Life feels empty without him....I miss him so much

[Confused5433]

So I retired from this forum to get over my ex. March was when we broke it off. I have seen him after the breakup a couple of times, we talked about our current situation. He is now married (for papers) doesn't love this girl, but proclaim his love for me. He made a mistake, and wants to make plans for us in the future=3yrs from now. He hasn't been the right person for me and did many terrible things (read my last threads) but, even after so much we both can't seem to let go. Somehow I always find myselft thinking about him and coming back to him. He was my life for so long.

 

Life is great but a bit monotonous, the job, the fam, friends are all wonderful...and I'll be 25 this weekend. But everything is so strange now,its like I'm physically present but my mind is always with him, it's surreal.

On top of that, all my closes friends are getting married this same year, can you believe that?? everyone seems to be finding their love...and Im here visiting weeding after weeding, remember my ex. and thinking about my future, a family, the what if and the unknows about this crazy life.

Fate seems to have turned its back on me...

 

I haven't meet anyone I'm attracted to, and I frankly don't have the will. I swear every morning the first thing that comes to mind is him, at work, on my alone time. I miss him more than I thought I could. I have this great emptiness inside, never in my wildest dream could I have imagined the pain of losing what once made you so happy, so high on life.

If only he would say he didn't love me anymore, that he never did.

Maybe things would be easier or more painful.

 

He was my first love and now it's over. I guess what I am asking is how you let go...I CAN'T, I've tried but it's so hard. I miss everything about him, he's not a bad person only immature and selfish. Ok, fine he's got a lot to learn....but he was my love. Logically I know he's not the "ONE", but convincing my heart of this, has become almost an impossible task.

 

I always looked at outside sources or within myself or God for happiness, and before him I was fine. Now life seems so different, like someone turned the swith off, every great thing about this world gives me momentary happiness, but my mind keeps wishing he was right next to me experiencing life together.

 

Please give me some insights......some strenght to keep going day by day...

 

Many thanks.

[D-Lish]

I suspect that you're unable to get over it because you still have the hope aspect involved.... and he isn't disputing that.

 

How long did you guys date for?

 

Are you willing to wait 3 years for him to make up his selfish mind? Don't do it. How do you move forward? For starter's, cut off contact.

It's doing you no good to hear his voice and hear his pleas of "I made a mistake, please wait for me".

 

25 is too young to put your life on hold. That is what you are doing- you are putting everything on hold because you are anticipating his return one day. The only way to start grieving properly over this is to put the relationship to rest in your mind. Once you convince yourself it's over, you can begin to start your life again.... without him.

 

Lean on your friends and family, go out on dates whether you are attracted to them or not- just get yourself used to the practice.

 

It's unfair of him to ask you to wait.

D

[Confused5433]

Thank you D-List.

 

I had remove myself from this forum because I needed a break and resort my thoughts. It has been way over a month since we last spoke. I wrote him an email the day before my b-day and he never replied. I always tried so hard to end things properly, to answer his questions, to have a conversation because we deserve to know. Apparently he doesn't even care enough to wish me a happy bday or to say thank you for the email. Silence is all he gave me and that was enought to realize that he is not worth it.

 

I can't lie and say I'm over him, because I'm truly not. But, life seems brighter and I'm starting to have goals and dreams again about my future.

 

What Im dealing with right now is accepting the fact that you can loose someone you gave your heart to in an instant, and not by accident or chance, but because they decided to cut you off.

 

Becoming strangers again with a lover is such a difficult concept, specially because one day it would be nice to remember, but you won't have him to look back and share. Before I couldn't be friends, but know I can and I need him as a friend. He was my first love and I didn't want to loose him like this.

But he's a child and will never act with maturity and respect, so I have no choice but turn my head the other way and hope to one day never feel anything for him anymore.

 

Thank you again.

[D-Lish]

It does happen~ the eventual realization that you are over things. It never happens overnight though.

 

I wish they had a insta-cure pill for heartache, kinda like extra strength Advil gel caps... but for heartbreak instead of headache. lol.

 

My ex didn't call me on my b-day either. For me, that was the day I realized he just didn't care about me anymore. With x-mas approaching, I am feeling down again. I don't want to go through x-mas alone again. Last year my ex and I spent x-mas together and it was such a happy time for me. This year will be another lonley holiday. yuck.

 

It's really unfair of your ex to expect you to wait for him to get his sh&t together. I know you know that. You deserve to be with someone who can give all of himself to you. By the time he figures out his stuff and contacts you again (and he will)... I am sure you will have moved on.

 

I have had my heart broken by a few men in my life... and the sweet justice of it is that they have come back.... but by the time they did, I had moved on and didn't want them anymore.

 

I don't know how I would have survived without this forum.

My friends are also all coupled up and having babies.... and no one really wants to hear about the single girl and her heartbreak all the time when they are busy with their own love lives. I really want to take a vacation over x-mas- take off somewhere warm by myself! I'm sick of being around happy couples too!

 

:-)

D

[gonetildecember]

 

I don't know how I would have survived without this forum.

My friends are also all coupled up and having babies.... and no one really wants to hear about the single girl and her heartbreak all the time when they are busy with their own love lives. I really want to take a vacation over x-mas- take off somewhere warm by myself! I'm sick of being around happy couples too!

 

:-)

D

 

I hear ya D-Lish!

 

"I always looked at outside sources or within myself or God for happiness, and before him I was fine. Now life seems so different, like someone turned the swith off, every great thing about this world gives me momentary happiness, but my mind keeps wishing he was right next to me experiencing life together."

 

I understand that it's hard for you- I experience the same thing. As long as there is hope- your heart forces you to keep holding on to that chance. Hopefully things get better for you- it sucks waiting for someone and not knowing if it will ever go your way.