy wishing I had a second chance to make it up to him- but he won't listen to me and has cut off all contact with me.

 

I think the only thing we can do is make an effort to make the changes necessary to make us better partners in the future... but it won't be with our exes.

 

It's a hard lesson to learn- but we do have to learn from our mistakes and not keep making them in our next relationships.

 

Good luck.

[aikim]

Wow from your post you really seemed like the jealous and overprotective bf. Sometimes losing someone very significant in your life helps you to reeavaluate yourself and I think that's what you're doing right now. From what I gather from your post, you point out that you were jealous of her spending time with her friends and you were overbearing, so at least you do realize that. I think your ex might be afraid to take you back because you won't change and she doesn't want to deal with that again. But if you really love someone I believe you can really change. It's just up to the ex to believe that you can really change your ways or not.