prncssfce9 Posted October 2, 2006 Share Posted October 2, 2006 Ok ... I have been on here a lot asking for advice about this friend of mine. We have been flirting and dancing around each other for months ... even more so after I broke up with my long term boyfriend. We hang out together in a group of friends, and did the same last night. We were drinking and playing cards ... we ended up playing this weird version of truth or dare ... i kept getting dares to kiss him, or bite his ear and other things along those lines. I was being a sport and we were all friends. Later in the night I went to go to sleep in the guest room of the house, and he was in there too. I layed there for a minute talking with him and before I knew it ... one thing led to another and we slept together. Now I'm confused and don't know what to think or how to act. I have never done anything like this before and I really don't want to have ruined our friendship b.c I adore him! PLease help Link to post Share on other sites
MsArtful Posted October 2, 2006 Share Posted October 2, 2006 I'm sorry to say this, but things won't be the same between you now. You have fundamentally changed the nature of your relationship. It may be a good thing, you could become bf/gf... but then again... It depends on how you feel and where you want to take the relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author prncssfce9 Posted October 2, 2006 Author Share Posted October 2, 2006 it is funny that you say that b.c that is precisely what I was afraid of. He and I are very close and nobody gets me the way that he does. That being said I really don't think that I want a relationship with him. I don't have the best track record with relationships and moreover I literally JUST ended a REALLY bad one! I really don't want things to be differant between us and I am trying to figure out a way to prevent things from changing. Is that possible at all? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted October 2, 2006 Share Posted October 2, 2006 That being said I really don't think that I want a relationship with him. I don't have the best track record with relationships and moreover I literally JUST ended a REALLY bad one! I am a bit confused... You seem to like him a lot and value him but at the same time you are telling you don't want a relationship with him. So that would mean that you really don't like him that much.... because if you did you would have considered dating him, is it not? Link to post Share on other sites
Author prncssfce9 Posted October 2, 2006 Author Share Posted October 2, 2006 No .... I do like him. And that is the problem I am having. Like I said I just ended a long, bad relationship and I don't think I am in the state of mind to have a relationship ... I am scared that getting involved with him now would just be bad ... I adore this guy ... he gets me, he challenges me, he's smart and funny and we have almost EVERYTHING in common. We joke that we are kindreds, but there are just so many X factors that could and probably would mess things up that I am scared and VERY confused! Link to post Share on other sites
Buttaflyy Posted October 2, 2006 Share Posted October 2, 2006 No .... I do like him. And that is the problem I am having. Like I said I just ended a long, bad relationship and I don't think I am in the state of mind to have a relationship ... I am scared that getting involved with him now would just be bad ... I adore this guy ... he gets me, he challenges me, he's smart and funny and we have almost EVERYTHING in common. We joke that we are kindreds, but there are just so many X factors that could and probably would mess things up that I am scared and VERY confused! Kudos to you for recognizing that since you just came out of a relationship it probably isn't the best time to start a new one. Talk to him about it. You have to clear the air with him or else you will create a big misunderstanding that probably could have been avoided. Tell him what you said here. You care for him, how special he is to you as a friend and that you worry about losing your friendship. Hope everything works out for you! Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted October 2, 2006 Share Posted October 2, 2006 No .... I do like him. And that is the problem I am having. Like I said I just ended a long, bad relationship and I don't think I am in the state of mind to have a relationship ... I am scared that getting involved with him now would just be bad ... I adore this guy ... he gets me, he challenges me, he's smart and funny and we have almost EVERYTHING in common. We joke that we are kindreds, but there are just so many X factors that could and probably would mess things up that I am scared and VERY confused! Ok I get it now. So you like him as more than friends but not want to get involved as you just came out of a break-up. What if he get involved with someone else by the time you heal? And what exactly are those X factors? Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted October 2, 2006 Share Posted October 2, 2006 Well you had sex with him and now he's going to want it again unless he feels the same way you do about things and in that case it should be fine. Link to post Share on other sites
MsArtful Posted October 3, 2006 Share Posted October 3, 2006 Kudos to you for recognizing that since you just came out of a relationship it probably isn't the best time to start a new one. Talk to him about it. You have to clear the air with him or else you will create a big misunderstanding that probably could have been avoided. Tell him what you said here. You care for him, how special he is to you as a friend and that you worry about losing your friendship. Hope everything works out for you! Yeah, I agree with buttafly here, tell him how much you appreciate appreciate him as a friend and that you've just come out of a bad relationship and you're not ready for anything right now - if that is how you feel. Link to post Share on other sites
Rooster_DAR Posted October 4, 2006 Share Posted October 4, 2006 Yeah, and then keep offering him sex though! Link to post Share on other sites
Author prncssfce9 Posted October 4, 2006 Author Share Posted October 4, 2006 hahaha thanks roster .... sound advice! Link to post Share on other sites
Yamaha Posted October 4, 2006 Share Posted October 4, 2006 Once sex enters a friendship it is very hard to go back to platonic. Unless he is willing to be just friends then your friendship will probably not be as close. You definitely need to talk to him and make him understand your position. If he is willing to want for you then things might work out. If you just want friendship forever then the friendship will probably drift apart. Link to post Share on other sites
Kittiecat Posted October 4, 2006 Share Posted October 4, 2006 Another example of man/woman friendships being complete bullcrap. They'll always get naked. Sorry - that's my two cents. I didn't even read anything other than "I slept with my friend." Link to post Share on other sites
magichands Posted October 4, 2006 Share Posted October 4, 2006 Sorry - that's my two cents. I didn't even read anything other than "I slept with my friend." I wouldn't even give you a penny for that thought. Link to post Share on other sites
Kittiecat Posted October 4, 2006 Share Posted October 4, 2006 I wouldn't even give you a penny for that thought. And amazingly, I wasn't even close to talking to you in that last post! So I guess you can keep your penny. Link to post Share on other sites
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