Guest Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 Hi. Let me introduce myself. I'm a 24 year old man, living with my wife of two years and our 16 month old son. We live in a nice neighborhood in a suburb not far from Atlanta. We both have respectible jobs...she is a CDA working in a private orthodontics office, I am a lead audio/video technician working for an up-and-coming technical systems company. I have never, not even once, considered that my wife would be unfaithful, but...I have found something that has certainly raised my suspicions. Over the last 6 weeks I have been flying to Tampa, FL., to do work for my company. I fly out every Monday, and return each Friday to spend the weekend with my family. Only, this Friday when I returned, I discovered a condom wrapper hidden in a crevase in our bed. Needless to say, I completely freaked out. Immediately I confronted her about it and she told me that she had been masturbating with something that was in our bathroom, and that she had used the condom for that purpose. I'm stuck. Our sex life used to be absolutely amazing, until our son came along. After his birth it changed a little bit though. Due to certain hormonal issues, she decided that she would like to stop taking her birth control...and I absolutely hate the feel of sex with a condom. This has led me to have sex with her less frequently than we had in the past. Also, I'm finding that I'm not always able to make her orgasm...where I used to give her multiple orgasms, almost every time. I'm not going to go into detail about my size, but let's just say that I am perfectly confident in my ability to please her...and always have been. She says that since she gave birth she just cannot climax sometimes. This hasn't phased her sex drive though, in fact, it may have helped some. She is adamant about wanting to please me now, where it used to be the other way around. Still though, it has made me feel a little less confident in myself...and in return, has diminished my eagerness to have sex a little bit. So, now we have sex just a few times a month...and I'm worried that this, coupled with me being out of town so much, has driven her to seek satisfaction elsewhere. Will someone please just tell me that I'm paranoid? I don't plan on bugging our telephones, or installing a GPS tracker on her car, but what can I do to set my mind at ease? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks. -Anonymous Dude Link to post Share on other sites
Jane Doe Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 What exactly was she masturbating with in the bathroom that needed a condom? Sorry, but I have a hard time believing that. I think you need to do some further investigating. Link to post Share on other sites
Adunaphel Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 Immediately I confronted her about it and she told me that she had been masturbating with something that was in our bathroom, and that she had used the condom for that purpose. I did that in more than an occasion (masturbating with "something" with a condom on). So I think she could be telling the truth. Also, if I cheated on my SO in our own house (very hypothetical scenario since I'm single and I've never cheated on anyone), I'd make sure not only to look for any condom wrappings and dispose of them, but I'd change the bed sheets and pillowcases, while I would not think of condom wrappings if I had nothing to hide. (just the other day I found one in my bed. ) Link to post Share on other sites
stoopid_guy Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 OK, I have to ask; What would you need to put a condom on before you masturbate with it? An electric toothbrush? Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 She doesn't "make" you feel a certain way - you allow yourself to feel that way. Of course she could be telling the truth. Give her the benefit of the doubt. Pregnancy and childbirth DO change people. How much longer are you going to be traveling away for a week? If you are gone - why not call her at night and have phone sex with her? That might spice things up and help bring back your confidence. Do you masturbate when you are away? She has the same needs too. Link to post Share on other sites
Adunaphel Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 OK, I have to ask; What would you need to put a condom on before you masturbate with it? An electric toothbrush? Anything that might give you allergies or a bacterial infection, get broken, undergo a chemical or state transformation or release some of its content when inserted in your vagina. (Or anything - not necessarily big! - that might slide in easier with a condom on it.) Sorry to be so graphic. Edited to add: anyone PMing me to get more details will be spanked with a rubber chicken, of course after I have put a condom on the said item. Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 I find this very difficult to believe. I would hire a private investigator. I think you busted her. Link to post Share on other sites
Rooster_DAR Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 I find it very stange as well, I'm not sure I buy the story but all you can do at this point is trust her and keep eyes wide open. Link to post Share on other sites
pricillia Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 I find it very stange as well, I'm not sure I buy the story but all you can do at this point is trust her and keep eyes wide open. and try to spend more time at home, if that is at all possible, at least for a few weeks. Link to post Share on other sites
Tangerina Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 I think it sounds perfectly reasonable, unless she alread owns some great sex toys then I would be suspicious about this story of improvised sex toys.... but for reals guys, if you are going to use some phallic household item as a dildo wouldn't you put a condom on it? Not only to protect youself from gross things that might have touched it but to protect that item from getting you on it (assuming it is something you will continue to use?) Hell, I own a really nice for reals dildo but sometimes I feel like using it before bed and don't want to have to sneak past the room mates to the bathroom to wash it so I just put a condom on it to keep it clean, it isn't a wierd thing to do. I think the story checks out, but if there are trust issues then that needs to be dealt with. Link to post Share on other sites
pricillia Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 Maybe use one for toys, thought I never have used a toy, but most of them are dishwasher safe... For the OP, It sounds like your wife is making up excuse after excuse. She can pleasure herself with sex toys and think to use a condom but she is pushing you away. Try to get to the bottom of it, this will require some work on your part, and maybe spending more then just the weekends at home. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 yeah, your wife is two-timing you. divorce her and then stay single forever. men always lose out in the marriage thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Yamaha Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 I think I would tend to believe her. Unless she is good at making up lies on the spot the story of the item from the bathroom sounds to unbelieveable not to be believed. Link to post Share on other sites
stoopid_guy Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 Sorry to be so graphic. Hey, I asked. Never apologize for being too graphic. To the OP though, I do think I'd give your lady the benefit of the doubt, especially if that's your only reason to suspect. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 To the OP though, I do think I'd give your lady the benefit of the doubt, I think that's a big mistake... Link to post Share on other sites
pricillia Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 I don't know OP You mentioned that she wants to please you now when before it used to be the other way around, could she be covering up for something? Like a man buying a woman flowers. Something is not right, has anything else changed? Link to post Share on other sites
Rooster_DAR Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 Quote: Originally Posted by stoopid_guy To the OP though, I do think I'd give your lady the benefit of the doubt, I think that's a big mistake... My mature and rational self wants to disagree with this statement, but somehow I am compelled to agree. D'oh! Link to post Share on other sites
Jane Doe Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 As easy as dildos and other sex toys are to come by, I can't imagine why anyone would resort to using household items for pleasure. That sounds so weird to me. Link to post Share on other sites
pricillia Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 As easy as dildos and other sex toys are to come by, I can't imagine why anyone would resort to using household items for pleasure. That sounds so weird to me. I agree. It would be nice to trust her... But here is a thought. Women don't take a condom out of the package and just throw it in the heat of passion...men do that If she was using this on a item that she found in the bathroom then why not just throw it away there. Sounds like she forgot it was there, after someone else used it Link to post Share on other sites
stoopid_guy Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 I don't know OP You mentioned that she wants to please you now when before it used to be the other way around, could she be covering up for something? Like a man buying a woman flowers. Something is not right, has anything else changed? Maybe she misses him, wants him to travel less, and is hurt that he doesn't trust her. Link to post Share on other sites
pricillia Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 Maybe she misses him, wants him to travel less, and is hurt that he doesn't trust her. could be, I would feel the same way if someone did not trust me. I would though like to hear from the OP again. Link to post Share on other sites
