Disturbing manipulation?

[Guest]

Well me and this guy have been dating for 2 months now and just recently i found out that hes been sleeping with his ex again. he says only one time last month over guilt but she called me on monday( two days ago ) and told me that they are still sleeping with each other... not everyday but at least5 times this has happend she says ( i live in another town then he does now, i just moved back to my home town so were about 2 and a half hours away).

 

as much as i was crushed on hearing this i still belive in love and him ( even though i havnt spoken with him for two days now) . this is the story, they have been together for nine years, well living together for nine years and about two months ago he broke it up with her to be with me, he has two younger children so that didnt go too well with her, so its been a on going battle but i finaly moved but he stayed in the same house as her ( having no where to go right now plus all his ****, tools blah blah he just couldnt leave at the moment with stuff to do still)... he was planning on moving here ... not with me anymore but in a camper and get a full time job and i think he might still want to do that because he wants me back.

 

i think that his ex is just making up bull**** or somthing because i bet she would take him back in a heartbeat even though she tells me differnt, tells me he doesnt love me its just lust and he still wants her ass and tits. she even ****ing told me that she could just cry on his shoulder and hes get a boner then they ****ed!!!( on monday the morning i told him to leave and go back home ) that night they apparently ****ed, i still have to talk to the guy tonight ... tried to yesterday night but the bitch didnt give him the message obviously, so i think shes just trying to get revenge .trying to make everybody else around her miserable because she is miserable. but i dont belive he is that kind of guy, hes been prety honest with me ( i think ) only about his ex he didnt want to hurt me, i think hes just doin it out of guilt because she is that type of woman, the guilt tripper and hes going through alot of stress right now between me her the kids living arrangments and work.

 

I think the word to call this is manipulation??any body agree? hes a really nice guy , theres an age difference but that doesnt matter but to just fill in some of the blanks for you all . he bought me 2 dozen roses in the morning beside my bedside when i woke up. He does anythign for me not that i ask for anythign from him but his faithfullness,love and security , liek ive never been treated so kindly he makes me feel so good inside and he has brought out a better person in me and i belive that we could last a longgg time but, if he thinks we have the slightest chance together hes gotta move out cut the ties with his ex and end the ****ing behind my back.

[Walk]

Too much baggage. Personally, I'd tell him to hit the road until he got his life back together. You probably dont need this kind of drama in your life... I know I wouldn't... .so why put up with it.

 

Your idea of telling him to get his act together is good. I'm not sure I'd even give him a second chance. Even the roses beside the bed would be tainted for me.... they weren't there to say "I love you for being special". They were there as a "Don't leave me for being a scum bag and I hope the $20 I spent on these will fool you into staying". So he shells out a couple bucks, but can't keep his dick in his pants... hmmmm.... I think I would prefer my bf to keep his dick in his pants over getting the roses.

 

Its up to you to decide what you want to do... but my recommendation is to drop him. Find someone who isn't embroiled in so much drama, lies and deception as this one is... there are men out there who aren't. Not to mention, that ex will NEVER be out of your life for as long as you date that guy. If those kids aren't hers, then she'll find another way to harrass the two of you. If those kids are hers, then forget ever going a day without her calling him about something regarding the kids.

 

I say drop him and find someone who is free to love and wants to be with only you.

[narcist_ave]

How can someone begin a new relationship when their last one isnt finished? if he'd leave her for you, he'd leave you for another. Maybe she is making up bulls***, even if thats the case you deserve a man who would put a stop to it. Who has time to deal with ex-girlfriends when the relationship is hard enough?

[bluechocolate]

He is living in the same house as his so-called ex of 9 years & the mother of his children & you, who he has been dating for only 2 months, are living a few hours away??

 

I can almost guarantee you that he is sleeping with her more than he is telling you.

 

...still have to talk to the guy tonight ... tried to yesterday night but the bitch didnt give him the message obviously,

 

You mean you call there & leave messages to have him call you & then you expect that she'll relay those messages for your benefit?? The best part is that you then call her a bitch for not doing so!

 

but i dont belive he is that kind of guy,

 

I don't think you really know the first thing about this guy.

 

No man of substance would have you calling that house with her still living there. A real man would have enough sense to know how twisted that truly is.

 

Those poor kids.

[Guest]

tried to yesterday night but the bitch didnt give him the message obviously, so i think shes just trying to get revenge .trying to make everybody else around her miserable because she is miserable.

