prenups?

[almostthere]

My bf and i briefly had a decussion on prenups. I said i would want one he said he wouldnt want one.

 

What are some of your opinions on prenups? Is it wrong to want to safe guard the things you have worked so hard for in your life with or without him?

[bluechocolate]

In this country a prenuptial agreement isn't recognised in court.

 

Personally I can understand why some people would want one. I think if one or both of the partners are bringing assets into the marriage then they have some right to protect those assets in the event of a divorce. I mean, if you paid off your house or saved a $hit-load in the bank before meeting & getting married why should you have to split that with your partner? Assets accumulated whilst in the marriage are a different story. Also, some people probably just want to make sure they're not being duped by a gold-digger!

[tikigods]

I think a person has every right to protect his or her own assets when going into a marriage. I don't look at it as "WE are going to fail" but as something that in case somthing does happen down the line you know what is yours and what isn';t

[Art_Critic]

I think it does depend on the divorce laws of the state you are in.

 

The state I'm in ( Ga ) you don't need prenups as only marital assets are considered to be divided and inheritances are not considered.

It is known as an equitable distribution state

 

Basically it means that you leave the marriage with what you entered with and any assets or networth gained during the marriage are split fairly ( not 50/50 ).

 

So the way I look at prenups in my state is that they will cause hurt feelings and possibly cause a breakup of an otherwise good union.

 

They can drive a wedge of distrust between people that never existed before.

[alphamale]

Basically it means that you leave the marriage with what you entered with and any assets or networth gained during the marriage are split fairly ( not 50/50 ).

what if you get the inheritance while you're married. wouldn't it be considered community property?

[Art_Critic]

what if you get the inheritance while you're married. wouldn't it be considered community property?

 

Nope.. you get to keep it all... providing it is invested in investments in only your name.

 

Once the inheritance is given you have to protect it by not making it a marital asset ie: cashing it all in an buying a house in both names..

if you do that it is harder for a court to unravel it from it being only inheritance and not marital.

The chances are is that the inheritance will be gievn to you in your name only and not your spouses.

 

If you want to protect it by merging it with marital money later when you are married then you might need a premarital agreement not a prenup

 

But that is in my state.. Ga is not a community property state

[Craig]

Prenups can be a good thing. Look at it this way, if you don't have one then you are accepting the 'boiler plate' one size fits all prenup that the state has prepared for you. Everyone that gets married essentially has a prenup (prepared by the state and contained in family/marriage/divorce law) whether they realize it or not, the question really is do you want yours customized for your specific requirements or not.

 

Check with an attorney/lawyer/barrister in your particular jurisdiction and get the full scoop on them. Be sure to talk to someone that specializes in that type of law.

 

In some jurisdictions prenups (or anti-nuptial agreements) need to be followed up by an additional agreement (post nuptial agreement) after you get married to be completely enforceable.

[Mirage222]

Do you have more then him? Does he have anything? See, if both parties have assets I would see no problem with a pre-nup. But then you get the 1 (you) who is for it and 2 (your b/f) who says no.. leads me to believe that he has nothing asset wise..

[Moose]

Prenups are a pre-determined out.

 

They don't belong in any marriage IMO.

[a4a]

Prenups are a pre-determined out.

 

They don't belong in any marriage IMO.

 

 

Actually some can be a damn good deterent to not get out.

 

Cheater clause is a good one in a prenup. Mutual assests gained in the prenup may deter one from leaving.

 

You cheat you get nothin' sucka! Hell of a good reason for some not to cheat.

[Art_Critic]

Prenups are a pre-determined out.

 

Isn't also divorce ? .. I mean if the marriage doesn't work then we can always get a divorce..

 

 

so.. in my mind prenups being a pre-determined out doesn't hold water..

 

A prenup is about protecting assets

 

One of my sisters and her new husband signed one..

They both had homes and about the same networth going into the marriage..

they just wanted to protect everything they had worked 35 years building..

But they also live in SC...

[hotgurl]

i think pre-nups are a good thing. Everything is spelled out and if you divorce it makes it less bitter because you don't have to fight as much.

 

art critic would GA protect assets from business owned prior to a marriage but acrued during the marriage?

[Moose]

The way I look at it, if you're not willing to share your entire life with someone without giving it your all, including your assets, then you have no business getting married in the first place.

[Art_Critic]

art critic would GA protect assets from business owned prior to a marriage but acrued during the marriage?

 

the business is protected ( shares etc ) but the value of the business gained during the marriage becomes a marital asset..

Something like that can be offset though with something like a 401-k. Your spouse may have a 401-k so half of that gain is yours and can be used to offset the gain in the business

 

 

If someone is willing to fight for such though....

[almostthere]

The problem is is that when people get married their intention is to share their entire life together. and everything in it. then one day he wakes up and decides the coworker in the tight little skirt is cuter then his wife of 5 -10 years and jumps in. then out of the marriage. and the cheating spouse still get 50/50. and yes i do have more that i have seriously worked hard for. I have had two jobs trying to bring my kids lifestyle back to where it was when i was married. I will not give that up even for the person i love the most. Because my kids wellbeing is way more important.

[hotgurl]

the business is protected ( shares etc ) but the value of the business gained during the marriage becomes a marital asset..

Something like that can be offset though with something like a 401-k. Your spouse may have a 401-k so half of that gain is yours and can be used to offset the gain in the business

 

 

If someone is willing to fight for such though....

 

I was asking because one of my bosses owns part of the family business that has been around since the 20's. Well before he got married he wasn't active in the business and afterwards he became active the VP and his ex tried to get part of the business very ugly.

[insomnie]

The problem is is that when people get married their intention is to share their entire life together. and everything in it. then one day he wakes up and decides the coworker in the tight little skirt is cuter then his wife of 5 -10 years and jumps in. then out of the marriage. and the cheating spouse still get 50/50. and yes i do have more that i have seriously worked hard for. I have had two jobs trying to bring my kids lifestyle back to where it was when i was married. I will not give that up even for the person i love the most. Because my kids wellbeing is way more important.

 

I think if you have kids, and you've been screwed once by someone you loved in the past...then it woud just be stupid not to sign one. I am all for love and sharing lives but I don't think that rosy ideals of romance should outweigh your children's wellbeing under any circumstances.

[CaterpillarGirl]

I really have no monetary assets, so I wouldn't ask for one. I would sign one, but really, I believe marriage is for life, so what's the point. (Someone can now point out my rose-colored naivete, if they wish)

 

I think a much better prenuptial pact would be to attend premarital counseling together. I think you'll come away with more than just a signed legal document.

[michelangelo]

I would get one to protect my kids inheritance if i were to marry again.

 

I own a house, ok, the bank owns a lot of it, but I want to pass that along to my kids.

 

The new wife can take care of herself by working and if I have any life insurance and she didn't poison me she'd get that.

 

Prenups by two young people with no assets or dependents don't make sense.

 

Just think if Paul MacCartney had had a prenup. Then his wife of four years would not have him by the shorts today.

[Moose]

I like to think that Paul MacCartney identifies himself with his achievements.

 

He'll bounce back.....

[Woggle]

Anybody with assets especially a man should have a prenup. Yeah we all want our marriages to last but the fact is that many times they don't and we need to protect ourselves. Why should a person lose everything they worked for just because their spouse wants out?

[kulyok]

I won't mind if we get no prenup: this way, all assets we gathered before marriage will still be our own, and all we earned in marriage will be split 50/50, as is the law here.

 

If we get a prenup, I would be all right with it, too. I am not a law professional, but I believe there is a "declarative" part that has no legal implications, and the real, "contract" part.

 

In declarative part, I'd write many beautiful things. Such as that we promise to love each other, and remember we are together for life, and trust each other, and rely on each other. Remind ourselves that, should we part, our children, should there be any, have both parents. Remind ourselves that we are sexual partners, and we want to keep the desire for each other. I would write that I am intending to sit home with kids until they are three, and then work - he would write something he wants to do. I would remind him that I do not cook - I am for eating out and ordering food - he might want to write something about splitting housekeeping duties. It has no legal implications, but it has huge psychological impact.

 

And in "contract" part I believe we'll get the most important items drawn out. Like who gets the primary custody after divorce, which assets should belong to one spouse alone, and which should belong to both, alimony in case one spouse becomes invalid, child support in case we divorce.

 

I would also put in the following point, if it is valid: in case of cheating(PI, photos, e-mails, other proof), and subsequent divorce(even if the divorce happens years later) the wayward spouse should pay the betrayed spouse alimony for life.

[mental_traveller]

The way I look at it, if you're not willing to share your entire life with someone without giving it your all, including your assets, then you have no business getting married in the first place.

 

But why should your personal view dictate how other people arrange their life?

[Starr1]

The way I look at it, if you're not willing to share your entire life with someone without giving it your all, including your assets, then you have no business getting married in the first place.

 

The way I see it, even with a prenup, you can share your whole life including your assets. Having a prenup will just ensure that everything you shared during the marriage will be returned to you accordingly once you seperate.

[RecordProducer]

I didn't sign any prenup. Hubby announced he'd give me one prior to the wedding, I said OK, then he said he'd do it later... He sold his company, but I haven't signed one yet.

 

It's all the same with me. I couldn't take anything that he's been working for for 30 years. In book it's the same as stealing your friend's wallet from the table. I can't take what's not mine, plus I know he'd give me something if he would dump me. And if I would dump him, I'd feel too guilty anyway.

 

I don't know if he trusts me or the law protects him anyway, because everything was earned prior to our marriage, but I like to think that he trusts me.

what if you get the inheritance while you're married. wouldn't it be considered community property?

No, the inheritance is only yours as much as I know.

 

Prenups are a pre-determined out.

 

They don't belong in any marriage IMO.

Most marriages will end divorced anyway. The superstition about prenups won't make them better or worse.

 

You cheat you get nothin' sucka! Hell of a good reason for some not to cheat.

I wouldn't want my husband to be faithful to me because it'd cost him money; I want him to be faithful cuz he wants to. I wouldn't mind the sex with another woman, I would mind the betrayal and desire that led him to cheating. If he wants to sleep with someone else, but doesn't - because he is afraid financially - to me it's the same as cheating, just without the f*cking.