Father going to court for parenting rights

[Guest]

I'm hoping someone can offer me some good advice cause i havent done anything yet really about preparing for court in a week. I initiated the court proceedings about a month ago.

 

What should i be asking for? how should i prepare for this? should i get a lawyer?

 

i dont think i should need a lawyer. i know i want every second weekend and every wednesday; half the holidays and at least 1 full week in the summer.

 

that shouldnt be a problem. but i wanna make sure she cant leave the city... or at least we have to go back to court if she does want to leave if oyu know what i mean.

 

any thoughts anyone?

 

thanks so much

 

billy

[kjl933]

Get a lawyer. You do not know what your ex is planning. She may be painting you as a pedofile and then what are you going to do in the court?

 

Your request does not seem unreasonable in the US, but I don't know where you are, so....and of course every situation is different.

 

Also the best interest of the kids is paramount--age, sex, nature of divorce, how well you and ex coparent, etc all will come into play.

[tryinghard2006]

Im the guest that started this thread.

 

I can't afford a lawyer and i will be going in by myself. I'm making a list of everything i want and why, for example:

 

what i want: my ex not able to leave the city without consent from the court

why i want it: because it may not be in the best interest of our son to leave the city.

 

if i feel too over my head i can always request i can get a lawyer for a later date im hoing??? anyone know if this is true?

 

im in Canada aswell.

 

thanks

[ddw5195]

1. are you and your wife just divorced??

2. if not and have been divorced for a while have you been paying child support?

3. have you been there for the kids if needed??

4. do you have docs to back up your evedience?? (like check stubs or witness that you have done your part as a father??

5. have you been in trouble by the law? if so I recommend you get a lawer cause this will thrown up to you. and if you do not have a lawer the courts can appoint you one. if it is your wife that is bringing suite then you can when the court date is near and you stand in front of judge they should ask if you have an attonery. you say no can not afford one so can I get a court appointed attonery?

6. if any convections of any crimes it to can be held against you unless they happened while you were a minor which is under the age of 18. if you

 

these questions are just some maybe you need to write down. also if you live close to one another even if it is 30 min away you can file for joint custody where you get them a week and she gets them a week and summers are split right down the middle. they can get a hardship that the courts can order for them to attend the same school. also you will have to split the holidays every other one you will have. also you need to make sure that the attonery puts in the paper work that neither of you can leave the state by moving or vacation without notifing the other. it is really ment for the moving. Good Luck and be prepared cause dads get the shaft sometimes.

[Bluepetals]

I have been there and know exactly how difficult it is to get someone like your ex to cut it out and just let his family be at peace. He is abusive and manipulative and is exhibiting every behavior that shows he is abusive and only interested in his own well being.

 

I agree with the post that states to keep your contact with these individuals as minimal as possible.

 

Do however make some friends, close freinds, family, and dont be alone too often. You need these people to know you are not alone in the world and others will not allow you to be man handled. My ex even with me and the children living in coastal NC and him in Ohio had an acquaintance of his call the county mental health clinic, social services, and the local police department to report that they had a conversation with me and that I was planning to give my children sleeping pills and then take my life with them once I was certain my children were gone. I had every official within 50 miles up my butt for a long time after that. The protection order and the pending assault on myself case helped some with that. My point in having friends who know you well and thinking a lot of you will help if your ex and his crazy woman try anything similar.

 

Take care of yourself and your child, stay away from these people as much as possible, let the courts make all the important decisions like visitation times and if he doesnt follow them document document document, write down every conversation you have with these people, tape them if you must, also you may think this is a bit over the top but I even went to a news reporter and gave him my story with the understanding that if anything happened to me he was to go to my home and get a journal where everything was documented. I had cared for his child for a long time and he knew I was a great person.

 

If these people come to you and start a conversation just walk away, if they persist, just walk away and dont say much more than "Leave me alone" very loudly. Embarrass them make them look foolish if you must.

 

Also keep in mind that people like this just get more frustrated with a lack of attention coming their way when you ignore them so be prepared for more schemes and pains from them until they eventually either end up in jail or just give up.

 

They judicial system is not set up for what is right, it is set up for who has the most money so if you find yourself in a legal battle do all you can to get an attorney that you are paying for not anyone that is just doing the job to say they did the job. Try and get sole custody of your child if you can and do take this jerk to court for the support. Go to your county social services dept and ask if they have a child support enforcement dept for assistance in getting your support. Let the government take care of the ugly happenings in your life and let him know you arent putting up with all this drama any longer. I know easier said than done but keep that frame of mind and it should get better.