need someone to "listen" maybe some advice also

[BiancaRura]

Ok, Me and my mother moved my brother, his wife, and their baby back home about 2 months ago. They lived in California and we paid for them to come back to Indiana.

 

We live in a 2 bedroom so I gave up my bedroom (I have the biggest bed in the house) and Ive been sleeping on a VERY uncomfortable couch. Its great to sit on but not to sleep on it.

 

All my brother and sister-in-law do is sit around and bitch about everything. Neither of them work but I still get stuck with watching my nephew whenever they want to up and leave. They dont even ask if Ill watch him, they just assume. I love watching him, dont get me wrong, I love my nephew but he is still being breast fed and she doesnt feed him before they leave so Im stuck there with a crying baby and I cant stop him because hes hungry.

 

Back to the bed thing.... I have new covers and sheets on my bed that costed a WHOLE LOT OF MONEY and they have sex on my bed and they have let my nephew ##### (they dont change his diapers before bed and he "leaks") on my sheets. Now I have stains all over my new comforter and sheets.

 

I have spent over $1500 on them and the baby since they have been here and its like nothing is good enough for them. All they do is bitch that our place isnt big enough(we are looking for a bigger house) or they bitch that we have too many animals (which they knew how many we had before they moved here) or they will bitch that they are broke or thay cant get out of the house, but they still wont get a job.

 

They even get mad at their 5 month old son if he cries. They yell at him and say things like "SHUT THE F*CK UP" and stupid ##### like that.

 

They are sooo lazy, they dont clean up after themselves so me and my mother have to. My sister-in-law leaves dirty diapers ALL over the place and then bitches when my puppy tries to mess with them. If something gets on their clothes they say my dog or my mother's dog did it and they will kick our dogs. This happened this morning.

 

If I "piss" off my brother he resorts to violence (the only thing is, I can be as nice as can be and he will still get pissed off at me)... over the summer when he was in town he beat me with an electric guitar and fractured my hip. About a month ago I put him in jail because he fractured my rib and left bruises all over my body and he tried to stab me.

 

My brother has been diagnosed with schizophrenia and he has been put on some meds but it hasnt really helped. He has been getting more delusions. My sister-in-law is just plain lazy. My nephew will sit there and cry and she acts like its my job to calm him down. I dont know what to do. My mother is too scared of my brother to say anything to him. Im not as scared but like I said, last time he tried to stab me.

 

If there is any advice anyone can give me, please do so

 

BTW. I cant move out, Im a college student with VERY little income, and my college doesnt have housing on campus.

 

Thanks for listening..I know its long.

[Bubba from the South]

What age is your brother and his lazy wife?

 

Where does your Mom figure in any of this? You're her child too, so why is she allowing her son (your brother) to beat you to the point of broken bones? Schizophrenia or not, a decent Mom wouldn't allow someone to beat you like that, or allow a potentially dangerous and unpredictable individual to live in your home. So why isn't he in jail if he injured you like this? And do you think him and his lazy wife are really fit to raise a poor child? Doesn't sound like it to me. Doesn't sound like they know anything about parenting, basic hygiene or working. So how long will they be freeloading for? You need to sit down and talk with your Mom.

 

It's a shame that you're likely busting your hump in college and trying to make a better life for yourself, and you have to live in this kind of noisy, dirty, lazy environment where you can't even get a good night's sleep. I place a lot of the blame on your Mom cause it doesn't seem she's considering you at all. She's also allowing your brother and lazy sister inlaw to freeload. Maybe your brother can't work (if he truly is schizophrenic, which can take a long time to really diagnose for sure) but the sister inlaw needs to be told by you Mom that she needs to get off her ass and hit the pavement. She's not even looking after her child anyway. Is your Mom so rich that she can support you all? I don't know what your Mom's problem is but she needs to get a backbone and make some rules. If one of them doesnt' start working, they're out.whether that's on the streets or not. And if it comes down to that, what about going to Child Protective Services and letting them know that this poor young child has dipsticks for parents and that maybe you and you Mom could care for him? Sorry you're in this mess. Is there some kind of guidance counselor or whatever you call it on campus?..someone you can talk to about all of this? What about a minister or priest or pastor at your church? If you don't attend one, it doesn't matter, just go to any church.....they might even offer to help your brother and lazy sis inlaw.

 

You need to sit your Mom down and ask her why she's allowing you to be treated like this. And if I were you, I'd raise hell about having someone screw on my sheets. And the next time lazy sis leaves diapers all over, why don't you give her hell? Or put them in her purse.

