Why dont I care anymore

[brokenhearted29]

My husband and I have been seperated for 3 months and I dont seem to care anymore. My husband still comes around almost everyday but clamis he needs time to himself. He calls me all the time and still gives me money. I use to cry every night when he was not around but now I dont. I'm use to his behavior and I dont like that. I dont think what he is doing is acceptable but what can I do about it. I can get a divorce and run from the problem. But I have chosen to be with this man through tough times and good so I try to stick it out and deal with it. I hope real soon he will come to his senses and realize where he belongs. I honesly think that he knows that and thats why he is hanging on to me. But then I feel stupid becasue I let him do me like this. But its kind of nice becasue I am not stressed about it anymore. I decided to put it in gods hands.

[Guest]

Wow, I am blown away by your post.

 

"But then I feel stupid becasue I let him do me like this."

"I decided to put it in gods hands."

 

Why don't you take back you power. Tell him to chose now no more crap because you have a life to live and if he is not going to live it with you then you will live it without him and make your decision and stick to it.

 

He knows that he's not going to lose you.

 

Your the only one who can change this.

[Guest]

If he really cared he would just come back....he is playing both sides of the fence....not letting you go but not commiting to you anymore. Don't lose your self in this so called relationship that is going no where because even if he came back now; too much has been lost and that is why you don't care. You have become numb to everything because that way it does not hurt. Just let it go and get your self respect back....believe me; you will feel better about yourself.

[anna13]

my post hasnt posted yet but your story sounds familiar. my husband got his own place last week and he is telling me he doesnt want a divorce right now and wants to stay married but just cant deal with things and wants to enjoy his hobbies ect. we have two kids and he calls me when he wants to . If I call him he is annoyed time to time. says he needs space. I am confused but at the same time I dont want to chase him away because i want to save our marriage. i like you think the same way , for good and for bad. i also hope that he realizes and wakes up . but it hurts terribly for me rightnow. to get to where you are now would be a blessing for me . but it is a hard situation. a firend told me that I should give him space and time if that is what he needs but eventually it will be up to me how long i will be able to handle this situation. she said to me that there is no way to see how things will turn out so she told me to just move on like he is never coming back . easier said then done. but i know how you feel. If you give him an ultimatum like come home now or divorce he may just say divorce. all situations are different of course. but this one is a difficult one , for you and for me. you might not want to give him the ultimatum rightnow if your not ready for an answer you dont want to hear, but like my friends says while he has youon hold you may one day decide that this isnt for you. maybe i will too , but till then i wont give up this relationship. my pain is still one week fresh . I am glad you have some peace at least with your emotions.

[KieraM]

I'm sorry for what you're going through. It's been 3 months for me too. I cried a lot at first, too. Also, don't feel stupid for hoping he comes to his senses. Follow your gut instincts and don't worry about what anyone else has to say or think.

 

Sometimes, it's easier to not care for awhile. I felt that way at times, too. It's totally normal. Also, maybe once you put it in God's hands, he gave you comfort. I don't know what to say to make this easier for you or to make you feel better. I just wanted to let you know you're not alone.

[PWSX3]

I am another one going thru a separation and it's been a month and a half for me.

I got the speach; I need my space, I need to be an adult, I'm not in love with you, but I do love you, etc. etc. etc.

The difference is I haven't talked to the W since she moved out. When we went to the counselor she asked what we wanted to do and I left it up to the W since she was the one moving out and she didn't want any contact for the first month. We were suppose to meet the counselor on the 28th last month but she had a family emergancy so we haven't done that yet.

I would think it would be harder letting your other half come & go as they please and it would be harder for you to heal.

If they want there space to think that is fine, give it to them because whatever you say to them at this time won't do any good, I did that myself and I could see it was just pushing my W farther away from me.

I don't feel just leaving it up to God is the correct answer either. I feel there is a reason he is making us all go thru this, either to make us a better person or to make us be a better couple. Sure he knows what is going to happen but I feel he wants us to figure it out on our own so then it will make us a stronger person for ourselves.

There are a lot of good people on this web site and it helps just to look around for a while. Everyones story is a little different but if you can take pieces from different situations then it will help you see your situation a little better.

Good luck and no you aren't the only one going thru this so keep your chin up!!!!!

[brokenhearted29]

Thank you. I'm sorry for your situation but I'm glad to hear that I'm not alone. Its so easy for people to say leave him or give him a ultimatum. I dont know any better but to be with this man and I think that change really scares me. I feel that my tears have made me a stronger person. I'm just waiting for him to become the man he is suppose to be. I know that I shouldnt have to wait for him because he should already be committed to me and the kids. I guess sometimes people lose who they are and have to find themselves again. I wish I had the answer. I look at couples and wish I had what they have. if you would like to email me I would like to talk. It also help a great deal to to talk to people about your situation. My email is [email protected]

[brokenhearted29]

It use to be very hard for me when he would come home and then leave but now it doesnt bother me. My kids look for him sometimes. I like what you said about god. I guess I never looked at it that way. tks.

I am another one going thru a separation and it's been a month and a half for me.

I got the speach; I need my space, I need to be an adult, I'm not in love with you, but I do love you, etc. etc. etc.

The difference is I haven't talked to the W since she moved out. When we went to the counselor she asked what we wanted to do and I left it up to the W since she was the one moving out and she didn't want any contact for the first month. We were suppose to meet the counselor on the 28th last month but she had a family emergancy so we haven't done that yet.

I would think it would be harder letting your other half come & go as they please and it would be harder for you to heal.

If they want there space to think that is fine, give it to them because whatever you say to them at this time won't do any good, I did that myself and I could see it was just pushing my W farther away from me.

I don't feel just leaving it up to God is the correct answer either. I feel there is a reason he is making us all go thru this, either to make us a better person or to make us be a better couple. Sure he knows what is going to happen but I feel he wants us to figure it out on our own so then it will make us a stronger person for ourselves.

There are a lot of good people on this web site and it helps just to look around for a while. Everyones story is a little different but if you can take pieces from different situations then it will help you see your situation a little better.

Good luck and no you aren't the only one going thru this so keep your chin up!!!!!