laRubiaBonita Posted October 3, 2006 Share Posted October 3, 2006 i feel guilty, i feel smothered, i feel forced, I feel….soo unsure talking about the new guy, been together 5 months. he was telling me he loved me after 2 weeks. he has expressed that he does not want to scare me off, or pressure me... i do not have to say it back. he has told me after 1 month, he wants me in his life always, he wants to be my husband. he loves me, he loves me, he loves me. then there's me... miss hide from emotions, do not get too attached (i was just burned)..... i pull away. i do care a lot about him, i think i do even love him...... but i do not know. i kinda feel like he is deciding my future..... i want to rebel, i am in my own self destructive ways, kinda. he tells 20+ times a day he loves me, he does not want me to forget he says. i could see myself marrying him… maybe, if he changed somewhat. He is soo anal and set in his own ways. I can compromise, but why should I be the one who always is expected to compromise? He hates his job, its puts him in a crappy negative mood…. I don’t need any catalysts to help me achieve a crappy mood. He might have more debt than me…. Ugh. He still at home… ugh. He treats him mother mean… I feel so bad for her, he is just disrespectful to his folks. Maybe cause of the stress of living there, but really, you just do not curse at your mother when you live under your parents roof. we have a good time together..... i just do not know. Link to post Share on other sites
Ross_K Posted October 3, 2006 Share Posted October 3, 2006 Sounds like he's being too smoothering. This seems like a case of the nice guy syndrome and you could end up really going off him and finishing things with him. You need to tell him to back off, chill out and give you some space. Link to post Share on other sites
NTB Posted October 3, 2006 Share Posted October 3, 2006 that's too many "loves you" i would have ran the second week into this relatonship. you can't love after 2 weeks Link to post Share on other sites
Ross_K Posted October 3, 2006 Share Posted October 3, 2006 I think I've ended up loving someone within 2 weeks. Link to post Share on other sites
samsungxoxo Posted October 3, 2006 Share Posted October 3, 2006 Yea some people are lovey dovey overly affectionated, I'm not like that either. You might want to tell him how that makes you feel uncomfortable. Link to post Share on other sites
Author laRubiaBonita Posted October 3, 2006 Author Share Posted October 3, 2006 well, like i was saying he really did not say it too much initially, but after the first month..... whew! i don't know..... at the same time, i do push people away when i feel they may like me too much, it does not help my self-worthless prophecy any! but it's true. plus he says i talk too much, smoke too much, i am sure he will soon say i drink too much..... Link to post Share on other sites
Ross_K Posted October 3, 2006 Share Posted October 3, 2006 plus he says i talk too much, smoke too much, i am sure he will soon say i drink too much..... This is the way you were when he met you and now it's like he's wanting you to be different. You're your own individual person and you've got to let him know how things are and the sooner the better, otherwise it could escalate. Link to post Share on other sites
Ross_K Posted October 3, 2006 Share Posted October 3, 2006 Anyway, it's strange. I hear this happening a lot, you know, men being to smoothering like saying I love you too soon or wanting to step up the relationship too fast and scaring women off. I always used to think it was the other way around. You'd think women would really like men being like this. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted October 3, 2006 Share Posted October 3, 2006 LRB, you're not in love with him or you would know so there is no point in marrying him. He doesn't seem to be even close to making you fall in love with him. It's up to you whether you will stay in a relationship that basically has no perspective or move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted October 3, 2006 Share Posted October 3, 2006 he was telling me he loved me after 2 weeks. there is the beginning to your answer.. I have had colds longer than that .. 2 months .. maybe.. but 2 weeks..no way.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author laRubiaBonita Posted October 3, 2006 Author Share Posted October 3, 2006 there is the beginning to your answer.. I have had colds longer than that .. 2 months .. maybe.. but 2 weeks..no way.. these were nearly my thoughts too. I mean i am a very lovable, awesome person, but unless we spent 24 hours of everyday of those 2 weeks together....... i do not see it ! and now i feel guilty for possibly leading him on.....this sucks! Link to post Share on other sites
hotgurl Posted October 3, 2006 Share Posted October 3, 2006 I think saying I love you too soon and that he wants to spend his life with you after 1 month is kinda creepy. I know I would have ran. Also tha fact that he lives at home and treats his mother crappy doesn't excatly make him seem like relationship material. How old is he? Link to post Share on other sites
magichands Posted October 3, 2006 Share Posted October 3, 2006 , i feel forced, What do you mean by forced? he tells 20+ times a day he loves me, Because he wants something, maybe?? He is soo anal and set Oh...THAT. Ouch! No wonder he keeps reminding you that he loves you. we have a good time together..... A good time?! Yeah, that's love all right. Well...I'm being stupid. Maybe you need to have a talk with him. You know, another one. Let him know that you want a bit of room to wiggle around. Link to post Share on other sites
