My story

[narcist_ave]

Met my boyfriend about a year and a half ago. 2 weeks together I find out he has a child. Children are great, yea. but my past experiences I didnt want a boyfriend with a child, but I held on anyway.

 

Months later, after going thru his phone (yea, I shouldnt:lmao: have but funny i was right..) and discover he had went to my friends house late one night, after lying to me saying he fixed a car. (He had a text from her saying she was waiting for him!!! I blew this off cause the "guys car he fixed" and the girls name sort of look the same...

 

haha, again months later, really this isnt funny and it kills me.., months later I find an empty condom wrapper (not the condom but the wrapper) In his jean pockets. He had cheated on me with his ex. this was exactly a yr ago.

 

from that point on for the next several months our relationship was rocky and is just now continuing to go back to being solid.

 

a lot of people ask my why I stick with the man and its because beyond our problems and underneath the surface there is something there. although I forgive him I am continously doubting him.

 

Ive never met his son actually only once when he brought him to my job for 5 minutes..., his ex, his mom, etc. Sometimes, rarely, i think its a waisted time. it seems every mnth theres another problem. Not only did he cheat on me but he continued to persue buying a house with her, which they never did. Now he is with me all the time, forever telling me how much he loves me and he's done wioth her but i cant help but worry

 

a piece of me wants revenge. bad. but another peice of me beleives He's changed. But really, guilt can make a man think he's changed while love makes the woman beleive it.

 

I think Im just posting this because it bothers me and I need to vent it.

 

I find myself grabbing his phone at every chance (I HAVENT LATELY ) to see if there are anymore texts from his ex or other girls. QUITE recently I found a txt from his ex stating Hi sweetie can u call me later your son wants to talk to you.. ok fine but sweetie?? that is my man.

 

So now, im starting to see anothe rpicture to this story. I beleive he's done with her, but i do not beleive he is laying the law down in telling her Its over dont speak to me like that.

 

Sometimes i just want to leave him, completely and silently but the other half says he and i are worth this fight. I wonder if cheating would make me feel better, and in honesty no. I take pride knowing im not the one who ****ed up.

 

as if it wasnt bad enough he cheateed with my friend:mad:, its worse that it was in the process of me being kicked from one home, (and i mean for no reason, long story ... ) and attempting to find another apartment to move into.

 

I beleive he is changed, but i desperately:sick: want to diig deeper into his life. and it makes me feel like im crazy or psycho:confused:...? If i had a car i bet i would probly stop at his job every once in awhile to check up on him.

 

Yes, things are starting to turn around... my doubts are simmering but i know will forever remain somewhat there. 1 1/2 yr with him and still i sometimes feel like his shadow, his secret when I know that I am not. I have never been hurt by anyone like this. its been a yr since he cheated.. lord that I know about. I know he wants to make this work. His personality proves this, or else he would have been gone. but still sometimes I wonder.

 

I am a really nice person, and hate hurting ppl. but sometimes i feel ugly and want to sleep with his best friend or his brother or something. But now because of an incident a yr ago Im just a jealous nosey bitch at times.

 

 

I watched the gilmore girls last night and the mom was syaing to her friend about her relationship: "its like hes in the car driving and he has the passenger seat locked and wont let me in, i dont even want him to open the door for me just unlock it and let me in, but no instead I have hold onto the bumper and be dragged a long and i end up with bruises and scarpes and hurts to much to keep holding on" and i thought that should be me saying that.

 

anyway, atm things are going great. he's proving himself to me. But anyone can do anything at any given time, this ive learned the hard way.

 

thanks for reading.

[Joe's Girl]

Wow! You are a trooper. I definitely feel your pain though. A good man is definitely worth fighting for. But then again, when you are being hurt in the process there is a point when you have to say that enough is enouh. I wish you the best of luck.