samsungxoxo Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 Oh ****, what have I donnnneeeeee. Yes, I know you don't ever lay a hand on your own parents. I wans't my intention really, it wasn't, but at the same time she really asked for it. Off course she wants nothing to do with me for the meantime, to her, that what I just did has no name. Weird, I'm sooo guilty right now (I'm in tears) but at the same time felt she deserve and asked for it, nooo. Basically it all started with an argument about my money I earn from work and what I wasted it on. When I told her I waste it on a a package from one of my classes, she kept nagging me on what. Then she kept calling me stupid for my way I waste my money. Got to the point I got sooo freaking fed up with it, I told her it wans't her business on how I conducted my money, that it was from my own work. She woudln't leave me the **** alone so I screamed aloud "It ain't your damn f***** business on what I waste my money on, go to hell (something like that). In which she started hitting me with my clothes for talking back, in whichI hit her with the my work pants as well. And well I was on the way of raising her hand on her, but she back off in total shock (I'm more bigger and stronger than her) so I didn't have the chance. At the same time she started, I was tyring to talk to her in a calm way, but she blows up, damn so I got piss. The thing is the pants I hit her with left a red mark on her upper chest. No juding pleassssseeee. I didn't mean to, but at the same time she really piss me off. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 at the same time she really asked for it. Again. NOBODY SHOULD BE HIT FOR ANY REASON. PERIOD. at the same time felt she deserve and asked for it, nooo. You ARE an abuser because your mentality is that people 'deserve and ask for' being hit. GET TO A SHRINK NOW. I hope that those people who were saying that you're not an abuser think twice. Until you lose the attitude that people 'deserve' to be hit, you ARE an abuser. And you WILL end up in jail. Probably for life. Because someday you'll decide someone 'deserved' to be dead. Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 Everyone gets chances in life to do moronic things. Occasionally people go ahead and do them. The stupid things you do in life stay with you for your whole life. They are there as memories and consequences to remind you of how low you can sink when you allow yourself to. You've sunk pretty low. Link to post Share on other sites
burning 4 revenge Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 South Florida is a pretty bad scene. Teenagers who microwave cats, congressmen who molest teenagers, and girls who hit their mothers. That's why I'm buying a gun. Link to post Share on other sites
Author samsungxoxo Posted October 1, 2006 Author Share Posted October 1, 2006 Guest, whenever I watched this talk show about children hitting their parents, I used to bash them and hate them, that's one thing I kept saying I would never do that. I would say that I can hit a partner if he hits me, I can hit a person trying to attack me but never my parents, much less my own mother. Once again I'm not denying I do have a temper and I would talk back to her the most (thought at times I did yelled back at my dad, I hate getting yelled at). It was just verbal altercations in those occassions, but this was my only time I ever hit her. You don't know how much guilt I feel. not only that but now she say she's scare of my reaction. I kept saying how if this time was just me throwing my pants at her chest, then what's next time gonna be. I always hated those people that hit their own parents and now I'm worst than them. As for getting a shrink, aren't they expensive?? Wishes there was any way I can take this back, wished I had just let her yelled and stay silent. Lastly I wished I never had responded back. The first time and real time I really feel like a horrible monster, but I have already told her it wans't my intention. It truly wasn't, it ain't happening again, that's for sure. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 Weird, I'm sooo guilty right now (I'm in tears) but at the same time felt she deserve and asked for it, nooo. If this is how you see your deed, then it won't be long before you do it again. Admit your mistake to yourself: you did a terrible thing and taKE the whole blame on you. I hope you apologized honestly and told her how much you regret it. She will forgive you this, but will YOU forgive yourself? You don't hit your mother, NO MATTER WHAT!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author samsungxoxo Posted October 1, 2006 Author Share Posted October 1, 2006 Forgiving myself?? Yes, that's exactly what I'm trying to do, I dunno how, I wish there was a time machine so i can take this back so then I would have more restrain on myself when this happen. I have cried to her already, but now I can't seem to forgive myself. I feel like the most horrible being on earth. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 Look, your previous posts you've admitted that certain words and how people treat you set you off. You've even said you'd hit someone if they used rude words on you, told you to shut up or F off etc... Doesn't matter how much therapy costs, you need to go ASAP. I am not judging you, but you are in need of therapy so badly! You have some anger issues and those need to get under control before you do more damage to those you love and to yourself. Even if you have to, maybe you need a pysch evulation or something. Especially after tonight, how you were with your mom. And I understand how mom's can piss us off, but that still gives you no right to react the way you did. Her house, her rules. Unless you're paying rent or something, it's her way. With the help of therapy you'll control those urges that make you see blood red. And make you hit. Tell your mom you need help, and that you want to get better, so you can live a normal and happy life. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 but at the same time felt she deserve and asked for it, nooo. This is what abusers say to their victims all the time. Hitting someone just cannot be justified. Angry or not. Link to post Share on other sites