typical Posted October 3, 2006 Share Posted October 3, 2006 He treats him mother mean… I feel so bad for her, he is just disrespectful to his folks. Maybe cause of the stress of living there, but really, you just do not curse at your mother when you live under your parents roof. It has often been said to watch how someone you are considering long term with treats their parents and other women because that is how they will treat you too in the future.. but I dont know much, so... also, He is soo anal and set in his own ways. I can compromise, but why should I be the one who always is expected to compromise? Yes, more than likely you will be the one who will be compromising especially since you mentioned the dead giveaway: He is soo anal, and set in his ways. plus he says i talk too much, smoke too much, i am sure he will soon say i drink too much..... I would watch this and other little "complaints" he may have....it will start out innocuously enough and then it will take a turn for the worse. he wants me in his life always, he wants to be my husband Yes, I am sure he is thinking "let me hurry and marry her before she finds out who I REALLY am" Just beware. And dont be afraid to fall in love, but lay down the law as early as possible. Its on 5 months now....perhaps you should revisit what you both really need and want with him right now. a perfect opportunity to tell him that he is making you feel slightly uncomfortable. Link to post Share on other sites
Author laRubiaBonita Posted October 3, 2006 Author Share Posted October 3, 2006 thank you all for kinda confirming my fears....... He is 30. i know he was away at school, incurred alot of credit card debts, so he is back living at home. BUT i am living at home again too. On the other hand i am trying to get out, he says he wants out, but he makes no actions to get moving.... like finishing school, to get a better job, and move out. and yes it has been suggested, but i am tired of beating that horse. i am content to stay in this spot in gthe rtealtionship for a bit, get my bearings and then see where it goes, but i really do not think i will spending to much time contemplating........ Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted October 3, 2006 Share Posted October 3, 2006 and now i feel guilty for possibly leading him on.....this sucks! My most recent breakup was this way.. she had the love eyes after about 2 weeks.. I felt guilty ending it with her but I knew I couldn't fall in love with her and felt it was the only fair thing to do. we weren't meant for each other.. I think you need to talk to him open and honestly about it all.. Lay all the cards out there for you both to see and see what happens.. who knows.. you may wind up feeling differently about him if you hammer it out.. Link to post Share on other sites
NTB Posted October 3, 2006 Share Posted October 3, 2006 He still at home… i just caught this....how old is this guy???? lose the loser Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted October 3, 2006 Share Posted October 3, 2006 i he was telling me he loved me after 2 weeks. Loser! he has told me after 1 month, he wants me in his life always, he wants to be my husband. he loves me, he loves me, he loves me. Loser! he tells 20+ times a day he loves me, he does not want me to forget he says. Loser! He hates his job, Loser! He still at home… Loser! Link to post Share on other sites
Author laRubiaBonita Posted October 3, 2006 Author Share Posted October 3, 2006 and he has anger management issues...aka, yelling/ cussing at his mother, i think he has yelled at me, he has attitude problems at work(we work for the same large company), and he yells and cusses waaay to much while driving. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted October 3, 2006 Share Posted October 3, 2006 and he has anger management issues...aka, yelling/ cussing at his mother, mistreating one's mom is where I draw the line... Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted October 3, 2006 Share Posted October 3, 2006 yelling/ cussing at his mother, I'm with Alpha on this one.. anybody who would yell or cuss their mother.. even though I have gotten thru a quick temper phase of my life I have never cussed or yelled at my mom.. Kick this guy to the curb.... Mom=Woman You=Woman you will be treated like he treats his Mom.. For the record.. I have always treated my Mom with respect.. She is an Angel Link to post Share on other sites
Ross_K Posted October 3, 2006 Share Posted October 3, 2006 How does hating your job or falling in love after 2 weeks make you a loser? Link to post Share on other sites
Author laRubiaBonita Posted October 3, 2006 Author Share Posted October 3, 2006 mistreating one's mom is where I draw the line... me too! we were at the ravens game with 2 other friends, who are chics, (who are into chics).... and in "jest" he called me a b!tch I said "what?" he was like oh, i was only kidding blah blah blah.... but 1. we were infront of his friends 2. you do not call me bad names like that EVER! of course he apologized..... and i am sure it sounds like he is being more of a dick than not.... which really isn't true, but the fact that he is a dick alot, bothers the stew outta me..... and i am not COOL with it.... YO! Link to post Share on other sites
Ross_K Posted October 3, 2006 Share Posted October 3, 2006 I'm with Alpha on this one.. anybody who would yell or cuss their mother.. even though I have gotten thru a quick temper phase of my life I have never cussed or yelled at my mom.. Kick this guy to the curb.... Mom=Woman You=Woman you will be treated like he treats his Mom.. For the record.. I have always treated my Mom with respect.. She is an Angel Maybe his mum treats him really bad though. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted October 3, 2006 Share Posted October 3, 2006 How does hating your job or falling in love after 2 weeks make you a loser? dude, you have to figure it out yourself otherwise you will make no progress or gain any experience. Link to post Share on other sites
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