ladydisaster Posted October 2, 2006 Share Posted October 2, 2006 I realized this weekend that I would rather have my Mom walk me down the aisle when I get married. Though my parents didn't divorce until I was 17, my Mom did everything for us and my Dad did very little. After the divorce, he pretty much forgot he even had kids. We keep in touch, and I love him, but I feel like there's a lot of hurt there that is unresolved. I can't talk to him about it because he only makes excuses until I can't stand it anymore and just say "It's ok, Dad". I've been feeling closer than ever to my Mom lately, and I think she deserves the honor more than he does. I want to buy her a gift, a piece of jewelry, and ask her to do me the honor. I guess my question is not so much a question as a concern; how much will this offend my Dad? Should I go along with tradition as not to hurt his feelings, or go with my heart and ask my Mom? I wonder though if maybe it would be a wakeup call to him... Link to post Share on other sites
littlekitty Posted October 2, 2006 Share Posted October 2, 2006 I realized this weekend that I would rather have my Mom walk me down the aisle when I get married. Though my parents didn't divorce until I was 17, my Mom did everything for us and my Dad did very little. After the divorce, he pretty much forgot he even had kids. We keep in touch, and I love him, but I feel like there's a lot of hurt there that is unresolved. I can't talk to him about it because he only makes excuses until I can't stand it anymore and just say "It's ok, Dad". I've been feeling closer than ever to my Mom lately, and I think she deserves the honor more than he does. I want to buy her a gift, a piece of jewelry, and ask her to do me the honor. I guess my question is not so much a question as a concern; how much will this offend my Dad? Should I go along with tradition as not to hurt his feelings, or go with my heart and ask my Mom? I wonder though if maybe it would be a wakeup call to him... I know just how you feel! And this is something I've faced recently too! Unfortunately my father has now passed on, so the possibility of him walking me down the isle is now a moot point. However, for many years I said I wouldn't have wanted him to do it. He had very little input into my life, and it seemed ridiculous to me to follow tradition just for the sake of it. I did ask my Mum is she would like to walk me down the isle. She decided to say no. She wanted to attend my wedding as the Mother of the Bride, and didn't feel it was something she wanted to do. I was completely ok with that, and understood her reasons. So be aware that your Mum might not want to take the task on. She may prefer to take her traditional role. My Grandfather, or a close friend will be walking me down the isle next year. And I'll be over the moon to have either of them do it. Go with your heart. It's YOUR wedding, and you should do what feels right to you. If your Dad is insulted, maybe it will make him think abit.... Link to post Share on other sites
Josalina Posted October 5, 2006 Share Posted October 5, 2006 i understand, y not do what i would like to do and have your mother and father walk you down the aisle, noone can fault that, they both made u, brought u up and r giving u away, well in a sense. even if your mum did more like mine, they is no reason she can't give u away aswell, that way u get to b with your mum, show her how much u appriciate her and keeping the peace with your dad? just a thought. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted October 6, 2006 Share Posted October 6, 2006 I stood up in a Jewish wedding once...the bride's parents her down the aisle, and the groom's parents walk him down the aise. I thought it was lovely. May be a good compromise for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted October 6, 2006 Share Posted October 6, 2006 my brother will wak me down the aisle. my father won't be invited to the wedding. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ladydisaster Posted October 7, 2006 Author Share Posted October 7, 2006 I stood up in a Jewish wedding once...the bride's parents her down the aisle, and the groom's parents walk him down the aise. I thought it was lovely. May be a good compromise for you. That's probably what will end up happening. Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
ThePennyDrops Posted October 9, 2006 Share Posted October 9, 2006 In a Jewish wedding you can pretty much ask whoever you want to walk you down the aisle, or go alone if you want I understand ladydisaster completely- I don't want my dad to walk me up the aisle either... not looking forward to that conversation coming around for me... Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts