giving out a phone # when ur not interested

[Ariadne]

Oh,

 

And Tan, don't use ME as an example...

 

You are an example to all of us girls in the forum .

 

Ariadne

[blind_otter]

hi,

 

 

I was wondering do some girls give out their phone numbers to guys who ask for it even if their not interested?

 

Yes, they do. Some woman named cheryl used my phone number as a dummy phone number and this poor dumbass called like 3 times in a row trying to get in touch with her.

[tanbark813]

And Tan, don't use ME as an example... I DID give my guy a chance!

 

Eventually, but by your own admission you used to do that same sort of thing. And you actually made my point: One of the times where you went against your usual routine and gave the guy a shot, it worked out. I'm guessing BEG is likely to have similar results.

[Touche]

That's mature. You could just as easily say: when girls stop giving out fake numbers, guys will start doing that.

 

It's not a matter of quid pro quo, it's about maturity and having a spine.

 

In the end, I must say I agree with you, Tan. As I said, I had no spine and simply didn't want to be bothered. Not to toot my own horn but I was hit on a LOT when I was single. It was a drag sometimes to have a guy I wasn't really interested in trying to persuade me to give him my number when I had ZERO attraction to him. You'd be amazed how many try to change your mind. It's a tough position to be in...I mean I never could just smply say "I'm not interested." I'd give different excuses but they were never good enough for most guys. They'd just be spurred on. So I'd cave give them the number and then have to start all over with the charade of giving excuses over the phone, (as to why I couldn't go out.)

 

At the time it just seemed easier to gve a fake number. Some guys just don't take a hint..what can I say?

 

I think now though, I'd just say "I'm very sorry but I'm just not interested in dating" and leave it at that. I wouldn't make it personal or anything. I'd just be firm.

 

Oh and thanks, Ariadne!

[alphamale]

Yes, they do. Some woman named cheryl used my phone number as a dummy phone number and this poor dumbass called like 3 times in a row trying to get in touch with her.

do you remember the episode of SeinFeld where Elaine was giving out her fake number and it was a horse betting operation's number. She got busted by them and they said to her "Oh...so YOU'RE Elaine!".

 

I think that was the same episode with the Festivus Celebration, the Two Face girl Jerry was dating and Kramer working at the bagel store

[Touche]

Eventually, but by your own admission you used to do that same sort of thing. And you actually made my point: One of the times where you went against your usual routine and gave the guy a shot, it worked out. I'm guessing BEG is likely to have similar results.

 

Yes, true. You're right.

[Ariadne]

Hey Touche,

 

He gave me that same "go out as friends" line. He was the first man I ever REALLY believed though.

 

(Hahahaha)

[tanbark813]

I think now though, I'd just say "I'm very sorry but I'm just not interested in dating" and leave it at that. I wouldn't make it personal or anything. I'd just be firm.

 

Yeah, that's much better. Much nicer than wondering for days if she's going to call you back.

 

(And I meant that seriously just in case that comes across as sarcastic in text. )

[dgiirl]

I just saw bon cop, bad cop this past weekend. They have a line where the girl asks the guy for his number, and he responds with "9".... "1".... "1".... lol I think i'll use that if the guy is too persistent.

[grateful]

Not to toot my own horn but I was hit on a LOT when I was single. It was a drag sometimes to have a guy I wasn't really interested in trying to persuade me to give him my number when I had ZERO attraction to him. You'd be amazed how many try to change your mind. It's a tough position to be in...I mean I never could just smply say "I'm not interested." I'd give different excuses but they were never good enough for most guys. They'd just be spurred on. So I'd cave give them the number and then have to start all over with the charade of giving excuses over the phone, (as to why I couldn't go out.)

 

As the person who suggested saying "I'm not interested," I have to disagree that a man's persistence negates that strategy. Hey... while we are tooting horns, let me add that I've been hit on a lot when I was single, a lot now that I'm attached, and forsee being hit on in the future. A firm "I'm not interested," repeated if necessary, worked and continues to work just fine.

 

There is no reason to submit "excuses" in person or on the phone. A woman should never let a man bully her into changing her answer or come up with excuses or come up with fake numbers. Have enough confidence in yourself and your decisions to be firm and gentle. If a man bullies you with his persistence then be firm and nasty. But excuses and fake numbers? Why let a man you don't know have that much power over you?

 

Yeah I've been called a stuck up b*tch, but so what? At least I wasn't spineless.

[SmoochieFace]

There is no reason to submit "excuses" in person or on the phone. A woman should never let a man bully her into changing her answer or come up with excuses or come up with fake numbers. Have enough confidence in yourself and your decisions to be firm and gentle. If a man bullies you with his persistence then be firm and nasty. But excuses and fake numbers? Why let a man you don't know have that much power over you?

 

This is basically a 'confidence issue', not an 'I'm afraid of hurting his feelings' issue. JMO, of course.

[moman]

I abhor when I get a number from a girl who is clearly not interested. To curb this behavior I rarely ask for numbers, most of the time I wait until the girl is that interested that she gives it to me without me asking or she makes it very clear that she is interested.

