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Confused Relationship


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Hi Fellas,

 

I have been hanging around in this forum for quite a while, and have learned alot about carrying on with relationships. Here's my story.

 

I have been talking to this very nice girl, for last three months. Actually we got introduced through net, and then started talking on phone. Even though we havent met yet, we started feeling for each other, and she was the first to say those beutiful words to me. As for me, I am just out another hearbreak, and am still keeping a strings of hair of my ex, and dont find myself ready for a relationship. She have been single for past 5 years.I am 27, whereas she is 31.

 

On her part she is already assuming herself as my gf, and during discussions she continiously addresses herself as "your gf". I assume I may have gone bit too far on our first date, as we ended up at my place, (although we did everything except penetration).

 

on the 2nd date again we ended up at my place, we did tried to have sex. But it turned sour, as she started bleeding profusely. She had a medical checkup and was told that may be its because she had it just after periods and was dry.

 

Though now had sat together and discussed about our relationship, and have agreed that we both are not ready for sex yet. And we should still give some time to each other, though atleast we agreed to have weekend getaways or whole day picnics.

 

I have few confusions.

 

1- As I still dont find myself ready for a relationship, is it still good to let it go like it is, and let her assumer being my gf.

 

2- I have a huge sexual appetite. I currently three sex partners, and I have told her about that. I know that she wouldnt be able cop with my sexual desires, as my minimum is three times, per session, 35 mns each, ;) , will it affect the relationship, where she couldnt even bear with me for the first time, and started bleeding.

 

3- As she is 4 years older than me, she allways ends up mummying me, and telling me what to do, and what not to do. Cos of her age she thinks she is at a higher mentle status, and can solve problems more easily. And cos of this she continues to lecture me about every other aspect, my lifestyle, clothing, anything that she could lay her hands on.

 

4- Whenever we have been together I end up paying everything, ever for her parking (if she is driving) her petrol, tolls, or any other things. Even I have to pay for her taxi ride if she isnt driving. Is she being mean, or it should ethically be my duty for pay for everything.

 

What you guys (and gals) would suggest me about this perticuler situation. Would this relationship be feasible for me. Thanks for your help in advance.

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She started bleeding while she was on top. Although I did my best effort to make her hot, enough oral, foreplay. But dont know what went wrong. And she complained of pain right after penetration, so we changed positions and asked her to be in top.

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Position is irrelavent. The pain occurred because of too soon penetration (when she was not on top).

 

You seem pretty sure that you did enough foreplay. Was she so sure?

 

Did you ask her? Was she jusst accommodating you and your 35 minutes per lovemaking session?

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I'm extremely confused.

 

You say that you aren't ready for a relationship, still are hording pieces of your ex's hair, yet you say that the new girl has said "those beautiful words" to you. Which words are those? "I love you?" If you aren't ready for a relationship why are the words so beautiful? Why are you letting this girl tell you she loves you and assume that she's your girlfriend if you aren't ready for that?

 

Second, have you gone out more than twice? Have you spent a lot of time together? She's assuming she's your girlfriend because you've let her. The first time she brought it up, you should've told her that you weren't "there" yet.

 

As for your "confusions"...

1- As I still dont find myself ready for a relationship, is it still good to let it go like it is, and let her assumer being my gf.

Absolutely not. You need to tell her exactly where you're at or you are going to end up hurting her immensely. I can't believe you've let it go on for this long.

2- I have a huge sexual appetite. I currently three sex partners, and I have told her about that. I know that she wouldnt be able cop with my sexual desires, as my minimum is three times, per session, 35 mns each, ;) , will it affect the relationship, where she couldnt even bear with me for the first time, and started bleeding.

This makes no sense to me. She thinks she's your girlfriend, but she doesn't mind that you have three sex partners right now? What kind of girl is this? Jeez, hope you're using protection. Don't blame her because she started bleeding. Are you sure she wasn't a virgin? Usually the first time two people have sex things don't go super smoothly because of nerves and not knowing each other very well. You shouldn't write it off because of one bad experience. And next time take note when she is in pain. If she was bleeding, it must've hurt like hell.

3- As she is 4 years older than me, she allways ends up mummying me, and telling me what to do, and what not to do. Cos of her age she thinks she is at a higher mentle status, and can solve problems more easily. And cos of this she continues to lecture me about every other aspect, my lifestyle, clothing, anything that she could lay her hands on.

Then why do you like her? What do you like about this girl?

4- Whenever we have been together I end up paying everything, ever for her parking (if she is driving) her petrol, tolls, or any other things. Even I have to pay for her taxi ride if she isnt driving. Is she being mean, or it should ethically be my duty for pay for everything.

This is ridiculous. She's totally taking advantage of you. At 31, she should have a decent enough job to pay for things, especially her own gas, tolls, and parking. Also, if she's your "girlfriend" she should be willing to pay for around half of your outings. I can't stand it when girls act like this. And just remember that you don't "have" to do anything. Just ask her for her half of the bill when it comes, or don't offer up the money.

 

I really don't understand why you're even in this "relationship" if you don't want a relationship.

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Before I read the responses I am just saying that I would not be worried about confessing everything to her right now but also don't use her as this will in the end bite you in the ass and than you are s.o.l. I would think this through

 

as letting her tell you that she is your girlfriend I would be a little more protective. I ahve been hurt enough by being used I would not take it long.

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There are also creams available (doctor prescribed) to help with her libido; I believe they are testosterone creams that I hear work wonders. Use that in conjunction with lubricants, and a good glass of wine and if she likes you it'll be a go! Be patient and loving with her, that will also work.

You might want to explore the idea of using a lubricant such as "Wet" or "Astroglide" to make her more comfortable.
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