Just Wondering....

[Guest]

My bf and i have been together a year (well in 2 more days) and since we were like 5 months together we knew we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. he even asked me at the beginning of our relationship what i think our kids would look like if we had them.

Now, i believe in saving my virginity till marriage, he totally respects it yet he really wants sex, i told him thats only gonna happen in marriage, although he complains "yeah but till we get married it will be along time from now..." (Long? how long is long?), we're bother pretty young i'm 21 and he'll be 25 in feb. we're soon moving to a different country together and will be getting alot of help from friends we have over there so they'll he us to ajust, he wants to start learning which will take 3 years, i'm all for that but i have a feeling he might not wanna get married for another 4 or even 5 years, i have no problem waiting but it just seems like such a LONG time....

it's not like i'll be wanting a big wedding that cost lots of $$$ i don't even need a big engagment ring that cost alot too, all i need is a simple ring that will come from the heart and i don't really even want a wedding i want to elope LOL. i even told him i don't need big bucks i need some thing from the heart.

I think after a year and a half of knowing it would be time to commit and get married (i think befor would be too early, not to rush in and miss the dating part).

 

My qeustion is, if a guy says he wants to spend the rest of his life with a girl yet won't commit after say 2 years of telling her so even though she doesn't want any thing big, only him and his commitment to her, would not getting married cause he's studying be an excuse to just staying with her cause he doesn't really want to get married?

 

(P.S. I would never force him to marry me i would want him to propose on his own cause it comes from his heart. and i'm really in no rush to get married but it would be nice if it happens in another year or 2)

[a4a]

why do you want to marry him? Is it so important to rush it?

 

Many smart people know that they need to get their ducks in a row before they say I DO.

 

If you are together for 5 more years until you are both more mature and financially able to have a home together why rush it?

 

And to be quite honest I don't think waiting for sex is all that grand of a thing to do if you are over 18, use BC, and are in a LTR.

 

He might end up a real dud in bed and that could really suck to find out after you already said I DO forever and ever.

 

The actual act of having sex is really not that big of a deal if you are an adult. You are only 21 years old why rush into marriage? And a year is not that long to know a person at all....... you may think it is. But living with someone and dating someone is a whole different ball of wax.

[Guest]

why do you want to marry him? Is it so important to rush it?

 

Many smart people know that they need to get their ducks in a row before they say I DO.

 

If you are together for 5 more years until you are both more mature and financially able to have a home together why rush it?

 

And to be quite honest I don't think waiting for sex is all that grand of a thing to do if you are over 18, use BC, and are in a LTR.

 

He might end up a real dud in bed and that could really suck to find out after you already said I DO forever and ever.

 

The actual act of having sex is really not that big of a deal if you are an adult. You are only 21 years old why rush into marriage? And a year is not that long to know a person at all....... you may think it is. But living with someone and dating someone is a whole different ball of wax.

 

Hey, and thanks for ansering. i don't wanna get married right now, we're still dating and i enjoy the time i spend with him. i know a lot will tell me i should sleep with him befor marriage but it's really a personal matter.

i would wait for him even in another 5 years but it just seems like along time, getting married now wouldn't be a good idea i think we need more time but not 5 years LOL

[Almost]

My qeustion is, if a guy says he wants to spend the rest of his life with a girl yet won't commit after say 2 years of telling her so even though she doesn't want any thing big, only him and his commitment to her, would not getting married cause he's studying be an excuse to just staying with her cause he doesn't really want to get married?

 

If a guy is willing to date you for that long and profess his love to you all the time without getting any sex, you can rest assured he really means it.

 

Maybe even though you don't want a big expensive wedding or anything, maybe he does. Maybe his family does or expects it. So that could also be a reason why he feels he needs to wait to get married, so he can "do it right" and in style.

 

But I would be surprised if he is willing to wait that long to have sex.