Island Girl Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 As everyone has said here -- when you say "at the same time felt she deserved(sic) and asked for it" You are justifying your action. You are trying to put partial blame on her. You are wrong. You are completely wrong. She IN NO WAY deserved or asked for it. That said, how old are you? -- You live at home, you have a job, and you are probably at an age where you should contribute to the household expenses. Her frustration with the way you spend your money probably stem from her struggle to make ends meet, while you, instead of offering any ease with the situation, you buy clothes, CDs, whatever. The power you use costs money. The food you eat costs money. The roof over your head costs money. Maybe you need to find your own place and then you'll have a little more resect for your mother and what she has done for you your entire life. By the way, if you have money to spend on clothes, you have money to spend on a psychiatrist. So there are two reasonable choices. Keep thinking as you do, move out of her house, and start applying your knowledge of the world to real life. Or, gain perspective on more healthy behavior and control of your emotions by going to a psychiatrist. But do something other than shop in your off time, hang out, or watch Jerry Springer. Link to post Share on other sites
Author samsungxoxo Posted October 1, 2006 Author Share Posted October 1, 2006 No Island Girl I'm not a money waster. In fact I have almost all my money (I have eraned from my last two checks) on the bank on savings deposit. With that, I'm saving it to buy a car. Out of like around $858 I only took $58 from it. I wasted that little money on my date with b/f and a package I really needed for one of my psychology class, that's it and she made a fuzz about it. So yes, Island Girl, you have your answered I do work, but I'm not that eprson that waste money on stupid stuff, in fact my parents are the ones buying me clothes and products and also paying for my college classes. Link to post Share on other sites
Author samsungxoxo Posted October 1, 2006 Author Share Posted October 1, 2006 As for my age Island Girl, I'm 19 years old and I'm still leaving under their roofs. Link to post Share on other sites
Author samsungxoxo Posted October 1, 2006 Author Share Posted October 1, 2006 And she's still angry, damn. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 You are lucky she didn't call the police. Damn is she gonna get over this incident or what, I'm piss now. And she's still angry, damn. Sadly, you don't get it. And I don't think you really realize the wrong you did to her. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 If you are taking psychology, then you have access to a psychologist right there. Talk to your prof and ask for a referral. Most schools have counseling services. Link to post Share on other sites
Author samsungxoxo Posted October 1, 2006 Author Share Posted October 1, 2006 whichwayisup it's not like I slapped her or shove her, now that would have been more worst. It was just my soft pants from work and other clothes, my apron, that's it. But see she was the first to hit me with those clothes, and I must admit, it did hurt, my head did head a little and she wouldn't stop hitting me with it, that must have been why I responded back, to get her away from me. I know for sure it won't ever happen again, it was just that instant moment. I must admit there werre other times we argue and on my way getting verbal I felt like pusing her but in those times what stopped from doing it was she's my mother. I'm not a little 10 year-old to be hit with clothes nor little kid that gets spank. I'm a grown 19 year-old college student majoring in psychology. Yes I have already say it wasn't my intention and have cried to her. If she has already say she has forgiven me, then she should have by now start talking normal to me. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 I feel like the most horrible being on earth. And this makes you a good human being - to remorse and suffer because of the bad deeds you've done to your beloved ones. Your mom is more concerned about YOU then what you did to her. Seeing her own child like that broke her heart, not you hitting her with the pants. She worries that YOU might become a savage, not that you might hurt HER in the future. You will hopefully have children some day and you will realize what I am talking about. When our children do bad things, we worry about THEM and who they are, not about the things they are doing to US. I don't care when my kids yell or curse or do bad stuff (thank god, they usually don't)... I care about how they are going to live in this cruel world and with thermselves if they are like that. You seem to be a timed bomb when it comes to physical violence. I don't know if you're normally easy on the hand, but you recently said that you would slap someone for saying "shut up!" to you. The fantasy about hitting someone comes from deep inside you. You're full of anger that needs an outlet. When I was about 17, I caught myself fantasizing about someone raping me and me shooting him. Later I realized WHY I was imagining these scenes that would greatly disturb me at the moment, but at the end, I would find peace and closure in killing the rapist - because my ex-step-father with whom I lived at the time had molested me before and nobody (except the BF at the time who wasn't much help) knew about this. I was suffering with a lot of pain and anger inside me. I wanted to kill HIM. You have to deal with your anger and find solution for it. It will haunt you and ruin all relationships in your life if you don't take care of it NOW. You need to find its nest and face the demons, before it takes complete control over you. