almostthere Posted September 27, 2006 Share Posted September 27, 2006 I was just sitting here feeling especially loving towards my bf and how much i miss him today while we are at work. A feeling that happens almost everyday and it is mutual. I never thought after being with someone for a year and knowing them before that for 6 months things could keep getting better without the eventual break down. Today is a rather slow boring day at work today so i have been reading a lot on here today. Sometimes it seems to me that everyone gets sick of their SO at some point. and how sad it is that people cannot find ways to keep the ties that bind us at first strong even years into our relationship. I mean i fall victim to it too...i am divorced. my bf and I are very respectful of each other. i think it is because through one marriage each we learned the proper things to do and say. and through hours of communication getting to know each other. I mean it wasnt always easy as some people know who read and answered my threads. but inside him i saw someone really kind and good hearted and i have not been proven wrong by him yet. I just think it is so sad that eventually things start to go wrong. how is it we marry our best friends and then later in life lose track of them so badly? I just seems like everyone is having affairs these days and forgetting to ask themselves how would i feel if he did this to me? talked to another woman, took her out to lunch while he was crushing on her, emailing her...so on and so forth. it just seems as we all secretly wish not to be cheated on that its ok to cheat on someone else. how sad is that? I dont know...just bored and thinking a lot today. Link to post Share on other sites
laRubiaBonita Posted September 27, 2006 Share Posted September 27, 2006 Sometimes it seems to me that everyone gets sick of their SO at some point. and how sad it is that people cannot find ways to keep the ties that bind us at first strong even years into our relationship. I think a common misconception is that we tend to forget that people change, relationships will hopefully evolve with those changes for both partners, but many times they do not. kids change things; money, or lack there of changes things.... all these stressors both negative and positive WILL change a person and then their relationships to others. The best thing, IMO, to do is learn how, as a couple to deal with the different challenges you may face as you grow. Link to post Share on other sites
Mirage222 Posted September 28, 2006 Share Posted September 28, 2006 I hear you Almosthere! People do change so much and that's not a bad thing as long as you change together!! I don't understand the mis love, the no love, the disrespect, the cheating that comes out of some people's relationships and why they "put up" with it ... Happiness truly IS everything! Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted September 29, 2006 Share Posted September 29, 2006 I truly believe part of it is unrealistic expectations of marriage. I already have a best friend- and I have no intention of replacing him. My wife is my wife and someone I love deeply- but she is not my best friend. Its when we tend to look at marriage with rose colored glasses we get a very distorted view of marriage and then get disappointed. If you accept that their will be ups and downs like anything, that things wont always go the way you want- you have a chance. Can you live with the fact that while you think he is your best friend, secretely he doesnt view you as his best friend? Or that their may be times he doesnt want to spend the evening with you , and would rather be with his buddies? Will you nag, complain, and give a guilt trip so he doesnt go? That will lead to resentment- and more likely to cheating, etc. Or will you encourage him to have his time, and not get pouty when things dont go the way you expect them to go? Link to post Share on other sites
sumdude Posted September 30, 2006 Share Posted September 30, 2006 Well, people often come to this site and others like it because there are relationship problems. So I wouldn't necessarily take loveshack as a cross section of society as a whole. Folks whose relationships are working out probably don't have as much of a need to seek out help or a place to blow off steam. From what I see around me most people aren't having affiars. There are bumps in the road and marriage is always a work in progress. What is it they say? Sometimes it's all about the journey and not the destination. Link to post Share on other sites
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