holly Posted March 14, 2002 Share Posted March 14, 2002 how can the same person be two different people? this guy has a way at giving me little jabs that really hurt my feelings. he can be super sweet one minute then the next he can be such an axx-hole, how can this be? some people think he is the nicest person in the world but they don't live with him so they don't know what he is really like. the only good thing is that he is not abusive like my last boyfriend was, but he is verbally abusive and at times emotionally abusive with his jabs that really hurt. what can i say to him to make him stop? i've already told him how much it hurts but now he says i'm too sensitive. short of leaving him for this i don't know what else to do. he really offers me little to no support but then when he wants it and i act like he does to show him how it feels i get acussed of not being supportive, seems i can't win anyway i try so whats a person to do? of course i have given him support many a times in the past but when it is not reciprocated it is really hard to give back to him what i need at times too but don't get. Link to post Share on other sites
holly Posted March 15, 2002 Share Posted March 15, 2002 also when i call him and ask him about something like when are we going to dinner he gets mad and yells at me for pressuring him, how is this presurring him, i don't demand anything i semply ask him and right away if he is having a bad day he gets mad at me! there are alot of things like this that he does, he is no saint by any means of the word saint but he has some good qualities too, but these other things really hurt alot. how can the same person be two different people? this guy has a way at giving me little jabs that really hurt my feelings. he can be super sweet one minute then the next he can be such an axx-hole, how can this be? some people think he is the nicest person in the world but they don't live with him so they don't know what he is really like. the only good thing is that he is not abusive like my last boyfriend was, but he is verbally abusive and at times emotionally abusive with his jabs that really hurt. what can i say to him to make him stop? i've already told him how much it hurts but now he says i'm too sensitive. short of leaving him for this i don't know what else to do. he really offers me little to no support but then when he wants it and i act like he does to show him how it feels i get acussed of not being supportive, seems i can't win anyway i try so whats a person to do? of course i have given him support many a times in the past but when it is not reciprocated it is really hard to give back to him what i need at times too but don't get. Link to post Share on other sites
velvet Posted March 15, 2002 Share Posted March 15, 2002 Thats a perfect example to let him know you wont stand for it. You wont take it and if he cant think about his words before saying them you will leave. And if he cant help himself he needs the help from a doctor if he wants to continue his r/s with you. There are no moves or words of wisdom that will open his eyes,ears, and heart. Only the threat of loosing you. also when i call him and ask him about something like when are we going to dinner he gets mad and yells at me for pressuring him, how is this presurring him, i don't demand anything i semply ask him and right away if he is having a bad day he gets mad at me! there are alot of things like this that he does, he is no saint by any means of the word saint but he has some good qualities too, but these other things really hurt alot. Link to post Share on other sites
holly Posted March 15, 2002 Share Posted March 15, 2002 i've tried defending my self in situations like this and he gets mad again saying that i ask too many questions, i know i do but how else am i suppose to know what is going on? maybe things just arent my business and i should butt out of his life at work by not calling him there again, but like a while ago again i was asking him a bunch of questions to understand why he was going to be late now for dinner because we are going out and i am getting hungry. i understand his job has precedence over dinner so i ate something to hld me over, but still he was very impatient and ill tempered, maybe i just should of kept my mouth shut cause that really annoyed him, me asking questions when he was already high strung on this deal he is working on. Thats a perfect example to let him know you wont stand for it. You wont take it and if he cant think about his words before saying them you will leave. And if he cant help himself he needs the help from a doctor if he wants to continue his r/s with you. There are no moves or words of wisdom that will open his eyes,ears, and heart. Only the threat of loosing you. Link to post Share on other sites
velvet Posted March 15, 2002 Share Posted March 15, 2002 You shouldnt have to shut your mouth in the future. Why would you want to treat yourself without respect. Maybe you should tell him, when hes calm, and in a good mood that you feel like your walking on pins and needles around him. If he gets attitude then, seriously look at him stare him down in the eye and tell him your not going to be with him too much longer. If he tells you to hit the road, do it. R/S should be 50/50 and not have to worry about saying something to upset the other. He sounds like he doesnt respect you. i've tried defending my self in situations like this and he gets mad again saying that i ask too many questions, i know i do but how else am i suppose to know what is going on? maybe things just arent my business and i should butt out of his life at work by not calling him there again, but like a while ago again i was asking him a bunch of questions to understand why he was going to be late now for dinner because we are going out and i am getting hungry. i understand his job has precedence over dinner so i ate something to hld me over, but still he was very impatient and ill tempered, maybe i just should of kept my mouth shut cause that really annoyed him, me asking questions when he was already high strung on this deal he is working on. Link to post Share on other sites
Angel Posted March 15, 2002 Share Posted March 15, 2002 A man that loves you won't hurt you that way. It's real simple---move on. He does not treat you the way you should be treated--he should listen to your feelings, and if he doesn't dump him. It'll save you hundreds of hours of grief and pain. Good luck. how can the same person be two different people? this guy has a way at giving me little jabs that really hurt my feelings. he can be super sweet one minute then the next he can be such an axx-hole, how can this be? some people think he is the nicest person in the world but they don't live with him so they don't know what he is really like. the only good thing is that he is not abusive like my last boyfriend was, but he is verbally abusive and at times emotionally abusive with his jabs that really hurt. what can i say to him to make him stop? i've already told him how much it hurts but now he says i'm too sensitive. short of leaving him for this i don't know what else to do. he really offers me little to no support but then when he wants it and i act like he does to show him how it feels i get acussed of not being supportive, seems i can't win anyway i try so whats a person to do? of course i have given him support many a times in the past but when it is not reciprocated it is really hard to give back to him what i need at times too but don't get. Link to post Share on other sites
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