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 I'm not a little 10 year-old to be hit with clothes nor little kid that gets spank. I'm a grown 19 year-old college student majoring in psychology. Then move out. OR start paying rent so you won't be treated like a little child. It's a vicious circle, she treats you like a child, then you react like one and stoop to her level. Either way, you need anger management, so does your mother. And if she isn't willing to change her ways with you, then you must change the way you deal with her. When she gets pissy with you, WALK AWAY. Don't say a word... Set boundries up and don't cross them. Yes I have already say it wasn't my intention and have cried to her. If she has already say she has forgiven me, then she should have by now start talking normal to me. She can't just turn it on and off, so give her time. She has forgiven you, but not forgotten. This JUST happened, so she needs time. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 I agree you need to move out and be on your own. You're 19 and you shouldn't be livng wth your parents. As you said, you're not a child. And right now, your mother has EVERY right to question what you're spending "your" money on. Afterall, she's paying for your food and housing, is she not? So if you don't like that, move out. Pay for all your OWN bills and that way no one can question you about what you're spendng your money on. You can't have it both ways you know. Link to post Share on other sites
Kittiecat Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 Man, I hate admitting this but I was in a similar situation when I was about 17. I raised a hand to my mom - didn't hit her but wanted to in the worst way. I can't even remember what we were fighting about, but it was horrible. I apologized profusely but I don't think we spoke for a week or so afterwards. The point is that your mom's feelings are probably hurt. When my mom would give me the silent treatment, afterwards she would always say that she was just so hurt that she didn't want to deal with me, so she'd shut down and figure it out on her own time. She always came around, because she's my mom and will always love her kids despite the horrible things they may do. Give your mom some space. She'll come around. Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 Hey, In which she started hitting me with my clothes for talking back, in which I hit her with the my work pants as well. Is ok, no big deal. My son hit me too, like when I went to wake him up to go to school with the water spray, he kicked me out of the room. Hey, I learned not to spray him with the water anymore Ariadne Link to post Share on other sites
Craig Posted October 2, 2006 Share Posted October 2, 2006 Ailec1987 what are you trying to avoid? Think about that for a few days. Now back to the topic. You need to get yourself into an anger management program ASAP a shrink isn't going to provide you with the skills you need right now to handle your anger. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted October 2, 2006 Share Posted October 2, 2006 not going to try and make you feel bad about the incident because it sounds like you're doing a good job beating yourself up over it. Give things a bit of time to calm down, then talk to your mom about your reaction to her provocation, and let her know that your response was an aberration. I'm sure she understands that you love her as much as she loves you, and that you two don't mean to get physical (like throwing clothes at each other), but you still need to clear the air when things calm down. the suggestion to talk to someone at school (either from your psychology department or even the student counselling center, or even the minister/priest from church) is a good one, because they can help give you the necessary tools to help stay calm/in control during instances like that. I think once you're able to get a better control on how you communicate with her (or others), you'll be able to respond to those kinds of situations in a manner that doesn't resort to throwing stuff or yelling or whatever. growing up can be a booger, but as long as you strive to be better at how you react/respond, you'll do fine. Especially when you're trying to show your folks that you've become a responsible young lady. now go give your mother a hug and tell her how much you love her. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted October 2, 2006 Share Posted October 2, 2006 Hey, In which she started hitting me with my clothes for talking back, in which I hit her with the my work pants as well. Is ok, no big deal. My son hit me too, like when I went to wake him up to go to school with the water spray, he kicked me out of the room. Hey, I learned not to spray him with the water anymore Ariadne No big deal? How old is your son? 8? Well she is 19! A little bit too old and too strong to hit her mother. You should NOT let your son hit you and then justify his violence as "you asked for it and learned the lesson." What he did was wrong. You start teaching your kids when they are one year old that they DO NOT hit their parents. If your son is allowed to hit his mother, what will prevent him from hiutting his wife some day? Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted October 2, 2006 Share Posted October 2, 2006 Hi, No big deal? How old is your son? 8? Well she is 19! A little bit too old and too strong to hit her mother. He is 16 and he can pick me up in his arms. But, you know teenagers how they are. The kid's sleeping and I went to water him, he kicked me. They are full of hormones and sometimes they can't help it. Gotta have some patience with teenagers. But don't use force on them. Ariadne Link to post Share on other sites
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