 

Tonight I have a date with a girl I met at a social hour last Friday - she acted really interested and I called and we chatted on Sunday and agreed to meet up. When I called on Monday to confirm where we would meet no answer. I started thinking I had been duped again (I left a message saying Hi, this is me, and I was calling to chat about tomorrow. I'll call later). Note that I did not say "call me" because I rarely do that unless I don't care, because most of the time a semi-interested girl won't call. Before I could call her again, she was calling me to confirm the date. Yippeee :D:D:D:D:D:D

[Touche]

As the person who suggested saying "I'm not interested," I have to disagree that a man's persistence negates that strategy. Hey... while we are tooting horns, let me add that I've been hit on a lot when I was single, a lot now that I'm attached, and forsee being hit on in the future. A firm "I'm not interested," repeated if necessary, worked and continues to work just fine.

 

There is no reason to submit "excuses" in person or on the phone. A woman should never let a man bully her into changing her answer or come up with excuses or come up with fake numbers. Have enough confidence in yourself and your decisions to be firm and gentle. If a man bullies you with his persistence then be firm and nasty. But excuses and fake numbers? Why let a man you don't know have that much power over you?

 

Yeah I've been called a stuck up b*tch, but so what? At least I wasn't spineless.

 

 

That's all well and good Grateful but it never used to work with me. I already admitted I was spineless and wouldn't do that now if I were single. I think the reason why a simple "no I'm not interested" didn't work for me at that time, was because guys picked up on my character. I wasn't firm and I wasn't self-confident so they persisted.

 

I mean you're absolutely right...to a degree I DID let men I didn't even know (as well as the ones I knew) have power over me.

 

But one thing I must disagree with YOU about though is this...I think in my heart I'd rather be called spineless than a stuck up bytch. I mean they're both not good but...that's just me.

 

And Ariadne, ha ha! Yeah, I fell for my husband's line! But he wasn't BS'ing me. He really was acting as my friend only and offered to help me move from my parent's house into my apartment. He was a perfect gentleman for quite a while.

[grateful]

 

But one thing I must disagree with YOU about though is this...I think in my heart I'd rather be called spineless than a stuck up bytch. I mean they're both not good but...that's just me.

 

 

This is not the choice I set up... it was not between being a stuck up b*tch and being spineless in my own heart and by my own definition. It was between either being called stuck up (heck choose any name - - men can get mean when faced with even polite rejection), and being spineless.

 

In my heart, I certainly never agreed with any of the mean names I was called. But I knew they turned on me because I was asserting myself and upseting the gender power differential. Didn't make me any more stuck up than someone who would give a fake number. Frankly, it made me less of a b*tch cause I wasn't leading anybody on.

[Ariadne]

Hey,

 

I DID let men I didn't even know (as well as the ones I knew) have power over me.

 

The weirdest one for me was a guy in a club. I talked to him for a while and when he asked me for my number I told him no. So he demanded the number, I'm like no. Why not? I don't want to. And he got really mad and told me I was making him waste his time and what not. I split.

 

Ariadne

[Almost]

Guys persist in asking for numbers even when told no the first few times, because we hear stories all the time about how women just want to play hard to get, want to test the guy to see if he really likes her, etc. Guys think some women want to be chased and talked into going out with them, to prove the guy is persistent and will go to great lengths to prove his love.

 

Movies, especailly romantic comedy "chick flicks", are filled with stories about dorky guys who just keep persisting in going after a girl and finally wins her in the end. Ever notice how every freakin sit com on TV is about a dorky wussy guy and a gal who has it all together?

 

But if a guy approaches and he asks for your number, and you're like, "no I'm not interested", and he says "Ok, see you later" and leaves, then women will complain that he didn't try hard enough and since he wasn't persistent, then they will say "I guess he just wasn't that into me".

 

Guys can't win either way. If women would stop playing games and stop playing hard to get, then guys would give up quicker when a girl shoots him down the first time.

[climbergirl]

Guys persist in asking for numbers even when told no the first few times, because we hear stories all the time about how women just want to play hard to get, want to test the guy to see if he really likes her, etc. Guys think some women want to be chased and talked into going out with them, to prove the guy is persistent and will go to great lengths to prove his love.

 

Movies, especailly romantic comedy "chick flicks", are filled with stories about dorky guys who just keep persisting in going after a girl and finally wins her in the end. Ever notice how every freakin sit com on TV is about a dorky wussy guy and a gal who has it all together?

 

But if a guy approaches and he asks for your number, and you're like, "no I'm not interested", and he says "Ok, see you later" and leaves, then women will complain that he didn't try hard enough and since he wasn't persistent, then they will say "I guess he just wasn't that into me".

 

Guys can't win either way. If women would stop playing games and stop playing hard to get, then guys would give up quicker when a girl shoots him down the first time.

 

 

It's a crap shoot (giving some guy our #)-and ultimately I'd rather just take his number and trust my gut instinct. Way safer.