Sup Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 Hi. Let me introduce myself. I'm a 24 year old man, living with my wife of two years and our 16 month old son. We live in a nice neighborhood in a suburb not far from Atlanta. We both have respectible jobs...she is a CDA working in a private orthodontics office, I am a lead audio/video technician working for an up-and-coming technical systems company. I have never, not even once, considered that my wife would be unfaithful, but...I have found something that has certainly raised my suspicions. Over the last 6 weeks I have been flying to Tampa, FL., to do work for my company. I fly out every Monday, and return each Friday to spend the weekend with my family. Only, this Friday when I returned, I discovered a condom wrapper hidden in a crevase in our bed. Needless to say, I completely freaked out. Immediately I confronted her about it and she told me that she had been masturbating with something that was in our bathroom, and that she had used the condom for that purpose. I'm stuck. Our sex life used to be absolutely amazing, until our son came along. After his birth it changed a little bit though. Due to certain hormonal issues, she decided that she would like to stop taking her birth control...and I absolutely hate the feel of sex with a condom. This has led me to have sex with her less frequently than we had in the past. Also, I'm finding that I'm not always able to make her orgasm...where I used to give her multiple orgasms, almost every time. I'm not going to go into detail about my size, but let's just say that I am perfectly confident in my ability to please her...and always have been. She says that since she gave birth she just cannot climax sometimes. This hasn't phased her sex drive though, in fact, it may have helped some. She is adamant about wanting to please me now, where it used to be the other way around. Still though, it has made me feel a little less confident in myself...and in return, has diminished my eagerness to have sex a little bit. So, now we have sex just a few times a month...and I'm worried that this, coupled with me being out of town so much, has driven her to seek satisfaction elsewhere. Will someone please just tell me that I'm paranoid? I don't plan on bugging our telephones, or installing a GPS tracker on her car, but what can I do to set my mind at ease? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks. -Anonymous Dude No, you're not paranoid. You can install a good keylogger on your computer to track internet activity. You can also check the phone bill, either house or cell phone, to see if there are unusual phone numbers, and the time of the calls. You have to figure that most people clean up cetain things like that. I'm not saying that what she said wasn't the truth, but hey, if you wanna find out I suggest you do at least this much, at least you will know you have this in place when you're gone somewhere. Are there other things that don't add up, anything at all? Link to post Share on other sites
Adunaphel Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 As easy as dildos and other sex toys are to come by, I can't imagine why anyone would resort to using household items for pleasure. That sounds so weird to me. Variety. Curiosity. Experimenting. I've got three toys and use a variety of household items. OP, perhaps your wife could show you which item? The condoms are the same brand you use at home? Did she take one from your pack of condoms? If it's a different brand (or the same brand but does not come from your house), perhaps you could ask her to see the pack of condoms or to produce evidence that she bought them herself. If she is cheating on you, the other guy will almost surely buy and keep the condoms. If it came from the pack of condoms you use together... who'd be so stupid to cheat on you using a condom from a box where you could see it's missing?? Yet, if she was innocent(condom on a toy hypothesis) she'd not even think you'd get suspicious! I have problems believing that someone who has never put a condom on a household item, or thought of it, would use that excuse! They would not think of it, just like some posters wouldn't because the idea is unfamiliar to them. I also have problems believing that someone cheating on you would be so stupid to leave a wrapping in the bed. I can understand a tiny piece of wrapping-the piece you cut when opening the condom,but a whole wrapping??? Okay that there is no limit to human stupidity... I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer myself, but...honestly,would you not remember to dispose of a wrapping? I would be very suspicious if she tried to tell you it's a very old wrapping of a condom she used with you, or gave you the"I have no clue of how it got there"line. I'd say innocent until proven guilty... keep your eyes well open anyway, check what you should, snoop if you feel the need to, but I think that after a while you'll relax. Link to post Share on other sites
JamesM Posted October 2, 2006 Share Posted October 2, 2006 OK, I have to ask; What would you need to put a condom on before you masturbate with it? Cucumbers, bananas, pickles, zucchini.....want to prevent any seed from leaking out. Link to post Share on other sites
LittleLady Posted October 2, 2006 Share Posted October 2, 2006 Um, has she ever been known to use condoms over sex toys before, or is this unusual behavior?? I wash things off before I use them... never thought of wasting condoms for that. The only way you can tell this is true is by finding the sex toy. Condoms have odd smells and tastes. I would check her vibrator and see if any of the scent remnants from the condom are on it. Link to post Share on other sites
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