Guest Posted October 2, 2006 Share Posted October 2, 2006 Hard, right? Well, yes it is. It is tearing me up emotinally. My husband and I have filed for divorce. He was not the best husband, cheated on me and always lied to me. I still loved him, but we filed for divorce because the marriage was not working. Before we filed, I got fed up with his lies and I started an affair with a man I adored. Wrong I know, but it happened. I love this man, he loves me. Now, my husband, who does not know about my relationship, wants me back and doesnt want the divorce. He promises me he will change, he will be faithful and will not lie. My other man is already faithful and doesnt lie. Treats me with respect, and is helping me with whatever I need. They both love me, and it is tearing me up I dont know what to do. I love them both two, and I dont want to hurt either one, but I do not know which man is for me. I am a mess, I know. Link to post Share on other sites
FlyingHigh Posted October 2, 2006 Share Posted October 2, 2006 Take a time out. You have to deal with your emotional ties with your H first before you jump into another relationship otherwise it will certainly affect the new man in your life. It's also not fair to the new guy. If you the situation were reversed, do you want to be the rebound chick? What your H may be experiencing is a "temporary" flashback of regrets. You say your H has lied to you repeatedly, what makes you think his spots have changed? How many chances have you given your husband? Okay to forgive once, but after that, it becomes a matter of compromising your self-respect. Your H had many opportunities to make amends, but didn't. The question is could you ever trust your H again? If you're still confused, "date" both. Leave the physical part out for now until you figure it out. Also be honest with your H. Tell him you've met someone who respects and adores you in the way that you need. He may decide to continue cheating with whoever and your dilemma would be solved. Link to post Share on other sites
LakesideDream Posted October 3, 2006 Share Posted October 3, 2006 Arn't you Special! Pretty typical "cake eater" by the sound of it (cake eaters come in both genders). One has to wonder what would happen if your husband knew of your OM. Think he would still be on your trail? Why not try a little honesty? Link to post Share on other sites
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