Missing girlfriend so badly

[Guest]

I was dumped on the 3rd September by my girlfriend without any real reasoning. I originally thought it was we argued a lot because we were both so stubborn. I was very upset but managed to accept it, up until two days ago when she came to meet me at work to talk after I'd been a bit mean in some texts due to being upset.

 

She basically let me know the main reason she left me was because she felt I still had strong feelings for my ex. Now this isn't true at all. The unfortunate thing for me is that I still work with my ex and obviously she felt we were closer than we should be. This is definitely not true. My ex is a still a great friend and I care about her but thats it. I will never have any feelings for my ex again. How can I make her see she has made a huge mistake?

 

I asked her if that was the main reason for the split and she said yes. It hurt so much. Being dumped when it wasn't even true She also added that she is having so much fun being single and is much happier now. She says she doesn't want to try again.

 

The trouble is, I feel she has a barrier up and is not letting her real feelings known. I was silly to beg her for another chance and have also written her a letter a couple of weeks ago saying we should try again. The strange thing is, it only really hurt once I saw her and she told me how great her life is now.

 

Anyway, i've decided to go with NC for now. I do still miss her immensely though and struggle to think of anything else. I really want to move on but it's so tough.

 

Thanks for listening.

[brisman]

Not much you can do about it. Some people (women ?) cannot deal with their partners having *any* contact with exs, whether by choice or necessity. Is it fair ? No. But fair doesn't mean anything in this game.

 

In any case, that's not your biggest problem, that is that she's much happier being single and doesn't want you.

 

It doesn't matter how she got there, that's where she is.

 

You need to move on and go NC.

[ImInPain]

Ex's always cause problems. Sometimes the person your with just needs to be more understanding and I don't know myself how to get them that way. My ex GF told me I was never to see my ex wife again and then she left me. Good luck and try the NC.

[Guest]

I've been doing the NC thing like you suggested. It's been a week now and already in that time she's text me twice. Once she asked what I was doing because she was bored at home and the other time she text to ask how I was.

 

Both times I answered but with short friendly replies. When she asked me how I was, she said "I'm good, I think."

 

It doesn't quite appear she's as happy as she was only a week ago. However, like you said, although it still hurts a bit, I'm sticking to NC at my end and replying if she decides to contact me. Thanks for the advice.