Ok, Me and my mother moved my brother, his wife, and their baby back home about 2 months ago. They lived in California and we paid for them to come back to Indiana. We live in a 2 bedroom so I gave up my bedroom (I have the biggest bed in the house) and Ive been sleeping on a VERY uncomfortable couch. Its great to sit on but not to sleep on it. All my brother and sister-in-law do is sit around and bitch about everything. Neither of them work but I still get stuck with watching my nephew whenever they want to up and leave. They dont even ask if Ill watch him, they just assume. I love watching him, dont get me wrong, I love my nephew but he is still being breast fed and she doesnt feed him before they leave so Im stuck there with a crying baby and I cant stop him because hes hungry. Back to the bed thing.... I have new covers and sheets on my bed that costed a WHOLE LOT OF MONEY and they have sex on my bed and they have let my nephew ##### (they dont change his diapers before bed and he "leaks") on my sheets. Now I have stains all over my new comforter and sheets. I have spent over $1500 on them and the baby since they have been here and its like nothing is good enough for them. All they do is bitch that our place isnt big enough(we are looking for a bigger house) or they bitch that we have too many animals (which they knew how many we had before they moved here) or they will bitch that they are broke or thay cant get out of the house, but they still wont get a job. They even get mad at their 5 month old son if he cries. They yell at him and say things like "SHUT THE F*CK UP" and stupid ##### like that. They are sooo lazy, they dont clean up after themselves so me and my mother have to. My sister-in-law leaves dirty diapers ALL over the place and then bitches when my puppy tries to mess with them. If something gets on their clothes they say my dog or my mother's dog did it and they will kick our dogs. This happened this morning. If I "piss" off my brother he resorts to violence (the only thing is, I can be as nice as can be and he will still get pissed off at me)... over the summer when he was in town he beat me with an electric guitar and fractured my hip. About a month ago I put him in jail because he fractured my rib and left bruises all over my body and he tried to stab me. My brother has been diagnosed with schizophrenia and he has been put on some meds but it hasnt really helped. He has been getting more delusions. My sister-in-law is just plain lazy. My nephew will sit there and cry and she acts like its my job to calm him down. I dont know what to do. My mother is too scared of my brother to say anything to him. Im not as scared but like I said, last time he tried to stab me. If there is any advice anyone can give me, please do so BTW. I cant move out, Im a college student with VERY little income, and my college doesnt have housing on campus. Thanks for listening..I know its long.

[Ed]

This is not a very good situation for you to be in. You need to move out, ASAP. Do you have any friends (male or female) or a boyfriend. If you do, see if you can room with them. Even if you have to sleep on their couch it will be better than the one you're sleeping on now.

 

There is nothing you can do about this situation except get out of it. Find someplace else to live. Take on a part time job, even two if you have to, and split the rent with 1, 2, 3, 4....however many people it takes to get you out of that house! Just get out as soon as you can.

 

In the mean time, spend as little time as you have to there. Go to a coffee shop, bookstore or a library to study for your classes. Isn't there someplace else you can go?

[velvet]

Keep an eye out for help wanted signs and let them know whos hireing. You need to drop those hints to them. Tell them that btw you and your moma, you can watch the baby until they can find a sitter. What makes them think they can live with your mom forever?

 

They have no class. No respect for you or your mom. Its just a free ride for them. What they should be doing is cooking,cleaning,working,providing the food and treating you and your mom like royalty. But since that wont happen, the only thing you can do is:

 

A. Move out

 

B. Have a talk with your mom. Tell her she is still a parent, and if these kids are going to be under her roof, they have to live under her rules. Than she needs to lay it down for them.

 

In the meantime, be kind, dont stir up any negative emotions. These people know they have some serious issues, but they need to know that laying around all day wont solve them.

This is not a very good situation for you to be in. You need to move out, ASAP. Do you have any friends (male or female) or a boyfriend. If you do, see if you can room with them. Even if you have to sleep on their couch it will be better than the one you're sleeping on now. There is nothing you can do about this situation except get out of it. Find someplace else to live. Take on a part time job, even two if you have to, and split the rent with 1, 2, 3, 4....however many people it takes to get you out of that house! Just get out as soon as you can. In the mean time, spend as little time as you have to there. Go to a coffee shop, bookstore or a library to study for your classes. Isn't there someplace else you can go?