And even the 'I have a boyfriend' excuse may not work. I had some guy approach me at the store, ask me for my number, I told him I had a boyfriend and this psycho followed me home/called my home #.

 

Playing hard to get? Come on!-some guys just misinterpret 'no' for 'maybe'. And from now on I'll placate just enough (i.e. take his #) to insure I don't have to look over my shoulder.

[Almost]

Actually in my experience, if a woman gives me her number, that pretty much means she's interested in me. I've never had a woman give me her real number that turned out to not be interested. I've also never had a woman give me a fake number.

 

On the other hand, if a girl says she wants my number and won't give me hers, that's usually an indication that she doesn't really like me and it's her way of turning me down. I've never given a girl my number or card where she actually followed though with calling me. Girls never call.

 

So if I ask a girl for her number and she gives it to me, I know I'm in. But if she offers to take my number instead, I pretty much assume she's turning me down.

 

But I know friends of mine who give girls their numbers all the time and they call, so it works for them. It's never worked for me though.

[climbergirl]

Actually in my experience, if a woman gives me her number, that pretty much means she's interested in me. I've never had a woman give me her real number that turned out to not be interested. I've also never had a woman give me a fake number.

 

On the other hand, if a girl says she wants my number and won't give me hers, that's usually an indication that she doesn't really like me and it's her way of turning me down. I've never given a girl my number or card where she actually followed though with calling me. Girls never call.

 

So if I ask a girl for her number and she gives it to me, I know I'm in. But if she offers to take my number instead, I pretty much assume she's turning me down.

 

But I know friends of mine who give girls their numbers all the time and they call, so it works for them. It's never worked for me though.

 

Not always true. I don't give it to them for a myriad of reasons....during certain times of the day my kids need my full attention, I'm running errands/attending appts, he 'may be psycho' factor. And I hate talking on the phone....but I took a guys number a few days ago, I called him and we are going out this weekend.

 

But I do think you have to have a solid reason or common interest for them (girls)to call. I'd never just make some random/ambiguous call to some guy I hardly knew.

[tanbark813]

Frankly, it made me less of a b*tch cause I wasn't leading anybody on.

 

W3rd.

 

And for the record, not all guys will call a girl a bitch just for politely turning them down. A lot of guys appreciate the honesty.

[Touche]

Hey,

 

I DID let men I didn't even know (as well as the ones I knew) have power over me.

 

The weirdest one for me was a guy in a club. I talked to him for a while and when he asked me for my number I told him no. So he demanded the number, I'm like no. Why not? I don't want to. And he got really mad and told me I was making him waste his time and what not. I split.

 

Ariadne

 

I know. You CAN'T win. You're a BYTCH if you are honest and just say you are not interested and you're spineless and/or a bytch if you give them your real number and avoid them later or give them a fake number. You just can't win.

 

I think the BEST solution though, having done all of the above is to just say you're not interested in dating now but thank you and you're flattered and then just walk away.

 

Now, as I've said, in my husband's case (when I told him that i wasn't interested at all in dating since I was so recently separated from my ex-H) that just spurred him on to give me his card "in case I changed my mind" which I did. I did call him...something I'd never done before. So you never know.

[Touche]

W3rd.

 

And for the record, not all guys will call a girl a bitch just for politely turning them down. A lot of guys appreciate the honesty.

 

True. But it would amaze you to know how many get nasty.

[alphamale]

Guys persist in asking for numbers even when told no the first few times, because we hear stories all the time about how women just want to play hard to get, want to test the guy to see if he really likes her, etc. Guys think some women want to be chased and talked into going out with them, to prove the guy is persistent and will go to great lengths to prove his love.

If a woman genuinely likes a guy she will go out of her way to make sure he can contact her or see her again. Women control the flood gates to sex. 95% of the women an avg man approaches will not be interested.

 

Movies, especailly romantic comedy "chick flicks", are filled with stories about dorky guys who just keep persisting in going after a girl and finally wins her in the end. Ever notice how every freakin sit com on TV is about a dorky wussy guy and a gal who has it all together?

thats cause these movies and TV shows are all directed at women...

[Touche]

f a woman genuinely likes a guy she will go out of her way to make sure he can contact her or see her again. Women control the flood gates to sex. 95% of the women an avg man approaches will not be interested.

 

Hate to agree with you but I must. This has been true for me and and all of my experiences as a single female. Yes, I rejected most "average" men. I was never into average men.

 

I'm going to get slammed for this but so be it. If you're an "average" man going for an above average woman, YES you will be rejected 95% of the time. HINT: Average men who stick to average women have a MUCH better success rate.

[tanbark813]

I'm going to get slammed for this but so be it. If you're an "average" man going for an above average woman, YES you will be rejected 95% of the time. HINT: Average men who stick to average women have a MUCH better success rate.

 

The problem is when you get average women thinking they're above average. (I'm not saying that you are average, Touche, since I've never met you, but you get a lot of that in this area.)