 

 

You have a LOT of nerve to call her names when you have the audacity to call her home and ask her to relay messages to him. He left her to be with you... were the two of you having an affair? She probably sees you as the other woman who helped break up their family and right now she is really hurting bad and lashing out at you. By calling there you are rubbing your relationship in her face. I wouldn't give him messages from you if I were in her shoes ethier. I don't know many women who would.

[britchick]

Well me and this guy have been dating for 2 months now and just recently i found out that hes been sleeping with his ex again. he says only one time last month over guilt but she called me on monday( two days ago ) and told me that they are still sleeping with each other... not everyday but at least5 times this has happend she says ( i live in another town then he does now, i just moved back to my home town so were about 2 and a half hours away).

 

as much as i was crushed on hearing this i still belive in love and him ( even though i havnt spoken with him for two days now) . this is the story, they have been together for nine years, well living together for nine years and about two months ago he broke it up with her to be with me, he has two younger children so that didnt go too well with her, so its been a on going battle but i finaly moved but he stayed in the same house as her ( having no where to go right now plus all his ****, tools blah blah he just couldnt leave at the moment with stuff to do still)... he was planning on moving here ... not with me anymore but in a camper and get a full time job and i think he might still want to do that because he wants me back.

 

i think that his ex is just making up bull**** or somthing because i bet she would take him back in a heartbeat even though she tells me differnt, tells me he doesnt love me its just lust and he still wants her ass and tits. she even ****ing told me that she could just cry on his shoulder and hes get a boner then they ****ed!!!( on monday the morning i told him to leave and go back home ) that night they apparently ****ed, i still have to talk to the guy tonight ... tried to yesterday night but the bitch didnt give him the message obviously, so i think shes just trying to get revenge .trying to make everybody else around her miserable because she is miserable. but i dont belive he is that kind of guy, hes been prety honest with me ( i think ) only about his ex he didnt want to hurt me, i think hes just doin it out of guilt because she is that type of woman, the guilt tripper and hes going through alot of stress right now between me her the kids living arrangments and work.

 

I think the word to call this is manipulation??any body agree? hes a really nice guy , theres an age difference but that doesnt matter but to just fill in some of the blanks for you all . he bought me 2 dozen roses in the morning beside my bedside when i woke up. He does anythign for me not that i ask for anythign from him but his faithfullness,love and security , liek ive never been treated so kindly he makes me feel so good inside and he has brought out a better person in me and i belive that we could last a longgg time but, if he thinks we have the slightest chance together hes gotta move out cut the ties with his ex and end the ****ing behind my back.

 

You're right, it is manipulation, but he's the one doing it, not her.

 

He admits to sleeping with her once, you can bet your life it's happened many more times than that. Perhaps she would take him back in a heartbeat, you are both fools to put up with this sort of behaviour the only difference being that she has nine years invested in this relationship, not to mention children.

 

And hang on a minute, if the roles were reversed, would you be giving him messages to call his girlfriend of two months?????

 

As another poster said, the roses mean nothing, if I'd have got them after this sort of behaviour, they'd have gone in the bin. No 'really nice guy' behaves like this. Open your eyes.

[Guest]

You have a LOT of nerve to call her names when you have the audacity to call her home and ask her to relay messages to him. He left her to be with you... were the two of you having an affair? She probably sees you as the other woman who helped break up their family and right now she is really hurting bad and lashing out at you. By calling there you are rubbing your relationship in her face. I wouldn't give him messages from you if I were in her shoes ethier. I don't know many women who would.

 

 

i have never called there EVER out of her respect.

the only reason i called that one time is because i needed to talk to him.not about geting back together but just get some sh hit off my chest. she called me that morning(tuesday morning) to tell me that she slept with him yet again on monday night the day that i told him to leave my house. so anyways she called me tuesday morning bad mouthed the guy to me and what not i got all emotional and told her to tell him not to call me again, but that was a big mistake because i called back hours later asking if i could talk to him again and she said yes she will tell him to call me.i just recently got to hear his voice again yesterday night. he never slept with her on monday. it was all a big lie she was tellign me on the phone so( i know this because she was the line also yelling and what not and saying "oh ya well ya we havnt slept with each other since whenever(two weeks ago

) blah blah anyways" she told me two days ago that they did it when he came home " i sat there crying on his shoulders and it gave him a hard on and we ****ed" she said ................... wow anyways thanks for all the input but, i must follow my heart.

 

by the way no affair going on before hand.

[bluechocolate]

...................................

[Lostgurl]

u are one messed up girl. Leave that family alone and go find a man of your own.