Mjfru Posted October 4, 2006 Share Posted October 4, 2006 Well here's my story. There's a friend of mine and we've been extremely close for over three years now. She's helped me out with issues when I was with my ex and after my ex and I split we just got closer, we became great friends and she's definetaly one of my best friends. Anyway . . . when I first met her I knew something was there, but I was with my ex so I didn't bother with it. If I had bothered with it then maybe we'd be together now . . . because at the time she did have a thing for me (three years ago). Anyway shortly after I broke up with my ex, I had realized how wonderful she was and I wanted to tell her how I really felt about her, but she just gotten a new bf, and she wanted me to be all happy for her and whatnot. I didn't want to upset her, I just wanted her to be happy, so I just accepted it. She was with him for around 2 years and he treated her horribly . . . I had always wished it was me at the time. To cloud myself from her I had just tried to get a crush on random girls within those two years (we had gone to the same college at the time so girls that she knew of). She would help me out with girl issues, and I'd help her out with guy issues, and I never hinted at the fact that lying beneath it all I had a huge crush on her and was REALLY falling for her over the course of our friendship. Then at the beginning of last summer, she had broken up with her bf, I was ready to tell her, I went out and bought her a rose, snuck into her room and placed it on her bed. Then I went home (I was a day student) and I typed a message on AIM to her like, "I hope you enjoy the rose ;)" The next time I saw her, or if she had answered to my IM, I was going to go over and tell her exactly how I felt. Well she had answered to my IM, and she thought it was the sweetest thing someone has done for her in a while, and I was ready to go tell her, but then my sister reminded me that this might mess up the awsome friendship we have, and I choked and never went to tell her. Then a day later she had a friend of hers that she hooked me up with and that girl was yet another cloud to keep me away from the one I really wanted to be with. For a good course of the summer I was hooked on that girl she hooked me up with, just because I figured it was futile to try to tell my friend how I really felt. At this point we went to different colleges and she was too far away so I figured it would be useless when the school year hit. She also was living in Delaware and I was in New York the whole summer. But my sister and I had gone down for a week to visit her in Delaware over the summer, and I figured that it's gotta be all or nothing with that trip. When we went down I was ready to tell her, SO ready, but she instantly hit me with a plethora of guys that she had a thing for and instantly tried to hook me up with girls she knew of. We had a great time down there, but it was all like our normal friendship has been the last 3 years. This pretty much made me give up on telling her all together . . . . Recently I've been having dreams about us together, and I've been thinking about her again more and more. She's at college in New York City, and I'm at college up in Utica, NY. So we're not that far apart, but the difference is that i'm never really busy, but she's in the city, so she's always busy meeting new guys and whatnot. I really want to see her again, and this time it's been too much to handle, too much built up, I would definetaly tell her the next time I see her exactly how i've felt for around three years. But what I really need to know is should I tell her? I mean yes it has built up and I feel like telling her is the best, but . . . . I don't want to destroy our friendship either . . . . Literally I've been like this for around 3 years, and I feel like it's the right thing to tell her . . . . but if our friendship gets hurt, which I feel it may, I don't know if this is the right move really . . . . . I just would like some peoples opinions . . . Link to post Share on other sites
blue16 Posted October 4, 2006 Share Posted October 4, 2006 Well, you can ask her out and either 1) she also has feelings for you, and you can begin a long-distance relationship. 2) she sees you as "just a friend" (most likely choice, to be honest) and you know your answer one way or the other. Or...you can keep being her girly friend, standing by through her various relationships - secretly hidden with jealously and wishing you were her bf and not the other guy. If you're man enough, tell her how you feel and atleast it will be off your chest. It's not healthy to be 'just friends' with someone whom you feel more with. If she doesn't feel the same way, then it's time to move on. Risking the 'friendship' is much better than sitting on the sidelines as her guy friend. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mjfru Posted October 5, 2006 Author Share Posted October 5, 2006 this is all very true. You're right, sitting on the sidelines does suck, I just didn't want to destroy the friendship. But now that I think about it, this shouldn't destroy it, afterall we should be honest to each other. You see when I was with my ex I feel so stupid that I didn't just break up with my ex (who was cheating on me at the time) and start dating this girl. She would flirt around with me all the time and has admitted to me repeatedly that she would've dated me back then. My mistake I suppose . . . but yeah I'm going to go for it now . . . . and I just hope she has a little of the same feelings . . . . Link to post Share on other sites
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